AITA for calling out a coworker for not washing their hands?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a bustling office where coffee cups clink and keyboards hum, a young woman found herself at a crossroads over a plate of homemade lunch. The air was thick with the aroma of shared potlucks, but tension simmered when Becky, a coworker, reached for her food with unwashed hands. For our 24-year-old germophobe, this wasn’t just about a sandwich—it was a stand for hygiene in a world of shared spaces and unspoken rules.

Her discomfort sparked a heated moment, leaving the lunch table buzzing with whispers and raised eyebrows. Was calling out Becky’s hygiene habits a bold move or a social misstep? The office drama unfolded like a sitcom, pulling everyone into the messy clash of personal boundaries and workplace camaraderie, with Reddit users ready to weigh in on the chaos.

‘AITA for calling out a coworker for not washing their hands?’

I (24F) work in a fairly large casual office. One of my coworkers (22F - 'Becky') is a little lacking in the self care department. She often appears to have not showered and has a lot of dandruff and is constantly picking at her skin. She doesn't wear deodorant either.

To my knowledge, these things don't really bother other people, but I guess it's also not something that people would really feel comfortable talking about. Her lack of self care doesn't really bother me very much, I'm just a little bit of a germophobe.

We've been in the restroom at the same time a few times and she has consistently left without washing her hands. I know some people might not care very much about this, but it really bothers me. Sometimes she asks me for help with things at work and it makes me not want to touch her computer or mouse.

The main issue with this is lunch. A few people in the office eat lunch together and sometimes do potluck style lunches. Becky started joining when she got hired. I really hate sharing food with her, so I started abstaining from the potlucks and just bringing my own food. She then asked for some one day and reached toward my plate.

I got visibly uncomfortable and said no. Other people at lunch asked what the big deal was and I said I don't really like germs. They replied that everyone in participation washes their hands frequently, which then started the main problem. I said 'Well Becky doesn't, so I'd rather not share with her.'

Becky turned really red and left lunch early. After this, people told me that I was rude and shouldn't have said anything. I think that she should just wash her damn hands. Coworkers told me that I made a poor career move, but I just really hate germs! AITA for calling her out like this?

ADVERTISEMENT

Publicly addressing a coworker’s hygiene is like stepping into a minefield wearing flip-flops—tricky and bound to cause a stir. The OP faced a dilemma: protect her boundaries or preserve office harmony. Becky’s unwashed hands, especially when reaching for shared food, understandably triggered OP’s germaphobia. However, calling her out publicly risked embarrassment, especially if Becky’s hygiene habits stem from a medical condition, like sensitive skin, as one commenter suggested.

This situation reflects a broader issue: navigating personal boundaries in communal spaces. According to a 2020 CDC report, proper handwashing reduces workplace illness transmission by up to 40% (CDC Handwashing Guidelines). Yet, addressing hygiene diplomatically is key. Dr. John Swartzberg, a public health expert, notes, “Hygiene conversations are sensitive but necessary for community health” (Berkeley Wellness). Here, OP’s concern was valid, but her delivery could’ve been softer.

ADVERTISEMENT

The opposing views—OP’s germaphobia versus Becky’s possible unawareness or condition—highlight a clash of perspectives. OP prioritized her comfort, while Becky may feel unfairly targeted. A private chat could’ve clarified intentions without public shaming. Workplaces thrive on mutual respect, so addressing hygiene issues discreetly is often the better path.

For solutions, OP could apologize privately to Becky for the public call-out while gently raising her concerns. HR mediation, as suggested by a commenter, could also help. Encouraging office-wide hygiene reminders, like posters, fosters a neutral approach.

ADVERTISEMENT

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crew dove into this office drama like it was a potluck of opinions, serving up spicy takes and a dash of shade. From cheers for OP’s honesty to critiques of her public approach, the comments were a lively mix of support and sass. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

gorgeouswvr − I feel like this is controversial, but NTA. You should've really spoken to her in private about it so you are a tiny bit of an a**hole for that, but you were in an uncomfortable position and you explained yourself honestly. I feel like you should smooth things over with an apology to her privately though and tell her you should've spoken to her alone long ago rather than call her out.

