AITA For Asking My Girlfriend To Pay For The Wine Glass She Broke?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A single crash in the kitchen sent a ripple of tension through a couple’s cozy apartment. When a $120 wine glass, a cherished Christmas gift from a mother, shattered under the weight of a fallen dish, the stage was set for an unexpected showdown. The boyfriend, caught between sentiment and practicality, asked his girlfriend Trish to cover part of the replacement cost, sparking a three-day debate that revealed cracks deeper than the glass itself. Their story, shared on Reddit, pulls readers into a relatable tug-of-war over responsibility, love, and the price of accidents in shared spaces.

This domestic drama unfolds in a familiar setting—a kitchen bustling with everyday chores—yet it resonates with anyone who’s navigated the tricky balance of finances and feelings in a relationship. As the couple grapples with their 60/40 expense agreement, readers are left wondering: is it fair to split the cost of an accident, or should love absorb the loss?

‘AITA For Asking My Girlfriend To Pay For The Wine Glass She Broke?’

A few days ago, my girlfriend Trish (not her real name) was cleaning the kitchen windows. In the midst of her cleaning, she accidentally knocked over a dish from the drying rack and that dish landed on and shattered an expensive wine glass of mine. I say mine because it was given to me by my mother as a Christmas gift last year.

The glass retails for around $120. When she told me she had broken the glass by accident (which she was very nervous about because she knew the glass was expensive), we had a discussion (may classify this as an argument...) that lasted three days about how it would get replaced, and who would pay.

After all of this talking, she finally (she says) gave in and gave me 40% of the cost to replace the glass. I had initially asked that she replace the glass in full, but after discussion realized if we are partners, it would be logical to use the 60/40 calculation we use for everything else.

Background: Trish and I have been living together for about a year. When we initially decided to move in together, we decided to split all expenses 60%/40% because of our combined income distribution (I make 60% of our gross monthly earnings, she makes 40%).

After the initial agreement, Trish has now said she does not feel good about the agreement and wants me to give the money back to her. Her reasoning is that (A) it was a complete accident, and (B) she would never want to buy any wine glasses that expensive ever again.

My argument is that if we are to live together, we are going to be sharing costs, and inevitably things are going to break and need replacing/repairing. I liked this wine glass (again which was a gift from my mother) and would like to replace it so that we have a matching set once more.

More background: I know for a fact that Trish is financially able to reimburse me the 40%, and would suffer no undue hardship from the loss of those funds. On the other hand, I am also fully able to replace the glass without it affecting my financial stability.. AITA for asking Trish to reimburse 40% of the wine glass she broke by accident?

EDIT: It appears that according to popular sentiment IATA. I have therefore given Trish back her money. Thank you to the commenters that gave gentle and thoughtful wisdom on what they believed might be more of the root cause of this argument. I don't think we've been in a good place for a long time.

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And asking her for money was never about control. I wanted to see her take personal responsibility, because that is what I would have done. FYI Trish was with me and signed off on this post before I submitted it. She has read all of the comments.

After doing so, we now understand that she does not wish to have such nice things, and is worried about being too materialistic, as well as a prisoner in her own home, having to walk on eggshells in the fear that she might break something else. She is also sad that I was not able to show compassion and let it slide.

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I do struggle with showing empathy and compassion sometimes. And I also agree with the people who have commented on the argument spanning three days. It's exhausting for both of us. Life is too short. We have little fights like this all the time, and it's wearing on both of us. It might be time to call it quits.

This kitchen clash isn’t just about a broken glass—it’s a window into the complexities of cohabitation and financial fairness. The boyfriend’s push for a 60/40 split mirrors their income-based agreement, but Trish’s resistance highlights a deeper discomfort with rigid cost-sharing in relationships. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Successful couples don’t avoid conflict; they learn to navigate it with mutual respect and understanding” (The Gottman Institute). Here, the three-day argument suggests a communication breakdown, where both partners feel unheard.

