AITA for telling my son that I don’t play favorites and to get over his jealousy?

In a quiet suburban home, tension simmers like a pot left too long on the stove. A father, proud of his fairness, faces a storm of accusations from his teenage son, Kevin, and his wife, who claim he’s handed his daughter, Laurel, the golden ticket to life. The spark? A condo deal that looks like a gift from the gods but is really just a stroke of timing. As Kevin’s jealousy bubbles over, the family’s harmony teeters on the edge. Can a father’s good intentions survive the heat of perceived favoritism, or will this misunderstanding tear them apart?

The story unfolds with raw emotion, pulling readers into a relatable family drama where love, fairness, and resentment collide. It’s a tale that makes you wonder: how do you prove you’re not playing favorites when the scoreboard looks uneven? Let’s dive into this Reddit saga, where a father’s choices ignite a firestorm of feelings.

‘AITA for telling my son that I don’t play favorites and to get over his jealousy?’

All names are fake. I have two children. Laurel (24) and Kevin (15). Laurel is from my first marriage. Kevin and my wife think that I favor Laurel, but that's just not true. They've complained about it over the years, but now it's at a boiling point. The most recent complaint is that I gave her a 'free house'.

None of their accusations have ever been true, but this one especially isn't. I've been with the same company for over 35 years. Decades ago, my job made me and several other employees travel to their HQ so often that they bought us condos in the home city because it was cheaper at the time than constantly paying for hotels.

At the time, property in the city was cheap. We had free use, but technically the company owned them and they paid all expenses. In 2020, obviously all business travel stopped. At the time, Laurel was moving to that city with her new husband and they were looking for a place.

Because it was just sitting empty and would be for a long time, I told her that they could live in the condo until things went back to normal. It would be safe and clean, and it would give them a chance to save money for a better place of their own as they were expecting their fitst child. In 2021, two things happened.

The company decided to shut down all physical offices for a permanent WFH, and I decided to take my retirement. With closing the physical offices, they also really wanted to get rid of the condos. They offered them to us at an extreme discount. I didn't want it, but Laurel did. She and her husband offered to pay the cost, and I let them.

It was less than a 1/4th of market cost, but it wasn't free or a gift to her. Kevin realizes that there's not going to be anything like that for him, and he is raging about it. He claims I've 'always done things like this' and that I 'gave her a house but am probably going to kick him out at 18 like every American parent'.

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My wife is on his side, and angry about this and that I 'let' Laurel be a stay at home mother and not her. None of these things are true. I didn't give her a free house. I let her buy one for a discount because she happened to be buying at the exact time that there was any opportunity for one.

Also, she got to be a stay at home mother because she happened to be having a baby at the only time in modern history that required people to stay home, not because I was funding her. I realize how it must look, but really she just ended up doing things in special situations where there were unique opportunities.

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I don't think I'm in the wrong here because I don't treat my children differently. If I happen to come across an opportunity for Kevin to do the same with the same, I would make sure he's aware, but I can't imagine I would.

This family feud feels like a classic case of miscommunication boiling over into resentment. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Unresolved conflict in families often stems from perceived inequities, which can fester without open dialogue” . Here, the father’s intentions seem fair, but Kevin and his wife see Laurel’s condo deal as a glowing neon sign of favoritism.

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The father’s situation is tricky: Laurel benefited from a unique opportunity tied to his job, not a deliberate gift. Kevin, at 15, is too young to seize similar deals, and his fear of being “kicked out at 18” hints at deeper insecurities, possibly fueled by his mother’s frustrations. A 2021 study from the Institute for Family Studies shows that 68% of teens in blended families report feeling less favored than siblings, often due to parental missteps in communication .

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes “turning toward” family members with empathy. The father could acknowledge Kevin’s feelings without admitting fault, perhaps saying, “I hear you feel left out, let’s talk about what fairness looks like for you.” This validates Kevin’s emotions while clarifying the condo wasn’t a handout. The wife’s role, though, seems to amplify the tension—her siding with Kevin may reflect her own unresolved issues, possibly jealousy over Laurel’s opportunities.

