AITA for not sharing my investments with my family?

Imagine a 17-year-old hustling through high school, slinging plates at his uncle’s restaurant under the soft glow of diner lights, all while stashing away every tip for a bold dream. In a quiet Canadian town, this determined teen transformed his earnings into a down payment for a five-bedroom house, a clever plan to glide through university without the weight of debt. But as move-in day looms, his family’s jealousy brews like a storm on the horizon. They’re pushing for his stepbrother to live rent-free, threatening to upend his carefully crafted strategy.

The sting of guilt tugs at him, especially since his stepbrother faces looming student debt without a scholarship. Yet, giving in could unravel years of sacrifice. Reddit’s buzzing with takes on this clash of ambition and family ties, and it’s easy to see why—this saga of grit and tension hits close to home. Can he hold his ground without breaking the family bond?

‘AITA for not sharing my investments with my family?’

So this problem originated a few months ago, but I’m still getting flack about it and starting to feel quite guilty. A friend suggested I post my story here. I (17m) will be moving out and heading to university this year in a city about 1.5 hours from where I currently live with my mom, stepdad and stepbrother (18m).

My stepbrother is also moving to the same city, and going to the same university (there aren’t too many universities in our province, and this is the one he was accepted to, we didn’t plan it). My plan for the past couple of years has been to buy a relatively large house when I go to university, which I did a few months ago, so that I could rent out some rooms to cover the mortgage/property tax.

It’s a 5 bedroom. I'll be living in one and I’ve rented the 4 other rooms out at break even cost. I’ve also received a scholarship that covers my tuition, and so by working through summers for spending money, my hope is to come out with no debt + whatever equity is built on my home through mortgage payments.

Before you ask, I wasn't given any money to do this. My family is not well off, either on my moms or dads side, but we do live comfortably. I did this by saving my own money for a downpayment through high school. Also, no I did not give up my childhood or anything like that.

I only worked about 10-12 hours a week on average (2 x 5-6 hour shifts) at my uncles (dads side) restaurant, starting at the beginning of grade 9. I worked as a server, and since we do not serve much alcohol, I was able to get by without breaking any laws (my coworkers would deliver any beer orders to the table for me, since you can't do that until you're 18 here).

On average, including wage+tips, I was able to make about 300/shift, or 600/week. I was able to save and invest nearly all of it, since my parents covered most of my basic needs (like food, clothes etc.) and I only used some for fun spending money (like alcohol, eating out, whatever). When I pulled everything out of the market a few months ago, I had 120k for the downpayment. Since I'll have no income as a student, my uncle cosigned my mortgage.

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On to the issue. I never told my family about my plans, as I did not want them to interfere. I only told them about a month before I started to set the purchase into motion. My parents and step brother seemed a little envious about it, as he will be 'wasting his money on rent, while I'll be paying off a mortgage'.

I mean duh, that's why I'm doing this. They then asked me if I would cut him into the house, or at least let him live there for free. This would totally s**ew up my plans, so I said hell no. They've ever since been making me feel extremely guilty about it, because unlike me he is not on a scholarship,

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and my parents never planned to save up for our schooling, so he will come out with a bunch of debt. The reason I feel bad is he didn't have the same opportunity as me with my uncle (but he did have a job and chose to spend his money on other things). AITA?

Navigating family expectations while chasing financial independence is like walking a tightrope in a windstorm. This young investor’s story highlights the clash between personal ambition and familial loyalty. His stepbrother’s lack of savings isn’t his fault, but the pressure to share his hard-earned asset is real. As financial planner Wes Moss notes in a 2023 Forbes article, “Financial independence starts with setting boundaries, even with family, to protect your goals.” Here, the OP’s boundary—keeping his house plan intact—is a textbook move to secure his future.

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The family’s guilt-tripping stems from their own financial oversight. The stepbrother, despite having a job, spent his earnings elsewhere, unlike the OP’s disciplined saving. This reflects a broader issue: only 44% of Canadians under 25 save regularly, per a 2024 BMO survey. The OP’s choice to prioritize his mortgage over bailing out his stepbrother aligns with Moss’s advice to “prioritize your financial foundation before extending help.”

