AITA for my response to my BiL complaining about how I stole his job?
In a cozy family dining room, where the clink of cutlery usually signals warmth, a 32-year-old female mechanic found herself at the center of an unexpected storm. Raised tinkering with engines alongside her late father, she’s carved out a thriving career in a male-dominated field, a badge of pride she wears with a grin. But during a family dinner, her unemployed brother in law soured the mood, blaming her and other women for “stealing” jobs like his.
When his pointed remarks escalated into a direct accusation, she fired back with a playful pun that had the table chuckling except for him. His abrupt exit and the family’s mixed reactions turned a light moment into a debate over respect and sensitivity. This Reddit tale dives into the clash of workplace pride, family dynamics, and the sting of outdated gender stereotypes.
‘AITA for my response to my BiL complaining about how I stole his job?’
This dinner table dust-up reveals the friction between personal pride and misplaced blame. The mechanic’s quick-witted response to her brother-in-law’s sexist jab was a deft way to deflect his hostility while keeping the mood light. His claim that women “stole” his job reflects a deeper frustration with his unemployment, but targeting her gender was both unfair and unproductive, especially given her proven skill in the field.
Dr. Joan C. Williams, a gender equity expert, notes, “Stereotypes about ‘men’s work’ persist, but competence, not gender, determines success in skilled trades” . His struggle to find work likely stems from market dynamics, not women “taking” jobs.
This incident ties into a broader issue: gender bias in traditionally male fields. A 2023 study by the Society for Human Resource Management found that 62% of women in male-dominated industries face subtle biases, like assumptions about their competence . The mechanic’s humor diffused tension, but her family’s call for an apology risks validating his misplaced anger over addressing his bias.
She could stand firm, explaining her joke was a response to an unprovoked attack, but a private chat with her brother-in-law might clarify her intent and encourage him to focus on upskilling rather than scapegoating.
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit users rallied behind the mechanic, praising her clever retort and slamming her brother-in-law’s sexist outburst. They argued his unemployment is his own challenge, not her fault, and his comments crossed a line that her mild joke didn’t.
Many criticized the family’s push for an apology, seeing it as enabling his self-pity and bias. The consensus was clear: her quip was a justified defense, and he needed to take responsibility for his job hunt rather than blaming women.
![[Reddit User] - NTA. BIL is hurting, decided to redirect his hurt at someone he thought was a safe target to poke at, found out that s**t don't fly. This is a standard problem in a bunch of jobs: that some folks think the job is theirs by default, and anyone not exactly like them who gets the job - regardless of qualifications- somehow stole it from them. Nope.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/283285c-06.png)
![[Reddit User] - NTA. BIL fired the first shot. You defended yourself.. Also it was nonsense.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/283285c-11.png)
This fiery family clash underscores the tension between standing up to bias and keeping the peace. The mechanic’s sharp wit met her brother-in-law’s outdated views head-on, but the fallout left her questioning her response. How would you handle a family member’s unfair jab at your career? Drop your thoughts below and let’s rev up the conversation about tackling stereotypes with humor and heart.
