AITA for telling my(19M) cheating dad that I didn’t care about him and my step father has been a better father than him?

Imagine a 19-year-old, still reeling from the high school gossip mill that churned out his dad’s affairs with not one, but three teachers—including his trusted cheerleading coach. The betrayal shattered his family, led to his parents’ divorce, and left him dodging whispers in the hallways. Now, four years later, his dad demands a Christmas reunion, but the son’s done—cutting contact and calling his stepdad the real father figure. When dad tries to deflect, comparing his string of affairs to the son’s one-time drunken mistake, the phone call ends in a fiery hang-up.

The fallout’s messy: sister’s mad, mom thinks he was too harsh, and the son feels like he’s trapped in a “f**king madhouse.” Was his blunt honesty a justified stand against a dad who humiliated him, or did it cross into cruelty? This story dives into the raw wounds of family betrayal and the struggle to set boundaries.

‘AITA for telling my(19M) cheating dad that I didn’t care about him and my step father has been a better father than him?’

Family betrayals cut deep, like a knife through a high school yearbook, and this 19-year-old’s clash with his dad is a masterclass in unresolved pain. His dad’s affairs weren’t just marital missteps—they were public humiliations that rocked his world. Let’s unpack this with a sharp eye and expert insight.

The dad’s affairs, especially with teachers tied to his son’s life, weren’t just personal failures; they were a breach of trust that turned a private school into a rumor mill. A 2023 Journal of Family Psychology study found that parental infidelity impacts 75% of children’s trust in family relationships, often leading to estrangement (Journal of Family Psychology). The son’s choice to cut contact and embrace his stepdad reflects a natural need for stability, not spite. Dad’s attempt to equate his years-long cheating with the son’s one-off, confessed mistake is a false equivalence, dodging accountability.

Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, an infidelity expert, wrote in a 2024 Psychology Today article, “When parents cheat, children often feel betrayed not just by the act, but by the secrecy and public fallout” (Psychology Today). The dad’s demand for Christmas together ignores the son’s pain, and his gaslighting—flipping the script to compare their actions—shows a lack of remorse. The mom and sister’s reactions, while protective of family ties, miss the son’s need for boundaries.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating forgiveness when trust is shattered. The son’s not obligated to reconnect, especially without an apology. Advice? He should stand firm but consider a calm letter to his dad, outlining how the affairs impacted him, to clarify his stance without escalation. Talking to his mom about his hurt, not just the words, could ease tension. For his sister, respecting her bond with dad while asserting his own boundaries keeps the door open for their relationship.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew dove into this family feud like it’s a prime-time drama, dishing out support with a side of shade. Here’s the raw scoop, fresh from the thread, packed with fire and empathy:

Redditors overwhelmingly backed the son, cheering his stand against a dad who “blew up” his life and slamming the false comparison to his own mistake. Some questioned the teachers’ ethics, others the sister’s loyalty. Do these takes nail the heart of it, or are they just fueling the fire?

This father-son clash is a gut-punch reminder that infidelity’s fallout lingers, especially when it humiliates a kid in their own school. The son’s harsh words were born of years of hurt, not just a moment’s anger, but his family’s pushback shows how betrayal fractures more than just trust. How would you handle a parent who demands reconciliation without owning their mess? Share your thoughts below—let’s unpack this messy family drama!