Still, family dynamics are tricky. The OP’s secrecy about his plans likely fueled the envy, as open communication might have softened the blow. A family therapist, Dr. John Gottman, suggests in his blog that “honest dialogue prevents resentment in family conflicts.” The OP could propose a compromise, like offering his stepbrother a discounted rent later, but free rent risks derailing his plan. He’s wise to stick to his guns, ensuring his investment remains sustainable.

For others in similar spots, Moss recommends clear communication and firm boundaries. If guilt creeps in, consider small gestures—like helping with budgeting tips—without compromising your goals. This balance keeps family ties intact while safeguarding your future.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of cheers and skepticism. Some hailed the OP as a financial prodigy, while others raised eyebrows at his server earnings. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

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KaijuAlert − NTA - It's a good thing that the rooms are already rented! Your parents do not have any say in this. Depending on how much you trust your brother, he could potentially move in when one of your other renters leaves,

but there's no way you should kick anyone out for him. Although I think you should not be charging your tenants a break-even rent because that means any repairs and maintenance to the property will still come out of your pocket.

CG-Shin − NTA. it’s not your fault that he spent his money for entertainment while you saved it. It’s a s**tty thing to guilt trip you while not even attempting to save anything. Seems like you will do a lot better financially if you just focus on yourself.

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Gawasan − INFO: Wait how much was your uncle paying you that you were netting $60/hr as a teenage server? Is this fake? Edit: Okay, before downvoting my posts, can I ask you guys to google the median tips per hour of waiters and bartenders in any high-CoL city of your choosing

and then tell me whether you think it's possible that some kid pulled $50/hr consistently, year-round, for 4 years?. I'll give you a hint: median tips per hour of bartenders and waiters in San Francisco is $16/hr

Wader_Man − NTA and well done! Reap the rewards of your planning, intelligence and sacrifice, and do not feel guilty about your decision. From your story it is apparent your step brother will be able to attend university without your support, so you are not denying him the opportunity.

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But I see no reason your low-margin investment (charging break even rent) should be jeopardized by offering him a free ride. That would provide him only a slightly better graduation situation while putting your ability to pay the mortgage at risk.

Ok-Mode-2038 − NTA. Their failure to plan does not constitute an emergency in your part.. You’ve made incredibly smart choices for someone your age and are under no obligation to anyone. You want to live your life and have a plan for that. Good for you! Go to college, enjoy your life, and do not let your step brother move in. If you give in to this, it’ll be virtually impossible to get him to leave and they’ll just keep asking for more and more from you.

turnips8424 − So you made... 50-60 bucks an hour at a place that barely sold alcohol?? That seems off..

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i_like_towels_ − NTA. You made a decision regarding what to do with your earnings to setup this stage of your life. That’s a mature thing to do and I applaud you for it. Don’t let others that made different decisions make you feel guilty. Best of luck.

snoop_ard − NTA. People forget that internet is a thing now, that people can utilize to learn and educate themselves. Your brother could have taken responsibility of his life at an early age, instead he blew it off. You worked hard and smart and used your money wisely. Congratulations for thinking way ahead of time.. And follow your plan, don’t be guilt-tripped. What others do with their life is not your responsibility.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You get to do with your money what you want to do.

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cricket73646 − NTA. You saved your money for this. It’s your house, and it sounds like a great plan to me.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP’s hustle but questioned if family pressure might sway him. Some saw the stepbrother’s spending habits as his own misstep; others wondered if the OP’s numbers add up. Do these hot takes nail the issue, or are they just stirring the pot?

This young investor’s story is a masterclass in grit, but it’s also a reminder that family can complicate even the best-laid plans. His choice to protect his investment over easing his stepbrother’s debt shows courage, yet the guilt lingers. Balancing personal goals with family expectations is never easy, but it’s a universal struggle. What would you do if your family asked you to share your hard-earned success? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep this conversation going!

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