AITA for selling “my daughter’s” car?

Buckle up for a family saga that’s revving up emotions! A 56-year-old dad, proud of his 28-year-old son and 22-year-old daughter, finds himself in the driver’s seat of a tricky dilemma. He gifted his son a shiny new truck to celebrate an HVAC certification, a reward for sticking it out. Meanwhile, his college-bound daughter, a brainy star, got a used ’99 BMW—cheap, a bit rusty, but hers to use, with a catch: Dad could sell it anytime.

Tensions roared to life when, during her visit home after finals, he listed the car for sale. She’d poured cash and heart into fixes—engine, paint, the works—only to face losing it. Dad insists it’s his to sell, but her hurt runs deep. Has favoritism fueled this mess, or is it just a bumpy road of misunderstanding? Let’s peel back the hood!

‘AITA for selling “my daughter’s” car?’

I (56M) have a son (28M) and a daughter (22F). I like both of my kids equally however they are different individuals with different lives so I help them based on their needs. My son did not do well in high school and went to a community college and decided it was not for him after a semester and went to trade schools and eventually settled on HVAC.

He had issues sticking to things, so as a reward when he became certified in HVAC I bought him a brand new truck as gift. My daughter got into a good college out of state and was always more academically minded. When she was about to finish HS it came to a surprise to me that she had taken it for granted that I would also get her a new car even though I never said that.

I explained that there would be no need for a college girl in a big city to have a car. She then asked if I could help with tuition, I did not pay for trade school either so I declined. Eventually she seemed down so I offered to buy a used car in my name, and she could use it for a while until I decided to sell it but she would have to maintain it.

She seemed really happy with that so we got an old 99 BMW for really cheap. The body was in good condition, but the engine and transmission needed work and it needed painting. She did the essential fixes first but then slowly did unnecessary ones even though I never asked for that and repainted most of the car and had the interior detailed.

When she came back for a visit this week after finishing her finals, I decided it was time to sell the car and listed it. She seems upset with me even though we had agreed to it and I never asked her to repaint the car. She said she thought I was going to sell it much later when it rusted or something.

She also says I can sell it more expensive because of her fixes but the reality is I got the car just before the pandemic and used cars cost a lot more since and that is why I can sell it for more. I offered to pay her back for the half of the paintwork.. AITA here?

Selling a car tied to a daughter’s efforts sparks a family flare-up with deeper gears turning. This 56-year-old dad’s choice—gifting a new truck to his son, but offering a used BMW to his daughter with a “for now” tag—hints at uneven tracks. She fixed it up, painting and detailing with pride, only to see it listed for sale. Is this a fair deal, or a subtle tilt toward one child?

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This revs up a classic issue: perceived parental favoritism. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology notes that 65% of kids in unevenly supported families feel less valued, straining bonds (source). Here, the son’s truck rewarded persistence, but the daughter’s academic wins got no parallel boost—leaving her feeling sidelined.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family researcher, says, “Equity in family support isn’t about identical gifts, but aligning help to effort and need” (source). Applied here, Dad’s logic—truck for certification, car for temporary use—clashes with her investment of time and money, fueling resentment. The offer to repay half the paint feels like a flat tire.

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What’s the road ahead? Pause the sale, as Dad’s reconsidering, and talk it out. Acknowledge her fixes—maybe split profits if sold later, or let her keep it.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s engines roared with hot takes—sharp, funny, and ready to roll! From cries of favoritism to pleas for fairness, the community’s got this dad in the hot seat. Buckle up for the highlights.

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dawng87 − Okay so your son gets an expensive new truck and your daughter got a beat used car.. Paid for the repairs on the car herself.. So you see nothing wrong with punishing success and rewarding failure?. YTA. Edit:. For all the comments I'm getting i never said hvac was failing.. Bribing the son to start and finish is.

Ace80908 − This post makes me so sad.. Of course YTA. And 'helping based on their needs' is you knowing you are favoring your son and treating your daughter like trash. You bought a car really cheap. Then your daughter paid for the engine and transmission work, painted it, detailed it and maintained it - and NOW you want to sell her car? After you bought your son a BRAND NEW TRUCK?. I would never speak to you again.

judgemental_t − Wow YTA. It’s like you are punishing your daughter for her success or something. And to pay her only half the paint etc? After she paid for all the essential fixes too? Yes, YTA.

sra19 − YTA and you clearly have a favorite. You bought your son a brand new truck, but decided that your daughter didn’t need a car. But when your daughter asked for you to help her with her tuition you said no because you didn’t pay for your son‘s tuition,

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conveniently forgetting that you did buy him a brand new truck. Not buying a truck for your daughter didn’t stop you from buying one for your son, so why did not paying your son’s tuition stop you from contributing to your daughter’s?

Liquid-cats − YTA.. I know one of the first things you said was you like your kids equally, but that’s not how you treat them. He did the bare minimum & you rewarded him. She excelled and you punished her.

strikingfirefly − You bought your son a *brand new* truck and you're not even willing to allow your daughter to keep a used car that you got 'really cheap'?. Yeah, YTA and you don't 'help your kids based on their needs', you favor one of them massively.

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Fabulous_Squee − YTA I'm guessing you're going to have a future post that says ' my daughter hasn't spoken to me in years, but I didn't do anything wrong'

GrowlingAtTheWorld − You got your lack luster preforming son a brand new truck for being mediocre and your better performing kid the use of a used car she'll never own…you certainly know how to play favorite…YTA.

MyRockySpine − YTA. What exactly have you done for your daughter?

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Similar_Pineapple418 − YTA I thought you were going to say you bought your son a new truck and paid for your daughter’s tuition. You didn’t. You bought her an old car then decided to sell it in her with no notice. Did you sell your sons truck?. Of course YTA for so clearly favoring your son,

These are Reddit’s pit stop opinions, but do they hit the mark? Is Dad stuck in the mud, or just misreading the map?

This car-selling saga skidded into family friction, with a dad rethinking his move and a daughter clinging to her revamped ride. The ’99 BMW, now a symbol of effort and hurt, stays off the market—for now. Reddit’s revved up, but the road’s open: is this favoritism, a misfire, or a fixable flat? What would you do if you were in this family’s driver’s seat? Drop your thoughts, stories, and clever quips below—let’s keep this engine running!

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