WIBTA if I sue my mother?

In a family bound by a trust fund’s promise, a child’s future seemed secure—until betrayal unraveled it all. Since childhood, the OP relied on their mother to manage annual trust payments meant for college, assured that the money was safely saved. But behind the scenes, those funds fueled their mother’s mortgages and vacations, leaving nothing for the education they were promised.

When college came, the OP faced a harsh truth: their mother not only spent their trust money but secretly took out $20,000 in student loans in their name, now lingering at $16,000, tanking their credit and home loan dreams. As the mother’s empty promises to repay fade, this Reddit saga unfolds like a gut-wrenching drama, pitting family loyalty against the sting of financial fraud.

‘WIBTA if I sue my mother?’

My family is in a trust. I have been getting money since I was small, when the trust was created by a relative. There are a handful of us who get payments every year, with these payments I make a middle-class salary. Every member gets a portion of the money, but parents get the payments to manage for the minors.

Since I was a kid when the money came, my mother was in charge of my money. She told me that she was saving most of it for me. She made it clear that I HAD to go to college, and not to worry about the expense because 'we had enough'. She made bad financial decisions, using my money at various times to pay her mortgages.

She never saved a cent of the money for me. I got into a State college. The tuition wasn't cheap, but affordable with my income. My mother told me if I let her keep managing my money, she would pay my tuition and give me enough to pay rent. I had the option to take it, and she convinced me that it was better for me if she managed it.

She gave me a few thousand for rent and expenses, and I trusted she was paying my tuition with the rest. For the first few years, my tuition was paid up. But instead of putting any excess money (of my own money) aside for me, she used the remainder of my money (while still having her own share) to pay her own mortgage bills, go on vacations, etc.

I didn't finish in 4 years, I stayed in school for 6. She said this was fine, she said I could afford it. But she didn't have enough to cover her own expenses without my money, so she took out loans for my school fees. She told me she was taking them in her name, but she secretly put them in my name instead of her own.

She had access to enough money (my money) to pay my tuition bills, but chose to spend my money on her mortgage, lost the house anyway, and racked up close to $20,000 in student debt under my name. I never signed off on the loans, I don't even know who she took the loans through. I have never made a payment because this has been 'her loan'.

When I first found out that the loans were in my name, I accused her of stealing my money to pay her own bills, and she promised she would pay me back by paying these loans off. She swore she would pay them off, but 6 years later my credit has $16k of debt still attached to me.

I know the loan was for my school fees, but I didn't sign off on them nor did I want them. If I had known I couldn't pay for school, I probably wouldn't have even gone. Well, now I can't get a home loan because I have a really high debt ratio.

ADVERTISEMENT

I found out she has been making minimum payments, and recently deferred the loans, which my home loan officer has said is a big problem because there are no recent payments on the loan account. I told my dad what she did

and he advises me to file a fraud claim against my her, which is the last thing I want to do. My aunt (in the trust) advised me to do the same thing, to sue my own mother for the debt. I really don't want to, but she wont pay them off, and I feel I have few other options..

ADVERTISEMENT

This tale of betrayal cuts deep, exposing the pain of a mother’s financial misconduct. The OP’s mother, entrusted with managing their college fund, siphoned it for personal expenses and secretly saddled them with $16,000 in student loans. This breach of fiduciary duty, compounded by forging loans in the OP’s name, has left their financial future in tatters, blocking homeownership.

Financial expert Jean Chatzky warns, “Misusing a child’s trust fund is not just unethical—it’s often illegal, especially when it involves fraud” . The OP’s case mirrors a growing issue: 1 in 5 student loan borrowers report unauthorized loans, per a Consumer Financial Protection Bureau report. The mother’s actions, including taking loans without consent, likely constitute identity theft, a crime with serious legal consequences.

ADVERTISEMENT

The OP’s hesitation to sue stems from family ties, but the mother’s failure to repay—making only minimum payments and deferring the loans—shows little remorse. With 60% of identity theft victims facing credit damage, per Experian, the OP’s high debt ratio is a direct result of her fraud. Legal action could discharge the loans and hold her accountable, though it risks family fallout.

The OP should consult a lawyer to explore fraud claims and review trust documents, as Reddit suggests, to confirm the mother’s authority was exceeded. Filing a police report for identity theft may clear the debt. Emotionally, setting boundaries with the mother is crucial. This story highlights the need to protect financial trust, especially within families.

ADVERTISEMENT

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit unanimously declared the OP not the asshole, condemning the mother’s actions as fraud and theft. They urged legal action, citing her misuse of trust funds and unauthorized loans as identity theft, which has left the OP with crippling debt and no accountability from her.

Commenters praised the OP’s father and aunt for supporting a fraud claim, emphasizing that the mother’s guilt trips shouldn’t deter justice. They stressed the long-term impact on the OP’s credit and future, agreeing that suing, though painful, is necessary to correct the financial damage she caused.

Elfich47 − NTA - you need a lawyer to unwind this. You need to figure out how much of a line she has been feeding you and how much discretion she has/had and if and or when she exceeded her authority..

ADVERTISEMENT

This is not amateur hour lawsuit time. You are going to need a real lawyer. Expect the relationship with her to go down in flames. And if you have been having issues, don’t be surprised if she has been playing games with other people’s money as well.

leslielaughs − NTA, but your mom sure is! She committed fraud. She needs to be punished for that. Plus, if you can prove you had no knowledge of loans being taken out under your name, it's doubtful you will have to pay them back. Your dad and aunt are correct on this one - she used you.

DarkRogus − NTA - I agree with your Dad and your Aunt. Your Mom basically ripped you off and it's impacting your life. Also not sure how she can sign off on loans in your name either. You're going to have to lawyer up, it's doubtful that you're going to get your money back but hopefully you can get the loans under your name discharged in that they were done under fraud.

ADVERTISEMENT

perhapsnew − NTA. Your mom committed fraud against you and against the lender. She ruined your financial reputation.. You absolutely should sue her.

TheoryAddict − NTA. Sue her but for every penny and get those loans negated and put under HER name. What she did is fraud/identity theft imo, not even just 'regular' or petty theft but like Grand theft kinds deal.

Your mother obviously has *no* regards for you and was selfishly using **YOUR money** for herself and in turn put you in debt which will affect you most likely for **THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.**. I will repeat: ***THE REST OF YOUR LIFE***, while she pretty much gets off scott free!. You owe her nothing at this point but she owes you *A HECK OF A LOT.*

ADVERTISEMENT

Whatever other options you take will still leave you with some or a majority of this debt I believe, and it will still incur interest and you will still have to pay something that wasn't even your doing.

You getting this wiped as a fraud charge against her will help you in the long run, because again, she obviously didn't care about your future when she was using your money and secretly took out a loan in your name that has now F**ked you over.. *You dad and aunt are right.*

File the claim and don't look back. I'm sure that your dad and aunt can help you if you don't know where to start, or call up a lawyer office and see if they will do a free consultation, and if they say yes, explain the situation and ask them what to do from there. They may even recommend you to the police.

ADVERTISEMENT

And OP listen, idk if this will cause criminal charges against your mom like identity theft or major fraud, but if it does, ***don't back down no matter the guilt trips.***. She ***KNEW*** what she was doing putting it in YOUR name while using YOUR interest free money.

***She knew she wouldn't have the money for both the loan, her 'spending' and your schooling and is now making you and your credit take the fall for it.***. *So don't fall for her guilt trips or her BS any longer.*. Good luck OP and I wish you the best of luck!

rennykrin − NTA, she used you, OP, with zero regard for your future. Time to lawyer up.

ADVERTISEMENT

Peachieweachie23 − NTA - your mother has crossed a line, not only with you but another relative that is trusting her to give you all of it not what she decides. She has no right in anyway to do what she's done and you have every right to sue her

Edit: also I know it will probably ruin he relationship between you but don't ever think for a second it's anyone else's fault except hers. If she had been honest you wouldn't be put in this awkward position

ComprehensiveBand586 − NTA. It sounds like she's guilty of identity theft since you didn't know about the loans and you didn't consent to them either. You have to report her because otherwise you're on the hook for all that debt.

ADVERTISEMENT

Affectionate-Area659 − NTA your mom committed fraud and theft. Get a lawyer and sue her.

Himalayankitten − NTA. She stole from you, ruined your credit (which will take a while to rebuild) and committed fraud. She deserves to be held accountable.

This heart-wrenching story of a mother’s betrayal and a child’s stolen future burns with raw emotion. Reddit backs the OP’s right to seek justice, but the prospect of suing family cuts deep. Have you ever faced a betrayal that forced you to choose between loyalty and fairness? Share your experiences how do you navigate when trust turns toxic?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *