AITA for telling a mom on my flight I did not think she handled her kids tantrums well?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture this: you’re buckled into a cramped airplane seat, the hum of engines rumbling through the cabin, already dreading an 8-hour overnight flight across the Atlantic for a must-do work trip. The air feels thick with new travel protocols, and sleep is your only hope—until a toddler’s piercing wails shatter the silence, relentless from takeoff to landing. Our poor traveler, earplugs failing, watched a mom grapple with her child’s distress, tossing out shiny new toys from “Grandma” to no avail. Exhaustion hung heavy, tempers simmered, and a single eye-roll sparked a fiery clash. Was this a fair critique or a cranky overstep? Let’s dive into this turbulent tale!

The stakes were high—sleepless passengers, a stressed-out mom, and a post-flight showdown that left jaws dropping. Our traveler held their tongue for hours, but when another passenger gushed praise for the mom’s “patience,” the dam broke. A blunt opinion flew out, questioning her choices and igniting a debate about parenting, travel, and empathy in a pandemic. Buckle up as we unpack this mid-air mess and explore what it means to share tight spaces in tricky times.

‘AITA for telling a mom on my flight I did not think she handled her kids tantrums well?’

I was forced to take a flight across the Atlantic for work, which by itself put me in a fairly sour mood.. ​A mom flying with a toddler was seated across from me. The kid had really hard time adjusting to the changing pressure and ended up crying non-stop from takeoff to landing (an 8 hour overnight flight).

Needless to say, everyone in the vicinity was absolutely exhausted and got no sleep. My ear plugs were barely any help - kid got some healthy lungs.. ​I kept my mouth shut throughout the flight because no one asked for my opinion but I will admit I was judging the parent.

It was clear this was a social visit, midway through the mom took the kid's new toys out and kept trying to distract the kid with 'Christmas presents from grandma.'. ​When we landed another woman decided to pipe in and compliment the mom on her patience and 'handling the situation so well', which she as a mom herself understood 'because it's so hard to travel when they are so young'.

Not going to lie, I rolled my eyes so hard that even with the mask on it was clear I was in disagreement.. ​She asked me why I'm making the face and I responded that since she asked, I and probably most others don't think the mom handled the situation well at all.

We've all had almost no sleep, it's a hard enough flight to take without the new protocols (and no sleep). I then asked why she had to bring her kid to Europe in the first place, which is probably not a good idea even during a normal year when he's that young.

Some shouting from the mom and her newfound friend ensured but I just shook my head and took the first opportunity to head for the exit.. ​. I'm usually not snippy with people but hours of non-stop screaming got under my skin. AITA?.

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EDIT: in case you're wondering I had to make an in-person submission with a regulator in the US which requires being physically present in the country. Thank you American bureaucracy, unwavering even during these wonderful times.. ​

EDIT 2: I'm having a blast talking to all the entitled parents here. A few things that I know will enrage you, but truth hurts as you know.. 1. Traveling with a small kid when you know (a) the pressure changes will cause the kid significant discomfort and (b) you'll affect everyone around you is extremely selfish. It's intentionally hurting your kid, and makes other miserable, and it's 100% your choices that lead to the situation.

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2. People will judge you for your selfishness. If you feel ashamed of your kid being disruptive, good. You should be. 3. No one owes you special accommodation because you have a kid. It's your choice, live with it. Others are entitled to feeling unhappy about the consequences of your entitlement.

4. Toddlers have no business on a plane. They have no concept of death, so if your excuse is 'last chance of seeing someone' as folks have posted, leave the kid with the other parent. Or bring them with you,

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but then don't you dare complain others are unhappy with your choice. See #3. With this, I'm peace-ing out as I know I'm heading for the front page and also a ban from the mods from arguing in the comments. Happy new year to all YTAs.

This high-flying drama reveals a classic clash of nerves and needs. A toddler’s cries on a plane can test anyone’s patience, especially on an 8-hour overnight haul. The mom faced a tough gig—pressure changes hurt little ears, and toys didn’t cut it. Our traveler, sleep-deprived and snappy, aired a valid frustration but landed in hot water by questioning her choice to fly. Both sides have a case: parenting’s no picnic, yet shared spaces demand consideration.

This tussle mirrors a broader issue—navigating public spaces with kids. According to a 2019 study by the International Air Transport Association, 65% of passengers report stress from crying children on flights, yet parents face limited options for travel. Dr. Janet Taylor, a clinical psychiatrist, notes in a 2021 Today article (today.com), “Traveling with young children requires preparation—ear plugs, snacks, or timing flights for sleep can ease tension.” Her insight highlights the mom’s missed chances to prep, like using a pacifier or screen time.

