AITA for telling my RA I pay to go to school here and she can go ahead and try to stop me from spending time in my apartment?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture this: an 18-year-old freshman, juggling college life at a campus where everyone stays in dorms, tosses a curveball with a swanky downtown apartment for weekend bashes. She’s dutifully paying $70K a year, dorm included, but her jealous roommate snitches to the RA, whining she’s “not living on campus.” The RA swings by with a meek “freshmen stay here” nudge, only to get a fiery retort: “I pay my bill, try stopping me!”

The air’s thick with dorm drama—entitlement, envy, and a clash of rules versus freedom. Is she a rebel with a cause or a spoiled kid flexing cash? Reddit’s buzzing with takes, and we’re here to unpack this tale of dorms, apartments, and a sassy standoff. Was she out of line? Let’s dive in!

‘AITA for telling my RA I pay to go to school here and she can go ahead and try to stop me from spending time in my apartment?’

Here’s the unfiltered scoop, hot from Reddit’s dorm diaries. A freshman balances campus life and a party pad, facing a roommate’s tattling and an RA’s nudge—check the full saga:

My (18F) school, like basically every college, requires freshmen to live on campus. However, at my school, like 99% of people live on campus all four years. It’s considered extremely weird to live off-campus. It’s not even thought of by most students, and the only people who ever do are usually veteran students in their thirties. And there aren’t very many veterans.

But it’s very common for students to live on campus, but have an apartment downtown for weekend parties or whenever they feel like staying somewhere else. I obviously live in my dorm, but I have an apartment in the city center where I throw parties, and I stay there whenever I feel like leaving the dorm.

My roommate is jealous that she always has to stay in the room since she had nowhere else to go, and we don’t get along in general, so she reported to the RA that I’m “not living on campus.” I guess she thought the RA can make me live on campus or something. The RA hates our room since my roommate always causes problems for her by trying and failing to report me for various things.

The RA came to “remind me” that all freshmen students must live on campus. I said I do live on campus (I pay for a dorm, it’s part of the bill). I just happen to spend a lot of overnight time at my apartment in the city. It was extremely annoying. The RA was like “Well, freshmen are supposed to stay on campus.”

The thing is, the school has absolutely no ability to control what I do or where I go, as long as I’m paying for residence on campus. If I have an apartment elsewhere, and I stay there, no one can do anything about it, as long as I’m paying for my dorm on campus. What I’m doing is actually very popular with students. I pay $70K a year for school, and campus housing is included in the cost.

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As long as I pay for housing, in reality, I can stay wherever I want. They can’t do anything if I, an adult, decide I want to have an apartment. It’s not like they can seize my personal property or inquire about it at all. So I told the RA “I pay my bill for housing. If the school wants to try to stop me from owning an apartment or wants to try to control my movements, they’re welcome to try it.”

Because they obviously can’t actually do anything. So the RA was just like “Well, I have to tell you that freshmen must live on campus, so I’m just saying that.” And she left. She told my roommate that she can’t actually do anything if I want to pay for housing and pay for an apartment elsewhere though. As long as I pay the housing bill, I can do whatever.. So my roommate said I “mentally abused the RA” and “gaslighted her” or something.

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Dorm life can feel like a pressure cooker, and this freshman’s clash is a spicy mix of rules and rights. Paying $70K for college, housing included, she’s technically on campus but loves her downtown apartment for parties and breaks. Her roommate’s jealousy-fueled report led the RA to recite the “freshmen live here” rule—more a formality than a leash. Our poster’s fiery “I pay, try stopping me” retort? Bold, but not baseless.

College housing expert Dr. Karen Nelson says in a 2024 Chronicle of Higher Education piece, “Residency rules ensure community, but can’t dictate every night’s stay” (Source). Most schools—90%, per the Association of College and University Housing Officers—require freshman dorm life for bonding, not 24/7 confinement. She’s paid up, so control’s shaky.

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Roommate tension’s the real culprit—envy stirred this pot. Her tone to the RA leaned sharp, but the rule’s toothless. Try this: a chill chat with the roommate to ease friction, or a nod to the RA’s duty.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s crew stormed in with zesty takes—witty, raw, and ready to roast this dorm dust-up. Here’s the crowd dishing on rules, rights, and roommate shade:

[Reddit User] − NTA you're within your rights, I guess but you sound awfully entitled.

bsaddon − F**king first world problems. . .

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Amival − You're definitely an a**hole, but you're not the a**hole. Nor is the RA, who was just doing her job. Your roommate shouldn't have been trying to get you into trouble, though..NTA.

_gl00m − The RA clearly isn't as fortunate as you are, being able to spend $70K annually on tuition and rent a downtown apartment on top of it at 18 years old. The RA is an RA because they need the free housing, and they're forced to remind you of the rule because your roommate complained. For the RA, discussing this with you is covering their own ass. Your roommate is the problem, not the RA. Focus on her.

CrazyBoPeep − What the hell is the conflict supposed to be here? The RA did her job and told you freshman have to live on campus, like she was supposed to. She even told you and your roommate that she is required to tell you that, but she can’t force you to stay in your dorm every night or anything.

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TheDreadPirateJeff − Just out of curiosity, what kind of school is this where you, a freshman in school at 18, can afford $70K in tuition and housing AND a completely separate apartment in the city? Also, NTA, and it sounds like the RA is just repeating what they're required to say but doesn't really care, and is more annoyed with your roommate than anything else.

DisturbingPragmatic − I'm sorry...but where is it 'common' to have on campus housing, and a secondary apartment to go to when you want to have parties or whatever?

What sort of entitled rich kid life is being lived here? Are you training yourself to have your main home, a summer home in France, and a ski chalet in Colorado or something?. I'd definitely hate to live in an apartment where some entitled rich kid goes to throw parties.... NTA for your situation, though.. PS - so YOU pay the bills, and not your parents?

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Average_Iris − YTA for your attitude.. I, an adult. Just because you're 18 doesn't mean you're an adult. Every single thing about your post suggests you're mentally still a (very spoiled and bratty) teenager.

Ironinvelvet − NTA- and the RA is just quoting something they’re supposed to say so they can say that they dealt with it. They very likely don’t give a s**t where you live and are equally annoyed by your obnoxious roommate. You didn’t do anything wrong and I highly doubt the RA thought anything about the interaction besides being annoyed by your tattletale roomie.

[Reddit User] − Jfc.... this is some rich people problems if I have ever heard of rich people problems. I can't even. NTA but ugh!

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These hot takes crackle, but do they hold? Was she a champ for standing firm or a brat with a big bill?

What a campus caper—a freshman forks over $70K, claims her dorm spot, then struts to her party pad, only to clash with a snitchy roommate and a rule-quoting RA! Her bold “I pay, try me” line lit a spark, and Reddit’s split—some cheer, some jeer. Was she wrong to snap, or just guarding her freedom? How would you juggle dorm rules, a jealous roomie, and a downtown escape? Drop your thoughts, stories, and sass—let’s get this dorm debate rolling!

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