To move forward, the family needs a reset. Regular family meetings, as suggested by family therapists, can help air grievances and rebuild trust. The father should also ensure Kevin knows his future is secure, countering fears of abandonment. This isn’t about buying Kevin a condo—it’s about showing him he’s valued equally.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew jumped into this family drama with gusto, tossing out opinions like confetti at a parade. Here’s the unfiltered take from the online crowd:

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bumblebee7310 − NTA. But honestly I feel like your wife is the source of what Kevin is spewing out. What 15 year old boy cares about housing. It seems like your wife is using Kevin to try and get you to buy a property in his or her name to “even” the scoring between Kevin and Laurel.

FirefighterAlarmed64 − NTA. I have a question for the wife and son. My hypothetical daughter is learning piano, and my co-worker has one they want rid of, so I get it at 1/4 value. My fake daughter pays for the 1/4 herself. I spend nothing. Do I now owe my hypothetical son a piano? *Is that their reasoning?*

Or a step further**. I drive my fake kids to the mall, and we walk around. My daughter's favourite store has a clearance sale on, so she is able to use her own money to buy a huge load of stuff.. Do I now owe my son the value of the savings she made?. I can't get my head around the entitlement here.

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readshannontierney − Idk man, it sounds like there's a lot of stuff missing here, like what happened when your son was born that upset your wife so much? What are the things in the past that Kevin has complained about regarding favoritism I mean, there's truth to his complaint buried in some hyperbole.

You opened doors that wouldn't have been opened for her. Yes, you don't see this kind of stuff coming, but have you done anything to ensure he can have housing/college covered through his mid-twenties?

Or is the plan actually that he's on his own This particular complaint sounds like it's connected with actual fear that you will cut him off from resources when he becomes of age. At 15, he's worried about abandonment. Why? This looks like you need to stop reacting personally and realize you're household needs therapy. Something is wrong here.

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Tiny_Shelter440 − NTA It is inappropriate for your 15 yo to have an opinion about your finances in 6 years. He’s 15. And your wife doesn’t need to compete with your daughter. You should not be subsidizing your daughter’s life but it doesn’t sound like you are.

What evidence do your wife and son have that you’re going to stop supporting him at 18 or that that decision belongs only to you and not you and your wife?. Marriage therapy to stop the splitting can’t come soon enough.

coppeliuseyes − INFO can you give other examples that your wife and son think you've favoured your daughter? Your son says you are 'always doing things like this' so I'm curious as to what other things he thinks he's done. A standalone example in your favour doesn't necessarily give the complete picture.

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noteasytobecheesy − NTA. Nothing in what you're describing even remotely hints at favouritism. But your wife and son sound entitled AF.

HarlesBronson − Nta. You acted as a middle man to get your daughter a great deal on the condo. An opportunity arose and you took advantage. You also aren't allowing your daughter to be a sahm,

that's not even up to you its between her and her husband. He is supporting her, not you. I don't know the history of you giving laurel preferential treatment but in this specific incident, they are the ones out of line.

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waywardjynx − Is your wife not American? Why is Kevin saying 'like every American parent does?' Besides being untrue, it spunss like someone has been whispering in his ear.. NTA. Life isn't fair, when the condo was available your son wasn't in a position to buy it.. I'd insist on family therapy

butybrainbrawn − Sounds like wife is the problem. And the favouritism that she wants to point out is not that your favour daughter over son but favour daughter our her elder children. Maybe she is jealous you offer Laurel the opportunity and not them. Cause really how would a 15 year be able to afford to buy a home

Vampire_queen94 − Need more info you said this was the final straw but what else happened that they think she's the favorite.

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These Redditors didn’t hold back, with some cheering the father’s fairness and others sniffing out deeper family dysfunction. Many pointed fingers at the wife for stirring the pot, while others urged therapy to untangle Kevin’s fears. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the family fire?

This tale of condos and family clashes reminds us how quickly misunderstandings can spiral. The father’s heart seems in the right place, but Kevin’s hurt and the wife’s frustration show there’s work to be done. Family dynamics are messy, and fairness isn’t always about equal deals—it’s about equal love. What would you do if you were caught in this family tug-of-war? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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