Dr. Taylor’s advice points to balance: parents can plan ahead, but fellow travelers might pack empathy too. A little humor—imagine if earplugs came with every ticket!—could lighten the load. For solutions, parents might consult pediatric tips for ear pressure (e.g., sucking on a bottle) from sites like the American Academy of Pediatrics (aap.org). Passengers? Pop in noise-canceling headphones and breathe deep—shared spaces call for shared grace.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and humorous! Did our traveler nail it, or miss the mark? The crowd’s split, with some cheering the honesty and others crying foul. Check out these raw reactions:

[Reddit User] − NTA they did ask for your opinion not your fault it wasn't what they wanted to hear. And honestly i agree with you and 8 hour flight unless an emergency for a toddler even during normal circumstances is to much. But during a pandemic nope nope nope. I'm a mother myself but eight hours of constant screaming would be nightmare lol. I feel you

BenjiCat17 − Unless the kid was the one dying and needed medical care in a foreign country why was she traveling to Europe with a baby during a pandemic. Everyone saying he’s the ahole because he doesn’t have kids, would you take a baby into a small room with 100 strangers that has recycled air for eight hours in a pandemic?

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If that’s the type of parent you are because that’s the type of parent she is then you also shouldn’t be a parent. NTA. I would also suggest that you don’t ask questions you aren’t able to handle the answers too.

lovebeinganasshole − NTA. Don't travel with a toddler during a pandemic for Christmas. How hard is that. Second, if you are stupid enough to travel with a toddler make sure they're tired and the flight is during their regular sleep time, give them a pacifier to suck on, and omg give into the almighty electronic device.

This_Rom_Bites − NTA You were asked; you answered. You're entitled to your view and your feelings are valid. I feel for the mother and child, too, but I can't think of many things more miserable than a transatlantic flight with a screaming kid that isn't yours and just doesn't let up.

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ThisBringsOutTheBest − nta. and anyone who says yta because you ‘obviously’ don’t have kids yourself are probably just as bad a parent as that woman 😂. people act like they have absolutely no part in how s**tty their kids react to things 🙄

Sheepoflunacy − ESH. She shouldn't have brought a toddler on a plane during a pandemic at all, much less asked your opinion after you made it clear how you felt without saying it verbally, and you need to work on having some empathy, you weren't the only one suffering in this situation and you have no idea what that woman's circumstances are.

I understand its insanely frustrating (and again, what she did was wrong too) but instead of walking away and moving on with your life you made her feel worse so that you could feel better. Also it seems like you don't actually want advice/opinions here since all you're doing is arguing with everyone as to why you were right/NTA, just sayin'.. Edit: a word

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Syric13 − ESH, especially after your edits. Like, what is the point of the 4th bullet point in the edit? You sound like a giant a**hole with those edits and you make it sound like you are smarter than everyone else. You aren't. And you will never be. So drop the holier than thou attitude.

We live in a society and shared spaces. Sometimes those shared spaces have children in them. They have every right to exist in the same area as you. They bought a ticket. They get to fly. You want a child-free existence? Fine. But you can't have one in public. You can wish for one.

But for every child that screams on an airplane I can point out an a**hole adult who catcalls, berates, or harrasses others for no reason. The mom in question should have had done some research and provided gum, suckers, or anything to help with her child's flight. So she sucks. But good god, you CF adults are just as bad and entitled as the parents you rally against.

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msbx76 − NTA and everyone who thinks you are needs to read and reread those edits a few times cause nobody forced them to have a kid and then take it out in public when it isn’t trained correctly. My dog does better on planes.

Edit: I never said I was cf, I want children but if my child isn’t ready to go on a plane yet then they won’t. Just because someone is “part of society” doesn’t mean its their right to fly on a plane. And I only said “it” cause I couldn’t remember the gender. You people assume I’m “cf” and “hate children cause I said “it”” when in all reality I just agree that child shouldn’t of been on that plane!!!

The child’s ears probably were hurting and they were scared, that’s 100% that parents fault and everyone else shouldn’t suffer! Also to anyone saying you don’t “train” a child, I’m guessing your child isn’t potty trained yet? Dumbasses

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venus-lvr − NTA and I can’t stand all the people in these comments. If your kid will cry for EIGHT STRAIGHT HOURS then literally don’t take them on a transatlantic flight!!! That is such a long time, that poor child must have been in so much pain not only from the pressure changes but from screaming their throat raw!!! It’s literally cruel to put a child through that.

Everyone saying Y T A is talking about how you should just get used to it, but that kid shouldn’t have been put in a situation so distressing and painful that they cry for several consecutive hours. Y’all clearly care less about the kid and more about the parent dragging them along to their benefit and at the cost of the kid’s comfort.

[Reddit User] − I’m torn on this one, tbh. You probably would’ve been better off dropping it and not responding, but she DID ask you, soooo... But I get the frustration. I’d be willing to pay extra if they offered child-free flights (nothing like being woken up at 3am on a red eye to a kid screaming the words to Let It Go).

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These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality? Maybe the truth lies in the messy middle—parenting’s tough, flights are tougher, and a little laughter might just keep us sane!

This mid-air saga leaves us pondering: a mom battled a toddler’s tantrums, a traveler snapped, and both clashed in a sleep-starved showdown. It’s a messy mix of personal choice, public spaces, and pandemic pressures. Empathy might’ve smoothed the edges, but preparation could’ve saved the day. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Would you cheer the mom’s effort, back the traveler’s gripe, or just pray for noise-canceling magic? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this turbulent tale together!

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