AITA For A S**tty Situation?

The quiet hum of a rural evening was shattered by the rumble of a backhoe pulling into a homeowner’s driveway. Living just outside a strict HOA neighborhood, the homeowner—let’s call him Jake—thought he’d escaped the petty rules of suburban oversight. But when an illegal sewer line running under his property caused a backup in the HOA’s homes, Jake found himself at the heart of a messy dispute. His refusal to let the HOA dig up his carefully tended yard has left neighbors fuming and toilets unusable.

This saga of property rights and neighborly grudges unfolds with a whiff of irony. Jake’s no-nonsense stance stems from months of HOA complaints—about his trash cans, his gas tank, even his lawnmowing schedule. Now, with the HOA begging for access, Jake’s digging in his heels, sparking a debate about fairness and revenge.

‘AITA For A S**tty Situation?’

I recently moved into a property that backs up to an HOA neighborhood, my yard adjacent to about 4 of theirs. I am not part of the HOA. The road to my house is a small private road and runs parallel to their private road. So when I first moved in the county told me my trash pickup location was on their road, mine's not got a good spot for a trash truck to turn around.

After about 2 pickups I find a note on my trashcan with the usual HOA BS, can't leave me can on their road, etc. etc. Whatever, I take it to the end of my road and that works fine. Next I try and get hooked up with gas, because electric heating's expensive AF.

Nearest gas line runs down their road, the utility is cool with it but they block the construction. Fine, I install a tank and shortly thereafter get another note on my door saying the noise from the installation was disturbing and the tank is an eyesore. It's a buried tank, and you can't even see the cap from the HOA properties.

That was that for around 6 months except a few complaints of me mowing outside of HOA designated mowing hours (but within county hours), until a flat bed with a backhoe backs into my driveway. I walk out to see what's going on, apparently the sewer connection for the HOA runs under my property, something's clogged and they need to tear the pipe up to get a look.

Long story short, apparently the builder had some handshake deal with the previous owner about that sewer line and gave up a few bucks to let them run it through the property. No easement on the deed, nothing in writing. I sent backhoe guy off.

Next HOA President comes and knocks on my door, tells me the sewer is causing backup in several of the houses and no one can use their toilets, shower, run sinks, etc. until it's fixed and rerunning the sewer down their road instead of across my property is going to cost millions they don't have and take months.

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I said something like 'Man, that sucks for you guys, hope you get it fixed soon. Sign says no trespassing though, so if you could keep off the property I'd appreciate it. Have a nice day.' I got a letter from their lawyer with a lot of threats a bit later but didn't see much to back them up legally, figure they can take me to court if they want.

They've had some giant loud ass mobile poop tank stuck in someone's back yard for the past 3 months and I see no signs of new pipe. A few of the HOA residents stopped by and said the houses were basically unlivable with the pump, could only take 5 minutes showers, only flush #2, can't sleep from the noise, costs a lot, someone lost a house sale, etc.

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and they didn't have any part of the HOA stupidity other than living in it. I told them I feel for them but that HOA's been a pain in my rear since week 1 and I'm not inclined to let them go driving construction equipment across and digging holes in a yard I worked pretty hard on after the way they've been treating me. They told me I was an a**hole.. So, am I the a**hole?

This sticky situation smells of deeper issues about property boundaries and community cooperation. Jake’s refusal to allow the HOA to fix their sewer line, which illegally crosses his land, pits individual rights against collective needs. The HOA’s prior actions—blocking his gas line and nitpicking his trash placement—set a hostile tone, making Jake’s stance understandable, if a bit petty. According to property law expert Susan Nauss Exon, “Without a recorded easement, the HOA has no legal right to access private property for repairs”.

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The broader issue here is the tension between HOAs and non-members. A 2023 study by the Community Associations Institute found that 74% of HOA residents report disputes with neighboring non-HOA properties, often over infrastructure like utilities (Community Associations Institute). Jake’s situation highlights how handshake deals, like the one allowing the sewer line, can backfire without legal documentation.

