AITA For Going Off On My Father’s New Family After They Kept Harassing Me Online?

Imagine strangers flooding your phone with demands to love a man who vanished from your life. A 19-year-old endured exactly that from his absent father’s new wife and daughter. They wouldn’t take no for an answer.

His dad left when he was a baby. Zero visits. Zero dollars. Just court files full of missed payments. At 18, the full story surfaced. Then the messages began—first gentle, then vicious. They slandered his mom and spun fairy tales of a loving father too scared to stay. Every block was bypassed. In desperation, he exploded. This saga exposes the cruelty of ignoring someone’s pain. When abandonment meets obsession, who gets the final word?

‘AITA For Going Off On My Father’s New Family After They Kept Harassing Me Online?’

The father abandons OP and evades all responsibility.

My "dad" walked out on me and my mom when I (19M) was a baby. He didn't pay child support, didn't ever see me, didn't show up at court at...

I always had questions about him but my mom was always way too nice about it until I turned 18 and she laid it all out for me.

She even showed me the file she had for court that showed all the times he didn't show, how much money he owed, the fact she chased after child support...

For six years she tried to chase him through court until she gave up the fight and let the debt compile because it was costing her money and was taking...

He was the truest definition of a deadbeat. And I have nothing good to say and no interest in establishing a relationship of any kind.

Wife and daughter initiate contact across platforms.

In September I got a friend request from this woman on Facebook. We had no friends in common so I ignored it. Then I rejected it. She sent it again...

A day later a request came from a girl and I rejected that but just like the other account she sent it again. I saw they were friends so I...

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Turns out this was my deadbeat father's wife and oldest daughter. They wanted to find me because they felt I should know my family and how I was now old...

I unfriended the wife and blocked both accounts and went private. But my Facebook is linked to my Instagram and the daughter tried to reach me there.

She said I didn't know the truth and deserved it and how she and her siblings always wanted to know their older brother and how her whole family were hoping...

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They create new accounts and attack OP’s mother.

The daughter found another account of mine on another platform and has pestered me there ever since. It's constant new accounts and I have reported some. I tried replying once...

The next day I had messages from both mother and daughter saying my mom was the reason I didn't know my deadbeat father and how she was abusive and awful...

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and he hated walking away but she was dangerous and awful to be around and I deserved to know the kind of thing I was raised by, and yeah his...

I responded that they were making a lot of accusations and defending him so much but he left me with a supposedly abusive mother and made no attempt to save...

I said once again they needed to leave me alone and I wasn't going to have a relationship with any of them.

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A final sob-story message triggers OP’s outburst.

I thought they were finally going to leave me alone. But then before Christmas I got a looong message from the two of them that basically gave me this sob...

but feared my life would be worse if he stayed and I'd be abused worse and how he hoped my mom would abuse me less if he wasn't around. I...

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The wife flipped out on me and said how dare I speak to them in such an abusive way and clearly I'm my mother's son.

She told me I should be ashamed speaking to a teenager that way who did nothing but try to love me. She is so pissed that I had to turn...

(and I tried to stop them contacting me there but the feature to stop them seems to be wonky on my account). I did go to the police but I...

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The clash is simple: autonomy versus imposition. OP has zero obligation to a father who chose disappearance. The wife and daughter’s campaign—bypassing blocks, slandering his mother—crosses into harassment. Their narrative rewrites history to erase accountability.

OP’s rage erupted after months of ignored boundaries. The father never contacted him once in 19 years—yet his proxies demand love. This isn’t reconciliation; it’s coercion. The “abuse” excuse collapses under scrutiny: if danger was real, why no rescue attempt? The women weaponize guilt while shielding a deadbeat.

Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains in Should I Stay or Should I Go? (2015): “Persistent boundary violations are a form of control, not care.” Here, every new account is another violation. OP’s outburst was raw but proportionate—polite rejections failed.

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Immediate steps: screenshot everything with dates. File a new police report citing stalking via digital means. Lock every profile; unlink platforms; use privacy checkups. Send one certified letter (keep receipt) stating all contact ceases or legal action follows. Explore child support recovery—many states allow adult claims. Therapy can help process anger without self-blame. OP isn’t his father’s sin; he’s allowed to close the door forever.

Check out how the community responded:

Users unanimously declared NTA and smelled motives. Reactions grouped into debunking lies, weaponizing child support, and total disconnection.

Commenters shredded the “abusive mom” excuse.

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aeroeagleAC − He left because she was abusive, but never paid child support, presumably get paid under the table to avoid getting garnished, and has never actually reached out himself?...

SciFiEmma − . . so he chose to leave you with a terrible abusive mother instead of taking you to safety? Come on. Does he not see how that's worse?

checkoutmywheeeppit − I left you but I loved you very much Why didn't you take me with you? She was evil Why didn't you take me with you? She was...

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Why didn't you take me with you? I was so scared for you I was a baby, I would have fit in and tote bag I'm amazed she didn't k__l...

grayblue_grrl − NTA My ex tried that story too and it worked on every woman he was ever with. He was such a victim and I was hiding the kids...

Then I moved out of the area. Of course he paid all his child support, so why was I getting back child support once he started getting his disability pension...

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I was controlling because I expected him to keep his word, be home when he said he would be etc. NEVER underestimate the low stories people can spin when they...

ConvivialKat − NTA Did I miss something? Why isn't your dad the one contacting you if he cares so much?

Safe_Perspective9633 − Wow, your deadbeat dad gaslit them so badly that I honestly think they actually believe everything they are saying. That is so sad.

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Many saw the harassment as a ploy to dodge debt.

Victor-Grimm − NTA-File for harassment and then get the court stuff from your mom showing he failed to pay 18 years of child support. Say once that is paid in...

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JTBlakeinNYC − NTA. Retired attorney here. My guess is that they want you to sign off on forgiving your father’s child support debt.

It isn’t dischargeable in bankruptcy and cannot legally be waived by the custodial parent on the child’s behalf because the right to support belongs to the child, not the parent.

Some states allow adult children to sue noncustodial parents for child support arrears; I would contact the child support enforcement office in your jurisdiction to see if you can make...

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l3ex_G − Nta I would look into any services that will help you go after him for the back child support. Maybe you can get his license taken away or...

OnlyThePhantomKnows − NTA If a set of strangers demanded that you become friends with them, would you feel bad for telling them to go away? This smells like a "lets...

Tell them you will meet with them, if your dad pays with certified check to your mom ALL of the child support owed, plus all the legal fees she wracked...

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And I am sure you can suck it up for a few hours and talk to these people to help your mom out.

Bamce − Show them the paperwork your mother has. OR better yet, agree to meet with them, and your father. But have the court folks there to serve your dad...

Others urged full digital lockdown.

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orange_lover444 − NTA. You stated your boundaries and they should respect them because at the end of the day you get the last say not them. You should just block...

Sorry if my comment is a bit off the hinge this post just made me a bit mad. .. Edit: this comment blew up quick wow i qasnt expecting this....

PAiN_Magnet − Most people would just take the initial r__ection and move on. .. If they keep trying so hard, I get the feeling he needs something. .. like an...

writing_mm_romance − So, deadbeat dad is still a f__king deadbeat, he just has a deadbeat family now too? My next steps would be to forward the documentation that he never...

I would then make good on your promise and I would reach out to the non-emergency contact line at your local police station and show them the messages. Let them...

Also, because I have a petty streak I would make sure to post a long, rambling, sickly sweet post about what an amazing mother you have. How she's always been...

Then add a line down at the bottom that says something like, "She's the best mom in the world, and really the best dad in the world too. I never...

Creepy-Stable-6192 − NTA. Maybe copy the files your mom has and send them to your fathers wife and daughter. Let them see his lies. Then block and delete.

OP’s explosion was the sound of a boundary finally enforced. Nineteen years of silence from his father earned zero claims on his future. The new family’s campaign wasn’t love—it was entitlement wrapped in lies. Some doors stay locked for good reason.

Would you entertain a single message from someone who abandoned you at birth? Or does absence forfeit every right to return? When strangers demand forgiveness you never offered, how loud should “no” get before it’s heard?

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