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The boyfriend’s focus on responsibility clashes with Trish’s fear of materialism and “walking on eggshells.” This tension reflects a broader issue: how couples balance individual values with shared obligations. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family and Economic Issues found that 68% of cohabiting couples argue over financial disagreements, often due to mismatched expectations (Springer ). Trish’s reluctance to replace an expensive item may stem from differing priorities—her discomfort with costly possessions versus his attachment to a sentimental gift.

Gottman’s advice emphasizes empathy: the boyfriend could acknowledge Trish’s nervousness and accidental intent, while Trish could recognize the glass’s emotional value. Solutions include open dialogue about financial boundaries and creating a “forgiveness fund” for accidents, reducing future tension. Both partners should prioritize emotional connection over penny-pinching to rebuild trust and avoid exhausting disputes.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s hot takes on this saga are as spicy as a kitchen mishap! From witty jabs to heartfelt advice, the community weighed in with candid opinions. Here are some of the top comments:

Puzzleheaded-Jury312 − INFO: Why was a $120, presumably delicate, wine glass sitting in or next to a drying rack with regular dishes in the first place? If I had glassware that pricey, it would be washed, dried and put away after use.. ETA- ESH

keesouth − YTA nickel and diming each other like this does not make for a successful relationship. This was an accident. If she had some this on purpose I could see asking for reimbursement but this is how you treat a roommate not a girlfriend.

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me0mio − Frankly OP, I think you bear some responsibility here. If the glass is that expensive, it should be washed, dried and put away immediately. Accidents happen but it wouldn't have if it had not been left on the drying pad. I think her paying 40% is the maximum amount she should pay.

IIILordDunbar − You two fought for three days over a broken glass? Has the thought that this isn't a great relationship crossed your mind?

Runi387 − I'm so confused by the AH votes... Accident or not, your gf broke something that belonged to you. I think it was generous you offered to split the cost with her.. NTA.

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Any-Cauliflower-1877 − YTA. The fact that she was nervous about telling you to begin with shows just how ridiculous she knows you can be...

Aggravating-Dare-707 − YTA, When my husband and I moved in together he washed a very expensive sweater (designer and cashmere) in the washing machine, it was ruined. You know what I did? I cried a bit and then let it go. I left in a place that caused him to think he could wash it and he didn't think to check the tag.

It was an accident and I treated as such. I didn't demand he but me a new one, I just got over it. Life moved on and we didn't choose to cause hard feelings in our relationship over an accident.. ETA thank you for the gold.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Trish is getting a lot of support in these comments but in real life, if you break someone’s sentimental Christmas gift and only cop 40% of the cost, you apologize and be damn grateful about it. Even if you’re dating.

Even if you live together. This is just common practice. She ought to cough up the $48 and you ought to pay the remaining and better protect your expensive glassware. An absolute no brainer of a situation.

Mean_Environment4856 − More background: I know for a fact that Trish is financially able to reimburse me the 40%, and would suffer no undue hardship from the loss of those funds. On the other hand, I am also fully able to replace the glass without it affecting my financial stability.

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This part makes you the insufferable AH. You love together and it was an accident, if not having an expensive glass is going to cause you such a headache, replace it yourself, and next time don't leave it somewhere it can be broken or leave it to someone else to wash.. I don't understand people who penny pinch EVERYTHING in a relationship, its an accident, not a bill.

Blue_wine_sloth − Info: who left the glass on the drying rack? I’ve had very fragile wine glasses and I always immediately dry them and put them away so that they don’t get damaged by the other dishes.

These Reddit gems spark a question: do they mirror real-world dynamics, or are they just armchair quarterbacking? Either way, they add fuel to this domestic debate!

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This wine glass saga reveals how quickly a small accident can uncork deeper relationship issues. From financial fairness to emotional empathy, the couple’s three-day spat shows that love requires more than a calculator. By returning Trish’s money and reflecting on Reddit’s wisdom, the boyfriend took a step toward understanding—but is it enough to mend their rift? What would you do if a partner broke something sentimental: split the cost, let it go, or talk it out? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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