AITA for not wanting to spend $200 on a wedding gift as a plus-one who has met the groom briefly only 2 times and never even met the bride?

The buzz of a last-minute wedding invite lit up a quiet evening for a young Canadian woman, thrilled to join her boyfriend at his close friend’s big day. With visions of dancing and celebration, she eagerly agreed to be his plus-one, only to hit a snag when he asked her to chip in $200 for the couple’s gift. Having met the groom just twice and never the bride, she felt the request land like an unexpected bill, souring the festive mood.

Her offer of $100–$150, plus the cost of a new dress, seemed generous to her, but her boyfriend worried about looking “cheap.” The disagreement sparked a heated debate, exposing the tricky terrain of social expectations and financial fairness. Caught between supporting her partner and standing her ground, she faced a dilemma that turned a joyful occasion into a test of boundaries.

‘AITA for not wanting to spend $200 on a wedding gift as a plus-one who has met the groom briefly only 2 times and never even met the bride?’

Wedding invitations often come with unspoken rules, but this plus-one’s predicament highlights the awkwardness of financial expectations. The woman’s reluctance to pay $200 for a couple she barely knows is understandable, especially as a guest accompanying her boyfriend. His push for an equal contribution risks blurring the lines between partnership and obligation, creating tension where celebration should reign.

Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman advises, “A plus-one is not obligated to contribute to the gift, as the primary guest bears the responsibility” (source: Etiquette School of America). Here, the boyfriend’s expectation overlooks the woman’s limited connection to the couple. His concern about appearing “cheap” may stem from social pressure, but it unfairly shifts the burden onto her, especially given her additional expenses like a dress.

This situation reflects broader wedding culture pressures. A 2023 WeddingWire Canada survey notes that 68% of guests feel financial strain from wedding-related costs, with gifts averaging $100–$200 per couple. As a plus-one, her $100–$150 offer aligns with norms, making her stance reasonable. Her boyfriend’s insistence may signal a need for clearer communication about shared financial decisions.

To resolve this, they could agree on a joint gift within her budget, presented as a couple, preserving his reputation while respecting her limits. Openly discussing expectations before future events could prevent similar conflicts. Therapy or couples’ workshops might also help align their values, ensuring celebrations don’t become financial flashpoints.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users sided strongly with the woman, agreeing that as a plus-one, she’s not obligated to contribute to the gift. They criticized her boyfriend’s request as tacky, with many suggesting he should cover the gift alone since it’s his friend’s wedding.

Commenters emphasized that her $100–$150 offer was generous, noting that social norms don’t require plus-ones to pay. Some urged her to reconsider attending if the financial pressure persists, highlighting the importance of mutual respect in relationships.

This story of a plus-one caught in a wedding gift dispute reveals the hidden pressures of social etiquette and partnership dynamics. Her stand against an unfair financial expectation underscores the importance of clear boundaries, even in love. Have you ever faced unexpected costs as a guest at an event? Share your stories below and let’s unpack the tricky balance of generosity and fairness.