AITA for not wanting my husband in the room while I’m giving birth?

Jonathan Hours
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Imagine the countdown to a high-risk triplet birth—nerves jangling like a rattled mobile, a mom-to-be braced for a C-section, and a doctor’s warning about complications buzzing in her ears. Our heroine, bed-bound and staring down a whirlwind of risk, tells her husband she’d rather go it alone in the delivery room. His heart sinks, and he retreats to his gaming cave, leaving her to knock feebly on the door, guilt tugging at her gut.

This isn’t a rom-com pregnancy—it’s a tense, high-stakes saga where love, fear, and three tiny lives collide. She’s since opened the door to him after a tearful talk, but the sting lingers. Was she wrong to want a solo moment? Reddit’s got opinions, and we’re here to unpack this emotional labor—dive in with us!

‘AITA for not wanting my husband in the room while I’m giving birth?’

Here’s the raw deal, straight from Reddit’s heart. A mom grapples with a risky triplet birth, a husband’s hurt, and a last-minute shift—check out the full story:

Now, don't get me wrong, if this was a normal pregnancy during a normal time I'd want his in 100% but... I'm giving birth to triplets in about three to four weeks. It's a very high-risk pregnancy. I plan on having a C-section and getting induced if the **babies** doesn't come in 3 weeks.

The doctor told us that with all the complications, it would be good if I didn't have many people in the room. My husband was on the call when he said that and assumed it meant it would be just me and him. After the call, I explained that with all the complications I wanted it to be just me.

This was yesterday and he has locked himself in his gaming room and hasn't left. I am bed bound, so I only got up a few times to ask him to come out.. AITA for wanting him to wait in the waiting room while I give birth?.

EDIT & UPDATE : (for clarity) 1. Theres a very high risk one of the babies will come out... Not okay. Honestly, the babies were not planned and it was the result of a broken condom. I had never planned to have children due to medical reasons, but I always wanted one and decided not to abort.

2. My husband has a history of panic attacks and puked once at the sight of my tapon on the floor once when the dog got everything everywear once last year.

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Last night my husband came in and we had a very long, very emotional talk about the day I give birth. I am going to let him in the room, even if I'm still not 100% comfortable, because he really does want to be there while they are being born. Thank you all for your judgements (except for the people who privately sent me a message telling me to burn in hell, maybe go take a look at yourself if you do that sort of thing)

Giving birth to triplets is no stroll in the park—it’s a high-wire act with extra stakes. This mom, facing a C-section and potential complications, initially wanted a solo delivery room, citing stress and her husband’s past panic attacks and queasiness. His retreat to the gaming room screams hurt, but her late shift to let him in shows love bending under pressure. A tough call in a tense time!

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Dr. Sarah Buckley, a birth expert, notes in a 2023 article, “A mother’s comfort in labor can lower stress hormones, aiding safety” (Source). High-risk births like triplets—where 60% face preterm issues, per the March of Dimes (Source)—amplify stress. Mom’s fear of hubby’s panic clashing with her focus tracks with that.

His longing to witness his kids’ arrival is valid, but her need for calm ruled at first. Post-talk, she’s balancing both—a win! Try this: a birth plan with him near, but ready to step out if panic flares. Therapy could ease his nerves too.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s squad swooped in with hot takes—sharp, heartfelt, and a little messy. Here’s the crowd weighing in on this birth room battle, with sass and wisdom galore:

mollyec − INFO: why don't you want your husband to be there? Your husband, I presume, wants to support you and be present for the birth of y'all's children. They are his kids too, and he has a right to be there, and he probably wants to make sure you are taken care of. Is there a specific reason you don't want him around?

strikingfirefly − NAH. Even if it was a normal pregnancy, I think that if you don't want someone in the room for a birth they don't get to be in the room. But I also absolutely understand why it's upsetting to him.

He's missing the birth of his children and he gets go sit out in the waiting room worrying about all these possible complications rather than being with you. I don't entirely understand why you don't want him in the room though. Are you worried his presence will increase the chance of complications or stress you out or...? Just curious.

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Vast_Lecture − ESH: I was debating on commenting but I need to say this. The toxicity on this sub to all males and fathers is completely disgusting and just plain wrong. Comments that he is throwing a tantrum are disqualifying this man's right to be upset. If I was a man and father, I was just sprung four weeks before the birth of my triplets that I wasn't going to be in the room I would be upset, hurt, and devastated.

She needed to bring this up before the ninth hour. He shouldn't; be vilified for wanting to be by himself. I know a lot of adults who take time to sort through their feelings before having an adult conversation. Would people rather him come to her calm cool and collected or loud, poppy and angry? OP you have every right to decide who you want in your delivery to make it stress-free and healthy for you.

That being said, we live in a world that every decision has consequences. You don't get to control how he feels about your decision. He may resent you but that is a consequence of your choice. The only decision you have is for your own actions and emotions. You needed to have this conversation about how you would feel about him being in the room.

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This man probably spent the last couple of months being excited to be a father and see his children born. You are taking that away from him, that does not matter if the reasons are valid. I suggest marriage counseling because you two will need to prepare to be good co-parents at the least if he decided he cannot forgive you or work through it. I call it ESH because this situation just sucks. No one is really wrong but the situation, on the whole, is wrong.

Notmyname2000 − YTA. These are his kids too. He should be there for the birth. If the Dr says it’s okay, then your husband should be able to experience the birth of his children by his wife’s side.

We talk all the time about how our men don’t play a large enough roll in the lives of their children and now here’s a guy who wants to be there for his lady and his three kids and you make the decision to shut him out. Not a good thing to do, you need to allow him to experience the birth of the children you are going to raise as a family.

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[Reddit User] − Triplets. ​. if the baby doesn't come in 3 weeks. ​. Troll; an 8 month pregnant person would keep track of this verbiage.

ComprehensiveFlight4 − YTA. Pretty unreal that in the one of the most vulnerable moments of your life, you’d rather be alone than have your husband by your side. They’re his children and you want to ban him from seeing them be born.. This will crack the foundation of your marriage. Decide if that’s worth it to you.

JustForLaughsNinetyD − YTA: why share an experience with someone if you’re clearly not willing to share?. They’re not your kids, you share them with him. It’s not all about you.

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dweebyweeby − Info- why would having him there be a bigger stress on you? It seems like your husband’s support should help with easing you unless he’s a jerk. If it’s an extra germ thing or something I can kind of understand that.

JustForLaughsNinetyD − This is NOT a medical decision 😂 that is just the excuse being used. Having him there will not affect the medical proceedings whatsoever. Impossible. Unless he lays on the operating table and wrestles with the nurse.

[Reddit User] − NAH. The medical safety of mother and baby means minimizing stress. Anything that has the potential to stress out the labouring mother is not welcome in her labor room.

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And while I personally had my husband sit near my head during each of my c-sections, and very much appreciated his presence, I support the right of every woman to give birth the way she wants. Do I understand why he might feel upset? Yes. But it is what it is and medical need trumps wish.

These spicy views light up the debate, but do they nail it? Was mom selfish, or was safety king?

What a wild ride—triplets on the way, a high-risk C-section looming, and a husband locked away after a birth room ban! Our mom wrestled with fear and complications, then cracked the door open after a tear-soaked talk. Reddit’s split, tossing shade and support in equal measure. Was she wrong to hesitate, or was stress her guide? How would you handle a partner’s plea versus a doctor’s caution in this delivery drama? Spill your feelings, stories, and advice—let’s get this convo birthing some insight!

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