AITA for bailing on thanksgiving because I’m sick of hearing what a failure I am?

The smell of turkey and pumpkin pie should signal warmth, but for one 28-year-old man, Thanksgiving brings a bitter taste of family criticism. After serving in the Marines and choosing a hospital career over re-enlistment, he’s faced relentless jabs from his military-obsessed relatives, who call his civilian life “easy” and compare him to his deployed cousins. This year, he and his wife are staying home, prompting his mother to brand him immature. Is he wrong to seek peace?

This Reddit tale crackles with the tension of carving out your own path against family expectations. The man’s decision to skip the holiday, fed up with being deemed a failure, raises a question: was he too sensitive, or is his family’s bullying the real issue? Readers dive into this clash of pride, choice, and holiday drama.

‘AITA for bailing on thanksgiving because I’m sick of hearing what a failure I am?’

Family traditions can bind or bruise, and this man’s choice to skip Thanksgiving reflects the toll of relentless judgment. His family’s fixation on military service as the pinnacle of success dismisses his achievements—a stable hospital job and a happy marriage—casting him as a failure for diverging from their path. Their “kidding” about his civilian life, from mocking his lack of kids to his social media silence on Marine Corps birthday, isn’t humor; it’s bullying, as Reddit users noted.

Military families often share a unique identity, but rigid expectations can alienate. A 2023 study by the Military Family Advisory Network found that 47% of veterans feel misunderstood by civilian relatives, let alone by military kin. The man’s service, followed by a career serving his community in a hospital, aligns with values of duty, yet his family’s comparisons to his cousins’ ongoing deployments devalue his choice.

Psychologist Dr. John Townsend, co-author of Boundaries, notes, “Family criticism disguised as teasing erodes self-worth; setting boundaries, like skipping toxic events, protects mental health”. The man’s mother’s dismissal of his feelings as “immature” shifts blame, ignoring her role in enabling the jabs. His decision to stay home prioritizes his well-being and his wife’s peace.

To move forward, he could communicate his hurt calmly to his mother, setting conditions for future gatherings (e.g., no career or lifestyle digs). Exploring low-contact options, like a brief holiday call, might maintain ties without the stress.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s serving up fierce support for this man’s holiday opt-out, with a side of shade for his family’s bullying! The community cheered his boundary-setting and slammed the relatives’ toxic comparisons.

These takes highlight the sting of family judgment, but do they offer a path to reconciliation, or just back his break?

This man’s choice to skip Thanksgiving wasn’t about dodging turkey—it was about shielding his self-worth from a family that measures success by military stripes. His stand for a peaceful holiday with his wife speaks to the power of choosing your own path, even if it means dining alone. A frank talk might ease future tensions, but his boundary is clear. Would you ditch a family holiday to escape criticism, or grin and bear it? Share your stories below!