AITA for cutting off my child financially for lying to me about her grades?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a cozy Georgia home, where proud parents beam over their daughter’s supposed 3.7 GPA, envisioning her thriving at her dream private university. The smell of sweet tea lingers as they scroll through her Instagram, chuckling at midweek party pics—freedom well-earned, they think. But the rug gets yanked out when her brother, a Georgia Tech freshman, spills the tea: she’s not soaring; she’s sinking with a 2.3 GPA and a failing class on the horizon.

Fury and betrayal crash over the family like a sudden summer storm. The parents, stung by her lies, pull all funding—$30,000 a semester—and now she’s blocked them on everything. Was cutting her off too harsh, or a fair lesson in trust? The mom’s heart twists with doubt, and readers, you’ll feel the weight of this one too.

‘AITA for cutting off my child financially for lying to me about her grades?’

My child is 21 and a junior at an expensive private university. My husband and I pay for **everything**; her food, her housing, or tuition. Our only condition was that she had to maintain her grades to at least a 3.0 and she had to do a summer job/internship every summer. We even gave her a $100/week allowance!

This would be a good time to note that we live in Georgia. We have the Zell Miller scholarship and she got accepted into UGA, which means she would’ve had her entire tuition paid for. She begged us to let her go to her dream school and because financials weren’t that big a problem to us, we relented, with the conditions listed above.

She’s been telling us (her father and I) that she has a 3.7 and is doing amazing for the last 3 years. We were so proud (it never crossed our mind that she could be lying). She would also frequently post herself on her Instagram at parties in the middle of the week and drinking with friends, but because she was doing fine academically, we just let her have her freedom.

Anyways her brother is a freshman at GA Tech. He ended his first semester with a 2.8, putting him at risk for losing his scholarship. He told us he was only on track for a 3.2 this semester (too low to maintain the scholarship). We asked him why he wasn’t doing great and that he needs to be more focused on his academics when he got defensive and told us that “at least he wasn’t failing like his sister”.

This is going over the character limit so to make a long story short, our daughter has been lying the entire time about her grades. She has a 2.3 GPA and it on track for failing a class this semester. My husband and I were furious, and told her that because she wants to lie and deceive us like that, we were no longer going to fund her school at all.

If she still wants to go there, she’s going to need to take out loans, and we’re cutting her off completely (total cost is about $30,000 a semester). She was heartbroken and begged us for another chance, and that she was too afraid to come clean. Being afraid is one thing, but she should’ve told us and maybe could’ve provided resources to help her. She lied to us to our faces and made us out to be fools.

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This was a week and a half ago, and she blocked us on everything. My husband thinks she’s acting like a spoiled brat, but I starting to feel really bad. We had a great relationship before this and talked at least twice a week. Our husband thinks she’ll come around, but I still have a horrible feeling in my stomach.. Are we the assholes for cutting our daughter off?

A daughter’s deception over grades can sting like a wasp at a picnic, leaving parents torn between discipline and support. This Georgia family’s clash highlights trust’s fragility—her 2.3 GPA, hidden for years, mocks the 3.7 she claimed. She partied, they trusted; now they’re livid, and she’s cut off. Both sides dig in: parents feel fooled, while she, scared to confess, faces loans or dropout.

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This mirrors a broader issue: college kids crumbling under pressure. A 2022 study by the National Center for Education Statistics notes 30% of undergrads struggle below a 2.5 GPA, often from stress or poor adjustment (see: nces.ed.gov). Freedom’s thrill—parties, new friends—can derail focus, especially when parents expect excellence.

Dr. John Duffy, a clinical psychologist, weighs in from a 2021 Psychology Today article: “Young adults fear parental judgment, so they hide academic slips, but honesty opens doors to support.” Here, her silence blocked help—tutoring, counseling—while parents’ rage risks a rift. A sit-down, sans yelling, could unpack why she floundered: stress, bad habits, or deeper issues?

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Try this: reinstate partial aid—say, housing—tied to a 3.0 goal, plus mandatory check-ins or a tutor. Balance accountability with a lifeline. Cool heads and open ears might mend trust, not torch it. See more at psychologytoday.com for Dr. Duffy’s take on family dynamics.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s crew chimed in with spicy takes—some back the parents, others wag fingers all around. Here’s the rundown, served with a side of snark: can lies and loans coexist, or is this family toast?

Nephyllem − NTA, she straight up lied to you and is trying to guilt you into this pattern again. If you want to give her a chance, tell her she will have to take out the loans for a year and if she improves her grades only then will you DISCUSS giving her a bank roll again. In all honesty though I wouldn’t bank roll her if she behaves this way. My family pod for my schooling and I maintained a 3.0 minimum as part of the deal.

SuspiciousFun − All I’m going to say is that something similar happened with my sister - super smart, went to an Ivy League school with no scholarship, parents paid out of pocket for tuition and living expenses. She got a taste of freedom and started partying/doing drugs, etc.

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She was too afraid to admit to my parents she wasn’t doing well academically, so she lied. My parents found out when a letter of academic probation was mailed home. Long story short they started down the path you’re on - they threatened to cut her off, lots of yelling about lying, basically a familial WWIII.

They started with her cell phone (this was back in the v early 2000s) and spending money and she basically carved them out of her life. After that, she moved out of the dorms, lived in some really horrific living situations because she wouldn’t take money from them (by that point they just didn’t want her living in squalor so they offered to give her money for an apt).

Before she had her first kid, they talked maybe twice a year. She’d call for birthdays after she knew they were asleep. She’s never come home again for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. People ask me how many siblings I have and I forget to count her because she’s removed herself from our family.

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So, while you’re absolutely NTA for cutting her off, that doesn’t mean you’re going to end up with a solid relationship with your daughter. I understand you’re both disappointed, but it may be worth having an actual discussion with her about the root cause was it just poor decision making skills, does she have a substance abuse problem, why was she so afraid to ask for help, etc.

before making any decisions. I don’t know what kind of student she was in HS, but I was a NHS student, graduated in the top 10% of my class with a 3.9 GPA and have historically sailed through school without any effort, and still came close to failing a couple classes in undergrad.

It wasn’t until a professor in graduate school noticed some discrepancies that it came out that I most likely have dyslexia. I still haven’t gotten it formally diagnosed because - what’s the point now that I’m an adult? I say this to show that even with a smart kid who’s never touched a d**g in her life, I struggled in college and I was grateful both my parents

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and I learned from the mistakes they and my sister made when she was in college. You may want to take a step back and reassess before making any drastic decisions that may irreparably impact your relationship with your daughter.. Edit: thank you kind stranger for the gold ❤️

[Reddit User] − NTA. I feel like Reddit tends to be biased towards these kind of questions and will try to claim that you’re horrible parents for cutting her off, but she’s been lying to you two for *years*. She never even came clean; she only found out because her brother tattled. You’re well within your right to cut her off financially because of this.

That being said, consider the relationship with your daughter. I’m not saying you should pay for it and in fact, you probably shouldn’t, just based on the deceit. Just keep in mind that this can severely affect your relationship for the future. If GPA isn’t vital for her next steps after college, you might damage your relationship out of just out of principal.

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actualdisasterbi − ESH So, you and your husband’s solution to your daughter failing was to put her into a situation that makes her failing 10x more likely? If your daughter wasn’t able to make it through the last three years while she had your financial support and minimal things to worry about, what makes y’all think she’ll be able to do so much better now that she has even more on her plate to worry about??

I get being mad at her for lying (My freshman year of college was when my parents discovered the sink hole I had gotten myself into with my first credit cards and all of the lying I had been doing to cover that) - but yanking funding is just going to make the issue even worse.

I would recommend having a mature, sit-down conversation without angry words and empty threats, but I fear y’all have already done a significant amount of damage here. (ESH for rating because the daughter f**ked up, no way around that - but she’s a stupid kid. Y’all are supposed to be the mature adults)

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Kyutekyu − INFO. Has she told you *why* she's failing? Is it because she's stopped caring or perhaps some mental issues?

artemisu − ESH - While what your daughter did sucks, and she deserves the consequences, she probably isn't lying that she was scared to tell you what was happening. That hints to the fact that your dynamic might not be a healthy one. You also said 'she made us out to be fools.' It sounds like you are less concerned about her education and more about the appearance of a perfect family.

Sprungkopf08 − NTA. Her brother knew she was failing, so clearly she was only trying to keep it a secret from you. A little naive of you to think she can post pics of her partying all the time and you didn't once think to look into it at a cost to yourself of $60k/yr, but she may have been a great juggler in high school and played it off like she could still do it.

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Ummah_Strong − YTA. The punishment (30,000+ dollars in debt, or drop out and have no education whatsoever) doesn't fit the crime. She was afraid of exactly this reaction, or the reaction her brother received. You did not support your son.

You 'asked him why he wasn't doing great and told him to be more focused on academics'. How do u know he isn't trying his hardest? How do you know he is just struggling to adjust to university from high school, a HUGE TRANSITION where MOST PEOPLE are a significant grade drop.

If you offered your son no resources when he came to you, just judgements, why do you pretend your daughter would have been received any differently?. Also: you cut your child off. Why shouldn't she cut you off in return?

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[Reddit User] − ESH. She had never failed in her life. She tried to cover it up while also experiencing freedom.. You had a relationship, but not one with a solid history of how to communicate when s**t goes bad.. She lied.. You guys threatened to cut her off financially. Does one really equal the other?

Not-The-Corkscrew − ESH. Your daughter is obviously an a**hole in this situation and that doesn’t need much explaining, lying isn’t cool. Your son’s an a**hole in this situation because snitching on your siblings isn’t cool. As parents you and your husband are assholes in this situation for spoiling your daughter. Again assholes in this situation, not trying to offend.

These are hot opinions from Reddit, but do they nail reality? Maybe she’s a party pro dodging books, or maybe college cracked her confidence. You decide!

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This tale of grades, lies, and a cash cutoff leaves a Georgia family at a crossroads—parents betrayed, a daughter adrift, and a bond teetering. Cutting her off taught a lesson, but at what cost? A heart-to-heart might’ve saved trust, yet the deed’s done. They’re left with silence, doubts, and a $30,000 question. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Drop your thoughts—did the parents overreact, or was she too sneaky? Share your take and help unravel this family fiasco!

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