[Reddit User] − NTA - She reached for your plate with her n**ty ass hands and they all somehow think that’s ok to do? Maybe now she’ll practice basic hygiene.

FitChickFourTwennie − NTA- she turned red because she was embarrassed, it’s gross to not wash your hands after using the restroom, it’s despicable to not wash your hands after using the washroom and afterwards eat from a potluck style lunch at work as if it’s normal. Hopefully she will learn her lesson.

ADVERTISEMENT

abyssalcrisis − ESH. You could have chosen a better time to mention it, but Becky really does need to wash her hands if she wants to share food with you.

xLadyLauriex − I went through a similar situation with a guy in work who wouldn’t shower. Our boss called a meeting to teach personal hygiene. I refused to sit there and said he should bring Terry into his office one on one instead of forcing everybody who is clean to listen to this s**t. You are NTA.

Ancalagon_Morn − HELL. NO.. NTA. It's already bad enough that she doesn't wash her hands and proceeds to touch doorhandles and whatnot but to have the audacity and just reach for other peoples food is i**olerable. She could have avoided this by adhering to a basic level of decency. Although I will say this:

ADVERTISEMENT

If you don't mind sharing with others who do wash their hands, you could have found a way to escape the situation without calling her out (you could have probably thought of some little white lie) and explain it to her in private later. This would have given her the chance to make adjustments without the shame.

That being said, if people knowing that she is unhygenic is embarrassing for her, she can just wash her hands. I'm not sure why this should affect your career, this is a breach of personal space which is not something you should have to tolerate. Your colleagues asked you for an explanation, you gave them one.

PaleMarionette − NTA. N**ty reached for your food with her poo poo hands, she's the a**hole.

ADVERTISEMENT

tigerlilystems − NTA you shouldn't even have to tell her to wash her hands in the first place. That is literally one of the first things you learn after being able to use the bathroom by herself. You could've done it at a better time in private, but honestly people who don't wash their hands after going to the f**king bathroom have made that decision themselves

Rooncake − NTA on the basis that she reached for your food without waiting for permission. You don't even need to explain why you don't want to share your food, if you say no she should respect that instead of waiting for an explanation (that someone else asked for but still.)

After your explanation she should've backed the f**k up quickly with a 'nevermind it's fine!' Instead of waiting for you to call her out. She knows quite well she's not among the people that wash their hands, what the hell kind of follow up was she expecting?

ADVERTISEMENT

She's also absolutely the a**hole for even attempting to share the potluck food or use communal things when she doesn't wash her hands, that's f**king inconsiderate and she's one of those people who helps a cold spread around the office. You have zero responsibilities for teaching a working adult how to be hygienic.

ringsgal − ESH. She often appears to have not showered and has a lot of dandruff and is constantly picking at her skin. She may have a skin condition that is aggravated by the soap in the bathroom. She may go back to her desk and use something else to 'sanitize' her hands.

I have to be super careful with what soaps I use as my skin, including my scalp, tends to break out, flake, and/or itch very easily. If you're truly concerned about her grooming habits, you should have had a private conversation (or ask HR to mediate a conversation) instead of calling her out in front of everyone..

ADVERTISEMENT

She then asked for some one day and reached toward my plate. Becky should have waited for an answer before reaching for your plate.. Other people at lunch asked what the big deal was Coworkers need to respect that 'no' is a complete sentence.

I know it's habit to ask why, especially in a friendly office environment. But if you don't want to share food, especially if you brought your own and were not contributing to the potluck, no one has any right to your food unless you offer it to them.

These Redditors didn’t hold back, with some slamming Becky’s “poo poo hands” and others urging OP to apologize privately. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?

ADVERTISEMENT

This office saga shows how quickly a small gesture—like reaching for a sandwich—can spark a big debate. OP’s germaphobia clashed with Becky’s habits, leaving both caught in a web of workplace etiquette. While hygiene matters, so does tact. The Reddit community offered a colorful mix of support and critique, but the real lesson lies in balancing honesty with kindness. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *