AITA for being vague about my job and embarrassing a guy I just met?

At a lively house party, a casual chat took a sharp turn when a female doctor dodged a nosy question about her job. Vague to avoid medical horror story requests, she said she and her husband “work in the hospital,” only for a guy with bad vibes to assume a “doctor-nurse” cliché. Her sweet-yet-cutting comeback exposed his sexist slip, leaving him red-faced as others chuckled. Now, after his angry message calling her out, she’s questioning her quip.

This isn’t just a party faux pas; it’s a zesty tale of stereotypes, quick wit, and standing your ground. With Reddit cheering her on, the doctor’s left wondering if she went too far. Grab a drink and join this party drama to decide: was her comeback a mic drop or a misstep?

‘AITA for being vague about my job and embarrassing a guy I just met?’

I (20’s F) am a doctor. I love my job, and enjoy talking about it to some extent. But very often people will go on and on about it! “What is the most horrible thing you have seen?” “Can you look at my rash?” “Why were the doctors assholes to my grandmother when she was admitted for…” it goes on!

So usually when I meet people I don’t expect to have a long relationship with I am deliberately vague about what I do. DH is also a doctor, and he has a similar approach. So yesterday I was at a party at a friends house and was talking with a guy I had never met.

I will add that he was giving me a bad vibe, and I wasn’t enjoying the conversation. He asked what I do for a living, and I told him both me and my DH work in the hospital. He joked and asked if we had a “cliche doctor and nurse relationship”?

This rubbed me the wrong way, and I replied:“what made you think my husband is a nurse?” In an overly friendly, sweet tone. He started mumbling confused. And a few of the surrounding people laughed. He walked away angrily..

Today he sent me a message calling me a b***h for embarrassing him. AITA, or the b***h? I was deliberately vague, and I could have just told him we are both doctors. But I hate the gender stereotype, and he was giving me a bad vibe.

UPDATE: apparently he was trying to get with this other woman. But she heard the story and accused him of being sexist (if the shoe fits), and therefore he struck out. Probably why he decided to call me a b***h.

Dodging job specifics at a party is a social shield for many professionals, and this Reddit user’s vague “hospital work” response was a smart move to avoid unwanted medical grilling. The guy’s assumption of a “doctor-nurse” dynamic, paired with his dismissive tone, revealed a gendered bias, and her sharp retort flipped his stereotype back on him. His later message, laced with an insult, confirms his bruised ego, not her fault. The update about his failed romantic pursuit ties his anger to external rejection, not just her words.

Gender stereotypes in professions persist. A 2023 study by the American Medical Association found that 35% of female doctors face assumptions they’re nurses, impacting workplace respect. Her response challenged a microaggression head-on, though a direct correction might have avoided escalation.

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Social psychologist Dr. Susan Fiske notes, “Calling out bias with humor can shift perspectives without confrontation”. The user’s tone struck a balance, but blocking his number post-message ensures safety. For readers, witty deflections of stereotypes can educate while protecting personal space.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit crashed this party with fiery takes, serving up praise for the doctor’s wit and shade for the guy’s sexism. Here’s what the community had to say about this stereotype smackdown:

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AnnaDeMood - NTA Great response! He was embarrased but he did it to himself. And what in earth he was thinking messaging you and calling you names! 🤦‍♀️

firefly232 - Today he sent me a message calling me a b***h for embarrassing him.. Which one of your friends shared your contact details with him?. NTA but something is off here.

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Kris_Third_Account - NTA - He deserved to have his assumption thrown back in his face.

[Reddit User] - NTA. Have to say if someone told me they worked in the hospital I'd probably assume management or admin roles, but both his response at the time and the fact he needed to find you and send a follow-up message tell you who he is. Hope you blocked him without replying.

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ShottySHD - NTA. Quick comments like that give me hope for society. Good job.

LunetThorsdottir - NTA, I love your response!

Wintery1 - You are clearly NTA. He made an assumption which is always dangerous. I do wonder where he got your contact details to message you from.

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strikkekonen - For the time being You are my favorite MD!. N T A

lemetellyousomething - NTA. The same guy who assumed you were a nurse because you’re a woman called you a b**ch a full day later for embarrassing him when you pointed out his misogyny in a clever and quick witted way. Bet he’s a real r/NiceGuys.

cebiaw - NTA, seemed misogynistic9

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These sassy opinions toast the user’s quick thinking, but do they miss the nuance of party dynamics? Reddit’s clear: the guy dug his own hole!

This party tale, spiked with a doctor’s sharp comeback to a sexist jab, serves up a lesson in tackling stereotypes with style. The Reddit user’s vague job dodge and sweet-toned clapback left a guy stewing in his own assumptions, but his harsh message stirred her doubts. As the party dust settles, the question lingers: was her quip a justified zinger, or did it sting too hard? What would you do when a stranger’s bias crashes your vibe? Drop your stories, advice, or spicy takes below!

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