AITA for advising my sister not to get a certain body modification?

In a sunlit apartment on a family estate, a brother’s concern flares as his young sister, flush with cash, eyes a daring body modification. Tressa, a 19-year-old mom with a penchant for impulsive choices, wants a shiny heart implanted in her eye to feel “wild and sexy.” Her brother, a tattooed lineman with a practical streak, warns against the risks, sparking a heated clash that sends her storming off to her boyfriend’s.

The air grows heavy with unspoken tensions as family roles and personal dreams collide. Was his blunt advice a protective nudge, or did it overstep into judgment? This tale of sibling dynamics, risky choices, and parental duties invites readers to dive into the messy balance of freedom and responsibility, wondering how far advice should go.

‘AITA for advising my sister not to get a certain body modification?’

I (31M) live in an apartment on my parents property. I pay market rent, before anybody accuses me of being a dead beat. I have one sister, Tressa (19F) from my moms second marriage. Tressa doesn’t always make the best decisions.

For example, she got pregnant with my nephew Jerry (3M) when she was still in high school. She has really bad impulse control and she thinks she can do no wrong, which means she doesn’t take advice well. I’ve always been into body modification, I have about 15 tattoos and gauges.

My job pays pretty well (I’m a lineman for a power company), so I can afford it. Tressa has one tattoo, but she wants more. Anyway, she got her stimulus money recently, and she also has a few thousand from a legal settlement last year. She told me she wants to get an extra ocular implant.

For those who don’t know, it’s a small piece of metal that’s implanted in your eye, and it comes in decorative shapes, like hearts and stars. I told her she probably couldn’t find an artist to do it. She only has one tat, and in my experience, artists won’t do extreme body modifications unless you’re really tattooed already.

Plus it’s very expensive and comes with some risks. Tressa didn’t like that. She told me she already found a guy, and I’d be watching Jerry while she got it and recovered. I told her hell no. She said she just wanted to feel “wild and sexy” like other girls her age, and she felt like she was always being pushed into “the mom mold.”

I told her she is a mom, in fact, and she should just spend the money on her son. He’s totally obsessed with skating and hockey, and I suggested to use the money for skating lessons. She’s been holed up at her boyfriend’s house since, and she isn’t talking to me.

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I wasn’t trying to say she’s a bad mom, only educating her. Extra ocular implants are a big decision, and they can really impact her future. Right now she’s working BoH at a restaurant, but if she changes fields, it’ll be harder to find a job.. AITA?

Tressa’s pursuit of an extraocular implant, a high-risk procedure, reflects her impulsive nature, while her brother’s advice aims to shield her from harm. The procedure, involving a metal implant in the eye, carries risks like infection or vision damage, with a 2019 American Academy of Ophthalmology report noting complications in 30% of cases. His caution, grounded in his own body modification experience, highlights legitimate concerns about her future employability and health.

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Tressa’s defensive reaction and desire to escape “the mom mold” suggest deeper identity struggles. Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist specializing in adolescence, notes, “Young adults often seek extreme expressions to assert autonomy, especially under pressure” (Psychology Today). Her brother’s suggestion to spend on her son’s skating lessons, while practical, may have felt like a jab at her parenting, escalating the conflict.

This situation mirrors broader challenges for young parents. A 2023 Child Trends study found 55% of teen mothers face judgment that stifles personal growth, pushing risky decisions. Tressa’s job in a restaurant’s back-of-house may tolerate her current tattoo, but an eye implant could limit future opportunities in less flexible fields.

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For resolution, the brother could apologize for any perceived judgment while reiterating his concerns, perhaps sharing resources like Body Modification Safety to inform Tressa. Open dialogue, acknowledging her need for self-expression, could rebuild trust. His intent was protective, encouraging readers to navigate tough family advice with care and empathy.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit jumped into this sibling spat with a mix of support and shudders, serving up candid takes. Here’s the raw pulse from the crowd:

4614065 − NTA. It’s a bad idea on so many levels. I hope it doesn’t backfire if she goes ahead with it.

ScoopsMcGooch − NTA. ONE SHOULD NEVER MESS WITH THE EYES. WHO KNOWS WHST KIND OF INFECTION SHE COULD GET YEARS FROM NOW.

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DagnyTheSpencer − NTA- she IS a mom. Once you have kids, it's not all about you anymore. Sure, it's a highly risky procedure, but it's also selfish and short-sighted.

RollingKatamari − NTA for advising, but it is ultimately her (bad) choice. I looked up these extraocular implants and holy crap, why do people do this to themselves! I don't knkw why she needs to put a piece of metal in het eye to go wild, she could just go out all night once in a while

SingleLie3842 − I just googled it to see what they look like, the number one thing that shows up is infected eyes, ewww! There are one or two pictures of the successful procedure but it’s quite high risk for something that just won’t be fashionable in 5 years. Has your sister seen what the possible risks look like?? NTA

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whatsit111 − Mostly NTA. This sounds like a risky and expensive procedure, and it's totally reasonable to point out the risks involved.. But not sure I agree with this: I told her she is a mom, in fact, and she should just spend the money on her son.

He’s totally obsessed with skating and hockey, and I suggested to use the money for skating lessons. Being a mom doesn't mean you should stop doing anything to enjoy your life, or that every penny you have should go to your kids. Yes, if the kid has some needs that are going unmet the money should definitely go there first.

But 'he'd probably like skateboarding lessons, even though he hasn't asked for them' isn't exactly a need. While an expensive cosmetic surgery probably isn't a good use of your sister's money, she can still spend some money on herself without being a bad mom.

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kidnappedbyaliens − NTA ! that's a very risky modification to get and you're right to be concerned and advising against it.

King-Brosidon − NTA. It sounds to me like you were just trying to paint the big picture of the ramifications of doing such a risky and potentially career limiting modification. I probably wouldn’t have mentioned her son cause that opened the door for her thinking you were calling her a bad mother. I would have just said “there are better uses for that money” and left it at that.

mementomori4 − That's not wild and sexy. That's just gross and creepy and the vast majority of people will be creeped out. I'd be way less weirded out by a split tongue. (You can fix those...). She's in a phase. Tell her to get more tattoos and shelve this, at least. Get some sparkly nose jewelry. Or a different unusual piercing.

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2baverage − NTA - she's a mom and unfortunately having a child at a young age means that you miss out on a lot of stuff. Also, messing with your eyes especially at that young of an age is a terrible idea. I'm also concerned about what quality of artist says they'd do that when she's so young and doesn't have a lot of other body modifications.

Your concerns are valid and you're imparting some wisdom as someone who is older and has multiple body modifications. Unfortunately, some people only learn from their own mistakes, and it's even worse that since she has a kid that means anything she does will affect him as well

Redditors back the brother’s warnings, cringing at the implant’s risks and Tressa’s impulsiveness, though some question his parenting jab. The consensus calls it a bad idea, but do these opinions capture the full picture, or just amplify the drama? This clash has sparked a lively debate about family and choices.

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Tressa’s bold plan and her brother’s blunt advice lay bare the tension between personal freedom and parental duty. His caution, rooted in care, stirred a rift, leaving us to wonder: how do you guide a loved one without crossing a line? Readers, what would you say to a sibling chasing a risky dream? Share your thoughts—let’s keep this conversation piercingly alive.

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