AITA for refusing to remove a photo of my husband and myself before we attended a wedding?

Imagine a crisp weekend morning, the sun glinting off a stunning hotel fountain as a couple, dressed to impress, poses for a quick snapshot. The husband rocks a sharp suit, his wife dazzles in a burgundy cocktail dress, and the bellman clicks away—pure joy in a fleeting moment. They’re headed to a cousin’s wedding, but this slice of bliss unfolds at their hotel, far from the venue’s hustle. Expectations were clear: no photos during the ceremony or reception, a rule they followed with care.

But the next day, a storm brews! The husband’s aunt fires off a text, demanding the fountain photo vanish—apparently, it’s too close to the wedding vibe. Confusion swirls as other guests flood social media with venue shots, tagging the bride and groom. Was this couple’s pre-wedding pic a faux pas, or is this a family flap gone overboard? Let’s wade into the fountain of drama!

‘AITA for refusing to remove a photo of my husband and myself before we attended a wedding?’

This past weekend we attended my husband's cousin's wedding, it was in the same state but not near where we live so we stayed at a hotel near the venue. This hotel has a beautiful fountain out in front, while we waited for our vehicle to be brought around we had a bellman take our picture in front of the fountain.

Neither my husband nor myself were part of the wedding party, we were simply guests at the wedding. Husband was dressed in a suit and tie and I was in a burgundy cocktail dress. The bride and groom did request that no one take pictures during the ceremony or the reception. We both honored this request, in fact we took no pictures at the venue at all.

I noticed several people taking photos at the venue before the ceremony and between the ceremony and reception. The following day I shared the photo on social media of my husband and myself taken at our hotel before we went to the wedding. I did not mention the wedding or use the wedding hashtag or anything.

There have been several people posting photos on social media taken at the venue and using the wedding hashtag and even tagging the bride and groom. My husband's Aunt has texted me asking me to remove the photo because we are wearing what we wore to the wedding in the photo and her daughter (the bride) wants to share the first wedding photos. 

I said I didn't see a problem because our photo was not taken at the venue and was not linked to wedding or the bride and groom, and besides there are dozens of other photos that were taken at the venue and tagged with the wedding or the bride and groom.

Including the brides own brother who was in the wedding party and he has posted at least a dozen photos. Aunt says she is trying to get them all taken down but she doesn't even know everyone who has posted photos. . So AITA for not removing the photo of us before we went to the wedding?.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

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A simple hotel snapshot spiraling into a family showdown? It’s a quirky mix of etiquette and emotion! This couple honored the bride and groom’s no-photo rule at the venue, snapping their pic hours earlier at the hotel—unlinked to the wedding. The aunt’s demand to remove it, driven by the bride’s wish for first photos, feels like a stretch, especially with venue shots already online.

Wedding etiquette often hinges on respect, but boundaries matter too. Dr. Emily Post, etiquette expert, notes in a Brides article, “Guests should honor explicit requests, but unstated expectations can’t bind them” ( source). Here, the couple complied with the stated rule, yet the aunt’s push—later revealed as pressure from a friend—muddied the waters. This ties to a broader issue: unclear social media norms post-wedding. A 2024 survey by WeddingWire shows 68% of couples prefer controlling initial posts, yet only 40% communicate this  (source).

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Advice: Keep the photo up— it’s your moment, untagged and venue-free. If drama lingers, mute the aunt’s view or chat calmly with the bride.

Check out how the community responded:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and hilarious! Straight from the thread, these views unpack the fountain fiasco:

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Inevitable-You9141 - NTA. I can see that they wanted to be the first ones but as you stated it’s not at the venue per their demands so I don’t see a problem with you posting a picture you took before the wedding.

TemporaryMeringue714 - NTA. Aunt is taking this too seriously instead of enjoying this time. Just change the privacy settings on the picture so she can't see it.

GM_Pax - # NTA The specific request given was to not **TAKE** pictures during the Ceremony or the Reception. Which you honored, to the letter. The Bride and Groom, if they wanted to be the very first people to post any pictures taken that were even slightly related to the wedding, **should have said so**.

A simple '*We want to be the first people to post pictures taken on our wedding day - even if you take a picture long before the ceremony, please delay posting it until we've posted all of ours.*'. But they didn't, and as you described, **lots** of people are already posting their pictures.

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Sea-Ad3724 - NTA it’s a ridiculous request. Just because you’re wearing the same outfits as the ones at the wedding doesn’t give them the right to ask you to take down the photo. You honored their requests not to take pictures at the actual wedding. You’re perfectly within your tights to politely say no and then ignore them if they keep asking

TrayMc666 - NTA. The aunt is being frankly ridiculous. You weren’t at the wedding. You were at your hotel, wearing your clothes, and you had your picture taken. It belongs to you and you can do whatever you like with it.

stannenb - NTA. You were polite enough to honor the couple's request that their ceremony and reception be an exclusion zone for all but official photography. Retroactively expanding that to 'at a different hotel before the wedding even started because you were wearing clothes you wore to the wedding' is simply bizarre.

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harleybidness - NTA. Requests/demands to take down the photo's is intrusive and inappropriate.

MicIsOn - NTA this is a freaking ridiculous request.

cookies_squeaky - NTA. That's an absolutely ridiculous request. Personally, my petty self would take down that picture and post a new one wearing the exact same outfits but out for dinner somewhere, because what? You can't post a pic of an outfit you wore to a wedding that you wore again on a different evening?

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DynkoFromTheNorth - Tell her you'll seriously consider taking the photo down, but that she pulls her head out of her arsehole first.. NTA. She's being a h**ocrite, because I don't believe her about trying to contact everyone else who posted pictures.

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they hold water? Maybe the aunt needs a chill pill—or a fountain to cool off her photo-policing spree!

This tale of a hotel snapshot turned family feud bubbles with lessons on boundaries and misfires. The couple, clad in wedding finery, claimed a personal moment, only to face an aunt’s overzealous plea—until the bride and stepdad cleared the air. With selfies now fair game, the drama’s fizzled, but the ripples linger. Was this a reasonable stand or a courtesy slip? What would you do if your pre-wedding pic sparked a family splash? Dive in with your thoughts, feelings, and experiences below!

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The author has added to the article:

UPDATE The stepfather of the bride contacted me late today, the bride doesn't want my photo removed. Apparently the Aunt/MOB bestfriend took photos of the bride and bridesmaids before the wedding in their dresses and posted them on SM, members of the bridal party distracted her and gained access to her phone during the reception.

They deleted the photos not just from her SM accounts but from her phone. She was upset and she insisted that Aunt/MOB make everyone else remove any photos they had posted. Aunt/MOB felt pressured by her friend and began contacting people,

she ended having a major anxiety attack and ended up in urgent care this evening. Aunt/MOB has now cut contact with her friend, and friends and family have been told they are free to post selfies and similar photos from the wedding but asked not to post photos of the bride and groom.

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