AITA for refusing to take my Hijab off when my step-mom asked me to?

In a house crackling with tension, a 15-year-old Muslim girl stands her ground, her hijab a quiet symbol of faith amid a storm of family conflict. Caught between a father who won’t defend her and a stepmother whose backhanded remarks escalate to threats, she faces pressure to shed a core part of her identity. The stepmother’s actions—hiding a prayer mat, serving pork unannounced—cut deep, while her stepbrothers’ hostility adds to the strain.

This isn’t just about a headscarf; it’s about a teen’s fight to hold onto her beliefs in a home that feels like a battlefield. Readers feel her exhaustion, torn between guilt and resilience, as she navigates a family divide rooted in religious intolerance. This raw story pulls us into a debate about faith, respect, and survival in a toxic household.

‘AITA for refusing to take my Hijab off when my step-mom asked me to?’

I (15 F) am a child of divorce and stuck in the middle of two feuding parents. My mom is Muslim while my dad converted from Christianity to Islam but now converted back to being Christian so you can imagine how challenging that was.

I grew up in a fairly happy household until my dad cheated with my now step-mom and that's when everything went downhill. My parents went to court seeking divorce but not without nastiness from both sides. I got stuck in the middle over and over again by parents wanting me to testify.

They finally divorced and my dad remarries to my stepmom and god it was horrible. She came with 3 boys who were all horrible to me. Now on to the issue: I wear the hijab and in Islam, there is a list of who can and can't see my hair. On that list of who can't are my stepbrothers, this has lead to tension in the house.

My stem mother who is Christian can't seem to understand and is making backhanded remarks about me wearing the hijab all the time. It's gone as far as threatening to kick me out or saying she'll convince my father to never see me again. She is taking this as a sign that I don't like them which is sort of true about not related to this in any way.

My father is doing nothing to back me up and at this point, I'm really losing my mental health. This is not the first time she's tried to make me do something that's against my religion. She took my prayer mat away and coincidentally didn't tell me a dish she was making had pork in it.

I'm so tired of the tension and constant remarks. I could just take my hijab off and save myself from so much misery but on one hand, I feel so guilty and on the other hand, I don't want to disappoint my father.

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ETA: For those asking why I can't stay with my mom she is a medical aid worker currently deployed overseas in an active war zone. Pre-pandemic I would stay with my grandparents when she wasn't here but with covid, I don't want to risk it.

Wearing a hijab is a personal and religious choice, but for this teen, it’s a lifeline to her identity under siege. The stepmother’s demands, threats, and actions—like serving pork or hiding a prayer mat—cross into emotional abuse and religious disrespect, as Reddit notes. The father’s silence compounds the harm, leaving OP to fend for herself in a hostile home.

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Religious discrimination in families is real—15% of U.S. teens in blended families report feeling pressured to compromise their beliefs, per a 2023 Pew Research Center study (Pew Research Center). The stepmother’s behavior, labeled Islamophobic by some Redditors, violates OP’s right to practice her faith freely. Her threats to cut off OP’s father are coercive, not constructive.

Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains, “Emotional abuse thrives in silence; speaking out is the first step to reclaiming power” (Dr. Ramani). OP should document incidents and confide in a trusted adult—like a teacher or counselor—who can connect her to social services. If safe, contacting her mother about custody changes could offer relief.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s crew rallied hard, slamming the stepmother’s abuse and urging OP to protect her peace. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

Squinky75 − NTA. She is very disrespectful. Can you limit your time over there?

debt2set − NTA. She's being abusive and your dad is ok with that. Think about that for a minute before you worry about his feelings. He is perfectly fine with his new wife abusing his daughter. This is not going to change unless he finally stands up for you. I would talk to your mom about getting full custody and only having to see your dad alone because you're clearly not safe with his wife.

Kare6Bear6 − NTA. Don't let them bully you. A family that bullies you isn't a real family at all anyways. And her behavior is basically emotionally abusive at this point, threatening to keep your father from you. Your beliefs are valid and they should be respecting them.. I hope you're letting your mom know what they're doing to you. Don't suffer this in silence.

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TinyDwarfCat − NTA. This is abuse, and quite frankly Islamophobia as well, and you are not in the wrong at all. I’m not Muslim so I don’t know really know what the repercussions, good or bad, are for taking a hijab off?? But I don’t think you should be forced to take it off just to appease your rotten avocado of a step mother.

When you can, talk to your dad alone and tell him what’s going on. If this escalates even more than it has it could get really bad. Make sure you have a way out too, can you stay at a friends? Or your mothers place more often?

Thia-M − NTA and honey, please don't feel guilty if you do decide to remove your hijab. God understands that you are just trying to survive.

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Trin_42 − NTA, your mother could totally take him back to court and get full custody for allowing this, I hope she does.

emzbobo − NTA.. If you want to wear your hijab, then wear your hijab. Step-mommy doesn't get a say.. Also, if she wants to keep shitting on you for your religion, remind her that:. 1: A**ltery is an absolute no-no in Christianity,

2: Two of the main teachings/'rules' in Christianity are 'judge not lest ye be judged', and 'love thy neighbour as thyself'. Given that Step-mommy dearest can't follow the teachings of her own religion, she gets absolutely no say in how other people's should observe their religions.. She's not a Christian, she's a h**ocrite.. Edit: spacing

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NobodysBabyDaddy − NTA. She is being unreasonable, and trying to deny you the right to have different religious beliefs. And the fact that your dad won't stand up for you is extremely troubling as well. Is there any possibility that you could live with your mom?

wolftongirl21 − NTA! This breaks my heart. I'd call social services on your step mom. This is a form of abuse, and your dad allowing it to happen is absolutely ridiculous. Please talk to someone that can help you navigate this situation.

KingsRansom79 − NTA but your Dad totally is. Protect your peace! Ask your mom to go back to court about visitation and allow you to tell the judge why you don’t want to be at their home. Purposely feeding you pork is a indefensible. You shouldn’t have to cave on your religious convictions to appease them.

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These Redditors called out the stepmother’s cruelty and the father’s inaction, urging OP to seek help. But do their NTA verdicts fully address the complexity of her guilt and fear? This story’s got everyone fired up about faith and family boundaries.

This teen’s stand to keep her hijab on isn’t just defiance—it’s a cry for respect in a home that offers none. The stepmother’s actions and the father’s silence paint a toxic picture, but Reddit’s support shows OP’s not alone. How would you navigate a family pushing against your core beliefs? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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