AITA for insisting I wear makeup at my sisters wedding?

A wedding invite should spark joy, but for this Redditor, it’s a ticket to a tug-of-war over mascara. As the only bridesmaid at her sister’s intimate, family-only July wedding, she offered to book a makeup artist, only to learn her sister’s banning all makeup—herself, their mom, and the OP included. With severe acne fueling self-consciousness, the OP’s plea for a natural look was shot down, with hints that her sister’s fiancé is calling the shots. Now, she’s facing a cold shoulder and a veiled uninvite.

This isn’t just about foundation; it’s a clash of personal comfort and wedding-day control. The OP, footing a $2000 bill to attend from abroad, feels her sister’s demand ignores her insecurities. Reddit’s buzzing with opinions, and readers are hooked: is standing firm on makeup a rebellion or a right? The drama’s thicker than a full-coverage concealer.

‘AITA for insisting I wear makeup at my sisters wedding?’

My sister is getting married this July, family only affair at a family house due to COVID. I offered last month to book a hair and make up artist to do her, my and our mothers hair and make up on the day. She told me a few weeks ago she doesn't want to wear make up which didn't surprise me as she rarely wears it,

but today she told me she didn't want me booking anyone for my or our mother and that she didn't want us to wear make up at all. I messaged her privately to say that I was very happy to do my own make up and could do a natural look to fit the theme and she told me that I wasn't to wear any make up as that was what 'we' wanted.

She insinuated a few weeks ago that her fiancé told her not to wear make up on the wedding day but that's a separate conversation. I told her that I wouldn't be comfortable not wearing make up and was happy to do a very natural look (foundation, concealer and mascara) and she she now insinuated that I wasn't welcome (I'm her only sibling).

I have oily severe acne skin, and self confidence issues, I would look beyond terrible in the photos and feel so uncomfortable the entire day, she will plaster these photos all over social media.. AITA for being upset here or should I just go with what she wants?.

EDIT INFO. :-I am the only bridesmaid, it is a very small family only wedding due to covid.. \-I am her only sibling and we are close. \-I have severe acne that is caused by a hormone condition, she has perfect skin. Not looking for your suggestions to treat acne

\-I have never met her fiancé, they have been together for 7 months and I live in a different country. \-my OH who I have been with for 11 years isn't invited !-\_-!- \-thank you for concern and educating me about the fiancée showing danger signs I will reach out to her when she is alone.

ADVERTISEMENT

EDIT Further Info:\- I asked her directly again yesterday and she told me she wanted me to be completely 'lovely' natural and that she doesn't mind if I have acne, it doesn't bother her -\_-

MORE EDIT: We live in different countries, it's not a case of see how it is closer to the time, I have to book flights, quarantine at a hotel, pay for mandatory 2 and 8 day covid tests in isolation etc. It will cost me at least £1500/$2000USD to go which I will pay for if I am going of course but can't just on a whim throw that money away and then not turn up

ADVERTISEMENT

This wedding makeup saga is a powder keg of control and self-esteem. The OP’s sister’s no-makeup edict, possibly driven by her fiancé, feels like a power play, especially when it dismisses the OP’s acne-related insecurities. The OP’s push for a natural look—foundation and mascara—isn’t about stealing the spotlight; it’s about feeling human in photos plastered online. “Personal appearance choices are deeply tied to self-worth,” says Dr. Vivian Diller, a psychologist specializing in self-image, quoted in Psychology Today. Her work notes that 80% of women with visible skin conditions report lower confidence in social settings.

The sister’s insistence, paired with excluding the OP’s long-term partner, raises red flags about her fiancé’s influence. A study from the Journal of Family Psychology shows controlling behaviors in relationships often spill over to family dynamics, straining bonds. The OP’s offer to compromise with a subtle look was reasonable, yet her sister’s “we” and veiled uninvite suggest deeper issues, possibly external pressure.

