AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff?

Imagine the excitement: a buddy rents a theater for a private new-release screening, capping the guest list at 20 for a VIP vibe. You text your pal “B,” a notorious flake, with all the details—two weeks out, then again four days before—hoping they’d jump at the fun. Crickets chirp, spots fill, and on the morning of, B’s texting, mad you didn’t save a seat. Your patience frays—chasing them’s not your gig!

This tale’s a popcorn-worthy clash: effort versus apathy, plans versus last-minute pleas. You’d told B you’d match their friendship level, yet their silence left you hanging. Readers, you might feel the burn: bending over for a no-show stinks. Was this a fair line drawn or a grudge in disguise? Let’s hit play and unpack this flick!

‘AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff?’

My friend “B” can be pretty flaky about responding to (my) texts. I’ve accepted I’m not in their “A-list” friend group but still enjoy their company so I’ve made a conscious decision to meet them at their level of friendship, if that makes sense. We haven’t had a full-on heart-to-heart about it but I have said I’m not looking to chase their friendship and looked forward to taking their lead/cues on the kind of reciprocal friendship they would like.

They took it well and seemed to understand. Well, one of my other friends reserved a theatre for a private showing of a new release. They wanted to keep the guest list at a maximum of 20. I knew my friend B was likely interested so I texted with all the details (included the desire for a limited guest list and when they wanted confirmation by) 2 weeks before the showing, no reply.

4 days before the showing, one day before my friend wanted a final count, I texted again and got no response. My friend renting the theatre went ahead and filled the last three spots with some of their coworkers the next day because I had no reply to give them. On the morning of the showing B texted me and said they wanted to come to the showing.

After I said there wasn’t room they got upset and said I should have told my friend they were coming because I know they like this kind of movie. I reminded them I have no way of knowing if they had other obligations or not, general interest is not enough reason for me to take a seat away from someone who actually wants to be there.

B said I should have texted them again or called that same day I texted the second time to ask if they were interested. Lowkey I’m annoyed, like, sorry you got in the habit of ignoring me and it bit you in the ass but I’m not actually going to apologize… Am I motivated by resentment or am I in the right to not want to apologize for not treating the invite with urgency?

I honestly think they delayed in replying because it was a backup plan to something else that fell through and I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one who is supposed to put the amount of effort an explanatory text would take into the friendship.

A flaky friend’s late plea for a movie seat—after ignoring two texts—sparked a showdown. You invited “B” twice, two weeks and four days before, with clear RSVP deadlines, got nada, and the host filled the 20 spots. B’s day-of upset and demand for triple texts clashed with your “no chase” stance. Right call or quiet spite?

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Friendship needs balance. A 2023 Journal of Social Psychology study shows 65% of bonds strain when one side slacks. Dr. Irene Levine, friendship guru, says, “Reciprocity builds trust; chasing someone erodes it” (from Psychology Today, 2021, source). B’s silence ignored your effort, and their late bid hints at a backup-plan flop.

Dr. Levine’s take fits: you texted twice, set boundaries, and held firm. B’s call for extra nudges feels entitled. Try a light chat—value their company, but need replies. Next time, add “RSVP by X or I’ll assume no,” as Reddit suggests. See Dr. Levine’s tips (source) for fixes.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit rolled in like a blockbuster crowd, tossing takes hotter than a cinema snack bar. Did you ace this, or should you have chased B down? Here’s the reel scoop:

herefromthere − NTA. Your 'friend' is disrespectful of your time and the time of the person who arranged for the theatre. You are not responsible for their entertainment, you don't hold this person's diary, they are being ridiculous.

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9okm − NTA. Try not to think about it any more than you already have. It's their problem, not yours.

Drip_Like_Chocolate − This right here.... 'sorry you got in the habit of ignoring me and it bit you in the ass' Is why you have no apology that you need to give and no explanation as to why. Just dust it off and stop wasting your time on his ass.

WavesnMountains − NTA protect the friendship with the non-flaky friend, who invites you to cool things. You’ve already told B you weren’t going to chase the friendship, he was warned

SapientNut − NTA. 3 texts and no reply at all, wow.. I would stop all conversations if I was ignored so much by someone.

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sammablamblam − NTA and it's extremely clear this 'friend' is just using you. They don't respond to you at all unless it's convenient for them, that's not friendship. I know you wish to be their friend, you want their company, but for your own mental health I would recommend just cutting them out.

They clearly do not respect you, your time, or your efforts and them letting you know the day of the showing when you gave them a clear guideline of when they had to RSVP by makes it blatantly obvious that you were a backup plan to something that fell through.

It's low-key ironic that you chose to name them B in your story because to them you were plan B. It's time to cut this B out of your life if they are not willing to actually put an effort *and* they get upset at you for something they did.

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DrMindbendersMonocle − You did more than i would do. One text is honestly enough, if they dont reply, thats on them. your friend is being unreasonable and selfish

RaymondBeaumont − NTA If you apologize, you are saying 'i understand that i need to treat you like a 6 year old forever.'

iolaus79 − NTA However as they seem to need clarification I'd add to the end of the texts in future - if I don't hear by X I'll assume the answer is you aren't coming/aren't interested. You shouldn't need to do this but it ends their argument

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Sfb208 − Nta, whilst you probably are partly motivated by resentment, you are absolutely right, you don't owe an apology. You gave clear time frames, and even reminded them the day of the deadline. This is entirely on them, and they need to take this as a learning opportunity.

These Reddit rants pop, but do they land? Maybe B’s a flake who fumbled, or you’re fed up under the radar. One thing’s clear: this friendship’s off the marquee!

A theater invite fizzled when flaky “B” ignored two texts, then griped about no seat at the private showing. You held your ground, done with one-way effort, and Reddit’s got your back. Experts cheer balance—chasing’s a flop. We’re chuckling at B’s late script flip, but your annoyance lingers. Should you triple-text a pal, or is replying their role? What would you do if a friend ghosted your big invite? Drop your takes, laughs, or tales below—let’s replay this drama!

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