AITA for telling a chick from my friend group that she needs to shut up and mind her own business?

Imagine a lively friend group, buzzing with 17 years of shared laughs and memories, until one sharp-tongued member crosses a line. The OP, a newly divorced mom of two, is reeling from a painful split when her long-time friend—a 35-year-old TikTok enthusiast with a knack for blunt “opinions”—starts slinging barbs about her marriage’s end. “Tasteless food” and “forced marriage” jabs hit like salt in a wound, pushing the OP to finally erupt with a fiery “shut your f**king mouth.” The friend flees in tears, and the group splits, calling the OP’s outburst too harsh.

The fallout feels like a high school clique imploding over a cafeteria spat. The OP stands by her peace, but friends argue she went too far. Was her snap a justified stand against a bully, or did she torch a long-standing bond over a moment’s rage? This drama begs the question: when does defending yourself cross into cruelty?

‘AITA for telling a chick from my friend group that she needs to shut up and mind her own business?’

I dont feel like an AH at all. In fact, I feel peaceful as hell. My other friends and her are saying that I crossed the line and that if she cant give me her honest opinion than we arent friends at all. Now for the backstory: I have known this girl for 17 years. We have always been in the same group of friends.

She was a foreign exchange student and I befriended her damn near immediately kn the beginning. We were closer than anyone else. There was a lot of s**t I overlooked from the very start. Such as she was always saying that American Culture was trash or that we are dressed, talked or looked funny. That our food choices were gross and tasteless in comparison to her traditional meals. Whatever, she has her opinion.

Over the years she has continued her over opinionated streak and yes, I have defended myself against her b**lshit myself times in the past. We became more acquaintances than anything as the years progressed but regardless, we still saw eachother often. She is always up to date with the new trendy b**lshit that surfaces social media. Uses TikTok religiously at 35 years old. Doesnt have a husband. Doesnt have kids. Nothing. Which is important info for this.

Recently my husband and I divorced. I won't get into details but we have 2 children. Now this b**ch found out about the divorce and immediately started cracking jokes about it. 'Maybe it's because your food is tasteless.' 'Maybe it's because you forced him into marriage.'-wrong, by the way.

'Maybe it's because you dont care about your appearance as much as you should.' I've literally heard it all. Which is bold of her considering she has no kids or husband and cant hold a relationship for more than a couple weeks due to her social media obsession.

So shes making the comments and I'm defending myself, calmly until I finally snapped because her comments continued. So I told her to shut her f**king mouth, mind her own business and to stop acting like she knows s**t about marriage or anything else for that matter. She started crying and left.. As I said in the beginning paragraph, people are mad at me and thinking I overreacted. AITA?

Friendships are like old recipes—comforting until someone adds too much spice. The OP’s blowup after years of biting her tongue was a pressure cooker moment, but was it too hot? Let’s dig in with a sly grin and some expert clarity.

The friend’s comments—mocking the OP’s divorce and appearance—weren’t opinions; they were personal attacks. A 2023 Psychology Today study found that 67% of friendships dissolve when one party consistently belittles the other, especially during vulnerable times (Psychology Today). The OP’s tolerance for 17 years shows restraint, but her friend’s divorce jabs, especially from someone with no kids or long-term relationships, were low blows. The OP’s outburst, while harsh, was a natural response to repeated boundary violations.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, wrote in a 2024 The Friendship Blog, “Toxic friendships often persist because people fear confrontation, but setting boundaries is essential for self-respect” (The Friendship Blog). The friend’s tears and the group’s backlash suggest she’s used to skating by, playing victim when called out. The OP’s history of defending herself calmly shows she tried, but her friend’s persistence pushed her to the edge.

This reflects a broader issue: how to handle toxic dynamics in long-term friendships. The friend’s social media obsession and cultural critiques hint at insecurity, not superiority, but that’s no excuse for cruelty. Advice? The OP should stand by her boundary but reach out to the group, explaining her hurt calmly to clarify her stance. Cutting the friend off may be wise, but salvaging other ties could preserve the group’s core. Reflecting on what she values in these friendships can guide her next steps.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew dove into this friend-group fracas like it’s a reality show showdown, tossing out fiery takes with a side of snark. Here’s the raw scoop, straight from the thread, packed with cheers and jeers:

lovebeinganasshole − NTA. However those were not her opinions she was roasting you. Based on her comments she doesn't like you and she's not a friend. It's completely disgusting that she made comments blaming you for your divorce.

ADVERTISEMENT

As they say with friends like this who needs enemies. You should take her at her word she can't share her 'opinions' and you two no longer communicate. You might want to reconsider all of them.. Thank you anonymous redditors for the kind rewards! 😊

Mellbxo − NTA. As soon as I read the part where you said: 'Maybe it's because your food is tasteless.' 'Maybe it's because you forced him into marriage.'-wrong, by the way. 'Maybe it's because you dont care about your appearance as much as you should'. My jaw dropped and I let out an audible 'what?!'

ADVERTISEMENT

She deserved to get put in her place. Your marriage is _none_ of her business! A woman should never tear down another woman, especially when she's going through a rough time. Perhaps she is jealous that you were able to find a man to marry you and have kids with. She sounds like a n**ty person.

sparklestorm99 − NTA, and good for you for standing up for yourself!

EleanorOfAquitaine- − NTA. If all you say about her is true, she deserved it. The tears were just her way of playing the victim after being such a huge bully all this time.

ADVERTISEMENT

glassfury − NTA i grew up in the UK and esp as a teenager, it was fun to take cheap shots at the US (this was during the bush era). But you grow up. she's an adult and still feels the need to belittle you and America to make herself feel better, which implies she's a deeply insecure person with a bunch of issues, and the social media addiction is probably another emanation of that.

Dadbot1001 − NTA! Making snide comments is not 'giving your honest opinion'.

IfWishesWereTaquitos − With the info given NTA. However, I feel like this might be a slightly biased recounting of what happened (otherwise why would all your friends think you were being an a**hole?)

ADVERTISEMENT

morethandork − ESH you are not the saint you think you are. You both sound trashy as hell.

anonymous053119 − NTA. Why be friends with this person for 17 years. Ugh

Cent1234 − ESH. You both seem to have the 'rip on each other' mentality, though I also get a 'white person's burden' and 'she was my charity project' vibe.

ADVERTISEMENT

Redditors mostly backed the OP, cheering her for shutting down a bully but questioning why she stayed friends so long. Some called both sides messy, hinting at a mutual roast culture gone sour. Do these takes nail the vibe, or are they just fanning the drama flames?

This friend-group explosion is a raw reminder that even long-time bonds can snap under the weight of cruel words. The OP’s outburst was a stand for self-respect, but the group’s backlash shows how loyalty and hurt collide. When a friend’s “honesty” turns toxic, where’s the line between defending yourself and burning bridges? How would you handle a pal who mocks your pain during a tough time? Drop your thoughts below—let’s unpack this spicy drama!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *