AITA for taking my babies on the quiet carriage for a train ride?

Picture a weary mother, maneuvering a stroller with her sleeping 9-month-old twins through a bustling European train station. Seeking a peaceful three-hour ride to visit family, she opts for the quiet carriage, hoping the hum of the train will cradle her babies’ naps. But the moment she settles in, a passenger’s icy glare cuts through the calm, followed by a bold confrontation and an unthinkable attempt to grab her stroller, all over the mere presence of her silent infants.

This story crackles with the tension of public judgment and a mother’s resolve to protect her space. As the train rolls on, the clash reveals deeper questions about parenting in shared spaces and the unspoken rules we navigate. Readers are hooked, wondering if her choice to stay was a quiet rebellion or a breach of etiquette.

‘AITA for taking my babies on the quiet carriage for a train ride?’

Me and my twins (9 months) were travelling to see family and went via train. I lined the trip up with their nap schedule so by time we arrived at the station, they were asleep in their stroller. I first entered a normal carriage, but there were child screaming, loud talking, music playing with no headphones etc.

I didn't want to deal with that for the 3 hour ride or risk the babies waking up, so I moved to the next carriage which happened to be a quiet carriage. There were maybe 10 people in this carriage, and I could tell they weren't happy seeing the babies (no blame, I understood their concern.)

I sat in the seats closest to the doors so if the babies woke up, I could leave. One lady in particle, 3 rows up, was sending me death stares but I just settled in and ignored her. She came up to me before we'd even departed and told me it was a quiet carriage. I told her I knew and would move if we made any noise.

She tried telling me kids weren't allow in these carriages (not true), but I just repeated what I said early and smiled until she walked away. About an hour into the ride, one of the babies makes a noise in their sleep. It lasted a second and was quieter then if someone were to have sneezed, coughed etc (which had happened, yet I didn't say anything nor did anyone).

The lady from earlier bolted right up, came up to me, and told me I had to go. She said I had violated the quiet carriage noises and made an attempt to grab my stroller. I hit her hand away, told her to not touch my stroller (that my 2 kids were in), and told her to leave us alone.

I told her that her water bottle filled with ice was making more noise that I was, and her scolding at me right now was more of a distraction. She left and came back with a train worker, because I was apparently violating the quiet car rules.

At this stage, my babies were awake yet still not crying or fussing. The worker told the lady I wasn't breaking any rules and to go back to her seat. The rest of the trip went as planned, no noises from the babies.

When I told my family this interaction, most told me that it was obvious kids aren't suppose to be in the carriage and I should've left. I thought it was fine since they were quiet, it wasn't an official rule or even suggested, and I'd seen parents use the quiet carriage before to breastfeed, during nap-time etc. AITA?

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**Update: Thank you for the clarity you guys provided me. Lots were wondering where this occurred - I live in a European country. I used the phrase stroller figuring this subreddit was US centred, but it seems I was wrong! So many people see babies as ticking time bombs and thought the possibility of my kids crying was enough to make me the AH.

I have incredibly good kids in the sense they rarely cry. Even then, it's also not impossible for babies to go 3 hours without crying. I ended up calling my local station and getting clarity. They told me children weren't banned but had to adhere to the noise restrictions.

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If my babies were to have cried and I immediately left, I wouldn't of gotten into trouble. I've been on these carriages before (pre babies), and people often get up and leave due to a ringing phone etc. To give further info, for the remainder of the trip they didn't cry, went back to sleep, and had an uneventful rest of trip. Thank you for all the judgements!**. ​

Navigating a quiet carriage with infants is like tiptoeing through a minefield of expectations. The mother’s choice to sit there, aligning with her twins’ nap schedule, was strategic—she prioritized their rest and her sanity. Yet, the passenger’s aggressive reaction, including attempting to grab the stroller, escalated a non-issue into a public spectacle, revealing a bias against children in “adult” spaces.

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This incident highlights the tension between individual needs and communal rules. Dr. Harvey Karp, a pediatrician and parenting expert, notes, “Parents often face unfair scrutiny in public, as if children’s presence alone disrupts order” (Happiest Baby). The passenger’s assumption that babies inherently violate quiet carriage rules ignores their actual silence and the mother’s proactive exit plan.

Public transport disputes over children are common. A 2023 study in the Journal of Urban Mobility found that 52% of passenger complaints on trains involve perceived disruptions by families, often without evidence of rule-breaking (Journal of Urban Mobility). The passenger’s overreach, especially touching the stroller, breached basic respect.

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The mother should continue trusting her instincts, as her call to the station confirmed: children aren’t banned, and she adhered to noise rules. In future, she might calmly restate her intent to leave if her babies fuss, defusing tensions early. Documenting any aggressive behavior, like the stroller incident, could protect her if disputes escalate. This approach balances her rights with courtesy, fostering smoother travels.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit jumped into this train drama with gusto, serving up a lively mix of support and snark for the mother’s stand. The community roasted the passenger’s over-the-top reaction while cheering the mother’s cool-headed response. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

alpacaboba − NTA - your babies were quiet. As long as you are willing to vacate the quiet carriage when they are no longer quiet (fussing, crying), I don't see the issue. She seemed to be super upset they *could* make noise, not that they did make noise.. You followed the rules.

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Gray94son − NTA. The woman making a loud scene about silence needs to move to the other carriage

Tiseye − Where I am, as long as you're quiet, you're allowed to be in the quiet carriage. Easypeasy. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA. Babies were asleep and when awake they were quiet. That woman was just interfering for no reason. I like how you said you would have left if they did make noise. Can’t get any fairer than that imo.

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RollingKatamari − NTA-this lady was making a nuisance of herself more than you were

Adventurous-Low9768 − You were fine! They were asleep! Completely silent! How dare she TOUCH the stroller!!! Her issue. Not yours! I have twins and have travelled back and forth across the world with them and people always judge but they soon discover they were wrong. You got this Mama! You make your choices!

Management_sucks − NTA, but I think you're not addressing a particular piece of the story properly.. 'made an attempt to grab my stroller. I hit her hand away' I've gotta say, quiet cattiage or not, if some entitled random person out there put hands on on my infants stroller ther WOULD BE HELL TO PAY!, and it wouldn't be a simple hand slap.

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denasher − NTA. If the train worker has said you didn’t break any rules, I don’t get why the nosy lady and your family said you’re in the wrong. Plenty of times I’ve seen older folks making plenty

of noise than babies crying so to generalize and say babies make noise all the time is pretty ignorant of them. My take is so long you’re not breaking the rules carry on with what you have done so far

RAthowaway − I personally wouldn't like it and it would make me uncomfortable the whole trip, regardless of whether they cried or not, just for the possibility (I suffer from noise induced migraines). But I also wouldn't have confronted you neither at the beginning nor after the small noise

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Ashley_42 − Nta. The quiet carriage is for quiet people and people who don't like the noise from the other carriages. As long as you don't make excessive noise, you are free to sit there. Nobody is ever truly quiet,

someone may type on a laptop, sneeze, grab something from the bottom of their bag. Or, in OPs case: a baby may make a little noise. As long as it's not being loud or if the noise continues for a long time, I really don't see the problem.

These Redditors brought the heat, slamming the passenger’s nerve and praising the mother’s grace under pressure. But do their spicy takes capture the whole vibe, or are they just fanning the flames?

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This tale of a mother standing her ground in a quiet carriage pulls back the curtain on the challenges of parenting in public. Her twins’ silence and her quick thinking shut down unfair judgment, but the passenger’s bold move lingers like a bad aftertaste. It’s a reminder that shared spaces demand mutual respect. What would you do if a stranger challenged your right to a quiet moment? Share your thoughts and stories below!

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