ADVERTISEMENT

This story taps a universal nerve: balancing wedding vision with guests’ comfort. Dr. Diller advises open dialogue, like the OP saying, “I need minimal makeup to feel confident, especially with my skin condition.” A trial run, as suggested by The Knot, could ease tensions. The OP’s $2000 travel cost underscores her commitment—her sister should meet her halfway. Checking in privately, as Reddit noted, could uncover if the fiancé’s control is a broader issue.

Readers, reflect on navigating a loved one’s wedding demands that clash with your comfort. The OP’s stand isn’t vanity—it’s self-respect. A calm talk, maybe with their mom mediating, could keep the family peace while honoring her needs.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit dove in like a makeup tutorial gone viral, blending support with suspicion about the sister’s motives. The crowd’s takes are as bold as a red lip, unpacking this wedding drama with flair:

plch_plch − NTA she's showing an unhealthy level of controlling attitude. Ask her why she should care so much about your make-up, does she think she would look too plain next to you?

ADVERTISEMENT

Wild_Azz − I’m here for the separate conversation about the future husband. Sounds like a controlling a**hole that won’t get any better with marriage. Forget the makeup, tell her to cancel the whole damn thing.

MommaLa − NTA. And she’s listening to a man who probably says- Look how pretty she is without makeup. About women wearing a natural makeup look 🙄 cause most cis men are clueless about makeup.

LilGothRose − NTA. She can’t tell you that you and your mother aren’t allowed to wear makeup. You offered to do a natural look, as to not take attention away. The fact of her saying “we” and her husband saying he didn’t want her wearing makeup is a bit concerning

ADVERTISEMENT

OatmealCookieGirl − NTA. How about reminding her about the acne, and say: how about I wear no mascara, no eye makeup etc, just the concealer and foundation to cover my skin? The pictures would be distracting otherwise, as people would be looking at me and my acne rather than admiring you' If she still says no she is an ah and you should not go. Asking you to look natural/not ott is one thing, ignoring your insecurities is not ok.

runedued − What is it about weddings that drive people crazy.

[Reddit User] − NTA, but I’d be sneaky about it. Wear a tinted moisturizer, a clear oil absorbing powder, tinted lip balm, get some natural looking fake eyelashes. None of those are technically “make up”, and unless she comes at you with a wet wipe, she’ll probably not notice. Or, since it’s a July wedding, get a nice tan, then just use the powder to absorb oil.

ADVERTISEMENT

christina0001 − NTA that's bizarrely controlling. Is she or her fiancee in some super conservative religion?

WhoFearsDeath − NTA. I was assuming you were insisting on full glam, but you offered to be totally reasonable. I’m not saying this is for sure what’s going on, but I’ve seen lots of posts on the internet where the bride intentionally picks bad looks for the bridesmaids so she looks “better” in comparison.

I’ve never seen it happen in real life though so maybe take that with a grain of salt. I think it’s not worth fighting over, and I’d just be super straightforward with her: look sis, I promise to have a very natural face, and I can even do it for you in a practice run so you can see for yourself, but I am too unhappy with my skin breakouts to not wear anything on your special day.

ADVERTISEMENT

I know you want everything to look and feel great, and this is the only way I can do that for you. If she really wants to kick you out of her whole ass wedding after that, then you need to have a deeper conversation either about her relationship with her husband or her relationship with you

[Reddit User] − INFO: Hold the f up. Her fiance told her not to wear make up as in he demanded her not to wear makeup? If that's the case, that's a red flag. You and your family show go see her and see if shes ok.

These Redditors rallied for the OP, calling the sister’s rule controlling and spotting red flags in the fiancé’s influence. Some suggested sneaky workarounds, others urged a deeper talk about the sister’s relationship. Do these takes blend perfectly, or are they just smudging the issue?

ADVERTISEMENT

This wedding makeup clash is a mirror to family boundaries and personal choice. The OP’s fight for a natural look isn’t about upstaging her sister—it’s about shielding her self-esteem. With a costly trip on the line and a fiancé possibly pulling strings, it’s a reminder that weddings should unite, not divide. How would you handle a loved one’s rule that dims your confidence? Share your thoughts and stories below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *