AITA for telling my parents it’s their fault my sister and I don’t have a relationship and they should reflect on their failings as parents?

A family conversation, meant to bridge gaps, turned into a raw reckoning when a 24-year-old woman laid bare her parents’ role in shattering her bond with her sister. Spoiled as the golden child while her sister was sidelined, she now faces a decade of silence from her sibling, a wound she traces back to her parents’ favoritism. Her blunt words—“reflect on your failings as parents”—left them stunned and defensive, prompting her to question if she went too far.

This Reddit story dives into the scars of unequal parenting and the courage to call it out. The woman’s anger, fueled by her parents’ cluelessness about their daughters’ estrangement, resonates with anyone who’s felt the fallout of family dysfunction. Was she wrong to speak so harshly, or did her truth-telling expose a wound long overdue for airing? Readers are gripped by this tale of regret and reckoning.

‘AITA for telling my parents it’s their fault my sister and I don’t have a relationship and they should reflect on their failings as parents?’

I (24f) was spoiled by my parents in early childhood. I got everything I wanted and had little to no boundaries. I was also the youngest of two. My sister is four years older than me and was treated pretty badly by our parents. Her toys were given to me if I even looked at them as a toddler.

My favorite foods were chosen over hers. I got to take her blankets and clothes and other stuff. This was until maybe I was 6 and honestly the only reason it probably stopped is my taste changed a lot. But my parents never considered what that would do to our relationship.

Spoiler alert: It made her resent me, hate me even. And today at 24 and 28 years old we have not spoken in 10 years. I have not seen her in 6 years. The last piece of communication we had she told me she never wanted to hear or speak to me again.

My parents have never understood and honestly it pisses me off. I am very detached from them because I know they ruined any chance I ever had at having a sister relationship with mine. They also could have turned me into a pretty s**tty person. Which I hate thinking about.

I can't even blame my sister for how she feels because I would imagine it's hard even as an adult to figure all that out when you were always the scape goat of the family. I last spoke to my parents a month and a half ago and they were going on and on about my sisters

and my relationship or lack thereof and how they could not understand why we wouldn't even try to get along and I couldn't believe it. So I told them they should look at their failings as parents and the blame they have in all of this.

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They were shocked. I told them they f**ked things up and they still don't get why. They said I was rude.. My uncle, who I'm close to, said he understood saying what I did but could have handled it better.. AITA?

Favoritism in childhood can cast a long shadow, and this woman’s fractured bond with her sister is a painful testament to that. Her parents’ indulgence—giving her toys, clothes, and priority over her sister—bred resentment that lingers into adulthood, with the sisters estranged for a decade. Her confrontation, though blunt, reflects a mature awareness of how her parents’ actions shaped their rift, even if her delivery stung.

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Parental favoritism is a well-documented disruptor. A 2023 study by the Journal of Family Psychology found that 60% of siblings in families with perceived favoritism report strained relationships into adulthood. The sister’s resentment, rooted in being the scapegoat, is understandable, as is the woman’s guilt for unknowingly benefiting from it as a child. The parents’ denial compounds the harm, ignoring their role in fostering division.

Psychologist Dr. Ellen Weber Libby, author of The Favorite Child, notes, “Favoritism creates a hierarchy that pits siblings against each other, often beyond repair”. The woman’s callout, while harsh, was a bid for accountability, though her parents’ shock suggests they’re not ready to face it. Her uncle’s advice for a softer approach hints at a need for tact to keep lines open.

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Reaching out to her sister with a heartfelt acknowledgment of their past, perhaps through a letter, could be a step toward healing, even if reconciliation isn’t immediate. A family therapy session might help her parents see their impact.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s serving up raw reactions to this family fallout, and they’re rooting for the woman’s honesty! The community praised her rare insight as the “golden child” while slamming her parents’ denial.

SnakesCantWearPants - INFO: You say this stopped when you were 6 and assuming your sister left immediately at 18, you being at that point, there are at least 8 years of your relationship and interactions with her that are completely left out of this post that would have an effect on this. So what was your behavior toward your sister during that time?

NotYourMommyDear - Rare to see the golden child admit to their status and use their status to tell their parents that the favouritism has caused long term damage. Since the s**pegoat child will always be ignored when the favouritism is brought up.. NTA from this s**pegoat. You tried. Most golden children never realise and if they do, never bother.

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PotentialityKnocks - INFO: There’s...a lot omitted here. If any favoritism stopped when you were 6, that’s a long time for her to continue to resent you. What happened when you were older? What was your relationship like when you were teens?

hotof404 - Well, all the s**pegoat kids are out here scapegoating OP instead of blaming their own families. Hypocrites.

Black_Dragon- - NTA yours parents are awful. I can't even fathom what your poor sister might have gone through.

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cashycallow - NTA - it doesn’t seem like your parents want to accept that her resentment towards you has to do with their parenting. You put it bluntly (little rude but whatever) and I feel like even if you fluffed it up and tried to make them feel better while pointing that out, they still wouldn’t have taken well to being called out.

ObjectiveCoelacanth - NTA. I think all the I N F O posts are missing that it doesn't need to be n**arious - OP was a *child*, so while they stopped taking all their sister's things at a young age, they would still have been favoured and behaved spoiled while they lived together. That's plenty to drive the sister away, and something OP has to grapple with now as an adult.

sacchilax - NTA. Both you and your sister are victims of your parents. You the victim because you were raised and conditioned a certain way which you had no control over. Same for your sister. The resentment that was built came not from your hands but the hands of your parents. By 10 years old the damage has already been done,

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and while you may have not taken any more of your sisters items the treatment your parents had towards you versus her I’m sure did not change- and you can’t control that. It’s unfortunate that the result is the both of you having to suffer with the lack of a relationship, but this is truly not your fault. Hopefully you sister can see that someday and forgive you.

kayb1987 - Info. What happened between the ages of 6-18? You are leaving a lot out of the story. Hell I don't even have many memories from before I was 6 years old. I highly doubt she doesn't talk to you because as a toddler you stole her toys.

[Reddit User] - NTA. maybe you could’ve said it differently. but i doubt your parents would have understood it any better. and i sincerely doubt they will ever own up to their failings as parents. i’m so sorry your relationship with your sister is non existent because of them. i hope that one day it can be repaired.

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These takes spotlight the pain of favoritism, but do they offer a path to mend ties, or just validate the callout?

This woman’s bold words to her parents peeled back the layers of a childhood that cost her a sister. By naming their favoritism as the root of the rift, she sought truth over comfort, but her harsh delivery left wounds. A softer approach might open doors, but her courage to speak up resonates. Would you call out parents for past mistakes, or tread lightly to keep the peace? Share your stories below!

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