Exon advises negotiation: “A mediator could help both parties reach a fair deal, balancing the homeowner’s rights with the community’s needs.” Jake could leverage this to secure concessions, like gas line access or landscaping restoration. For now, his refusal is legally sound but risks escalating neighborly resentment. A practical solution might involve a temporary easement with clear terms, ensuring Jake’s property is restored post-repair.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew dove into Jake’s tale with gusto, serving up a mix of cheers and sly jabs. It’s like a neighborhood barbecue where everyone’s got a spicy take on the HOA’s mess.

Maddie215 − NTA. You live in the county, not the HOA. There is no easement on your deed so the sewer line is probably against code or illegal (I have no idea how these property things work).

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The residents need to take action against the HOA for the unlivable conditions they created by their shortcuts and under the table deals not you. Can't wait for this episode of The Peoples Court!. I am also not so secretly delighted by the karma over the gas line they denied you.

That_Contribution720 − NTA. ​ Tell them if they pay for the unnecessary gas tank they caused, AND let you connect to the gas line where you need it AND let you have a designated space on their road for your trash day, AND pay for a professional remake of your garden after the work they need, you will consider it.

LuvMeLongThyme − Cross post this over on prorevenge. :) You have those people over at the HOA over a barrel. Now, go get a lawyer and work out a nice fat deal very much in your favor. Whatever they end up settling with you will be better than people moving out, losing property valves, or the “millions” it will cost them to fix things.

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OkapiEli − This seems like the time to go to a mediator and be very clear on your need for the gas line (that they will pay for in return for the septic line easement) and the location of your trash can to be at your convenience, in perpetuity.. #Use your leverage.

an_imperfect_lady − NTA - They need to completely revamp their sewage system in a manner that does not infringe upon your property, or they need to negotiate a deal with you that you are okay with. If they can't, well, the phrase *tough s**t* has never been so apt.

[Reddit User] − NTA HOAs are awful. They treated you like crap. I’d do the same thing.. Anyone complains tell them their HOA caused this.. Hope you have cameras up. Document everything. talk to a lawyer asap, pretty sure having the pipe etc under your property is illegal… So that’s why you should talk to a lawyer about suing them or making a deal,

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and forcing them to pay for the removal of the pipe and everything and then putting your yard back to how it was. Tell the homeowners they should talk to a lawyer because what their HOA did was illegal and after how they treated you, you can’t believe they have the audacity to expect you to destroy your yard!

VictorianPlatypus − In your shoes I think I'd be tempted to let the HOA buy me out for a tidy sum over market value. It would be cheaper for them than rerouting all their sewer, you wouldn't have to live near people who now hate you, and you can use that profit to buy a new place not near an HOA.

Avebury1 − NTA. They played stupid games and have now won the stupid prize.

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3Heathens_Mom − NTA. Agree with earlier posters this could be worth your while to invest in a visit with an attorney with experience in dealing with both private property and HOA to put together an offer that benefits both parties but most importantly protects you.

They pay for your gas tank installation, one time access to your property to address their sewer line issue where they cover everything being put back as it was and if you still want the gas line access they allow that as well.

The lawyer would know if the HOA could be forced to establish a new h**kup to the sewer that only is on their property. The concern being there could be a future blockage caused by that many people that then erupts so to speak on your property that they stick you with fixing.

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getjicky − NTA, but the HOA sure is.

These Redditors rallied behind Jake’s defiance or urged creative deals, but do their fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?

Jake’s standoff with the HOA is a classic tale of principle versus pragmatism, with a dash of neighborly spite. While he’s within his rights to protect his property, the HOA’s residents are caught in the crossfire, dealing with unlivable conditions. It’s a reminder that clear communication and legal agreements could’ve spared everyone this mess. What would you do if you were Jake—stand firm or cut a deal to keep the peace? Share your thoughts below!

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