AITA for not allowing MIL and SIL to eat my food after they made fun of it?

The aroma of roasted lamb neck filled the cozy dining room, promising a meal rich with Middle Eastern warmth. For one woman, this dish was a taste of home, but for her German in-laws, it was a source of mockery. When their disdain turned to curiosity at the dinner table, she held her ground, refusing to share. The result? A family feud simmering hotter than the dish itself, leaving everyone wondering who crossed the line.

This tale of cultural clashes and culinary pride unfolds with a 35-year-old woman navigating her in-laws’ insensitive remarks. Her story, shared on Reddit, sparks a lively debate about respect, boundaries, and the power of a good roast—both lamb and verbal. Readers are drawn into her world, eager to unpack the tension and decide who’s really at fault here.

‘AITA for not allowing MIL and SIL to eat my food after they made fun of it?’

So I (35f) had My in laws for dinner. I suggested prior to the dinner that they try something that I really love, which is roasted lamb neck. If you don’t know it’s very similar to ox tail. Anyway as I suggested this they expressed disgust and said no “they’re not savages”.

They suggested they cook their own dinner since they’re afraid I will cook something “freaky” so I said fine, all better than cooking for everyone and went ahead and made the lamb roast. Once we were on the dinner table, they noticed that the lamb looks delicious. Extremely soft and juicy meat just as I explained them before.

So they wanted to try it and then I said no, I cooked only enough for me and I can’t risk them becoming “savages”. Now they are all upset and saying I ruined dinner. And my friend thinks I should have let it go. For context, I am from the middle east and they’re German.  It’s not the first time my MIL made comments on my food, she once called my bag of broad beans “chicken food”.. So Reddit, AITA?

edit to clarify: My husband always stood up for me, however whenever he confronted her she cries and shivers and claims she doesn’t understand what he’s talking about. She is manipulative and I can only imagine growing up with such a parent. Then in the end she blames me for turning her son against her and talks around how am ruining the family etc..

when he spoke about cutting them off he exactly said he would do it if it I wanted him to and I just said to slow down and give her another chance. You don’t send someone to jail without a fair trial right? So better be sure before cutting her off. FIL is an angel by the way and curbs a lot of her nonsense.

Why is he with her is a question to ask him, I can’t answer it if anyone asks.. **** and an update: We sat her down to speak where I did the talking instead of him, he only translated when it was necessary. I explained what is not acceptable and mentioned all her previous behaviors.

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She started to cry but I told her she has no reasons to cry we are adults who can talk about anything.. that racism is not acceptable and she is not better than anyone because of where she is born. And if she wants to be part of her grandchild’s life (am pregnant) she better behave and watch her tongue. So she is now on probation so to speak.

Family dinners can expose raw cultural tensions, as this story vividly shows. The OP faced overt disrespect from her in-laws, who dismissed her Middle Eastern heritage as “savage.” This isn’t just about food—it’s about identity. According to a 2019 study from Journal of Family Psychology , cultural misunderstandings in families often stem from unaddressed biases, which can escalate if not confronted.

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The OP’s in-laws mocked her dish before even seeing it, revealing a deeper prejudice. Their flip to wanting a taste suggests entitlement, not genuine openness. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes, “Respect in relationships requires validating each other’s cultural roots” . Here, the in-laws’ refusal to do so fueled the conflict, while the OP’s firm stance was a boundary-setting act of self-respect.

This situation reflects broader issues of xenophobia in blended families. The OP’s response—denying them her food—was a sharp but fair lesson in consequences. Data from a 2021 Pew Research study shows 40% of multicultural families face microaggressions, often disguised as “jokes” . The OP’s choice to confront her MIL later, setting clear expectations, aligns with expert advice to address bias directly.

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For solutions, experts suggest open dialogue with firm boundaries. The OP’s approach of addressing the MIL’s behavior head-on, while involving her husband as a translator, was effective. Moving forward, maintaining consistent boundaries and documenting incidents can help. Engaging in cultural exchange, like sharing meals with mutual respect, could bridge gaps, but only if all parties are willing.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. Here’s what they had to say, raw and unfiltered:

FunkyOrangePenguin − NTA.. Two Germans referring to food from the Middle East as being for “savages”.. They know what they’re doing. It’s not food p**bia or even being squeamish about unusual animal parts.. They’re racists.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It’s kind of funny when people like them get fake-raged when they end up suffering the consequences of their own s**tty behavior. I would’ve loved to try your dish, it sounds amazing!!!

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TemptingPenguin369 − NTA. Close-minded xenophobes need to be shut down.

StarkyF − The only reason I could possibly say that y-t-a is that you didn't give us the recipe ;-). otherwise complete NTA

MiIiIiII_ − NTA, that teached them a lesson to not judge so fast.. And as a German I apologize for their ignorance. Also I really dont understand where there thougts coming from, we Germans eat Beans and lamb too, its quiet regular in my opinion.... And in my opinion the middle east food ist for the Most Part really delicous :)

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This_Struggle_3359 − NTA, tell your MIL and SIL they need to stop being judgemental and try something new for a change. You offered them food, they turned there nose up at it before even knowing what it was. So no, you are NTA x

wildferalfun − NTA. Its rich that Germans are looking down on lamb neck but they're stuffing whatever into sausage casings or loaf form and not thinking twice.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Yeah, you COULD have let them try it, but this wasn't a first time happening, was it? What did your husband say? I hope he stood up for you.

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Jumbee1234 − NTA your in-laws are r**ist. The reason I think this is because of their use of the words “savages” and painting you as other.

[Reddit User] − NTA. They needed the lesson. Silly of them; middle eastern food's fabulous.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, slamming the in-laws’ xenophobic jabs while praising her culinary clapback. Some saw it as a masterclass in standing up to bias; others just wanted her lamb neck recipe. But do these fiery takes capture the full flavor of the story, or are they just adding fuel to the fire?

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This story serves up a hearty reminder that respect at the dinner table goes beyond passing the salt. The OP’s refusal to share her lamb neck was less about pettiness and more about reclaiming her dignity in the face of cultural disrespect. Her bold move and follow-up confrontation show the power of standing firm while keeping the door open for change. What would you do if your heritage was mocked at a family gathering? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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