AITA for saying I’m bilingual when I know ASL?

In the lively hum of a skatepark hangout, a 16-year-old girl bonded with friends, sharing stories of language and identity. Raised with American Sign Language (ASL) as her first tongue due to her deaf family, she proudly called herself bilingual. But a new friend’s scornful rant, branding ASL as “glorified Morse code” and devoid of culture, turned the vibe sour.

Her defense of ASL’s legitimacy sparked a group chat storm. This Reddit tale signs a vibrant story of language pride and ableism, where cultural ignorance meets fierce conviction. Let’s dive into this ASL showdown and explore what it reveals about respect and identity.

‘AITA for saying I’m bilingual when I know ASL?’

I (16 f) was with my friends, and a new girl that my other friends know (18f). She was saying how she was sorry if sometimes she has trouble speaking because English isn’t her first language. I told her it was fine and it wasn’t mine either. And we moved on.

Later that day, we were at the skatepark and our ethnicities came up. She was bragging about knowing Spanish because her mom was from Mexico. And she turned to me and asked what other language I spoke. I told her ASL. She didn’t like that. She went on a whole rant about how it wasn’t a ‘real language’ because it didn’t have culture.

She kept saying it was ‘glorified Morse code’ because all you need to do is know the alphabet. I tired telling her that wasn’t true and it has grammar very different than normal English. Eventually I just said we should drop it but she wouldn’t.

She is currently spamming the group chat with articles about how easy it is to learn or social media posts about how ASL isn’t a language. And even scientific papers about that Gorilla that ‘knew sign language’. Spoiler alert, it didn’t. Our friend group is divided because on one hand ASL might be easier to learn than most languages but some think it’s not even a real language.. AITA?

For context: Some of my family members are deaf/HOH. Because of that, everyone in my family knows ASL. It was actually my first language because my dad is deaf. Most people don’t know i know ASL because there usually isn’t a reason for me to sign.

This skatepark spat lays bare the sting of ableism in dismissing ASL. The girl’s bilingual claim is valid—ASL is a distinct language with unique grammar, syntax, and a rich Deaf culture. Her friend’s “Morse code” jab reflects ignorance, not fact, and denies the lived experience of Deaf communities.

Linguist Dr. Carol Padden notes in Inside Deaf Culture, “ASL is a fully developed language, recognized legally and academically, with cultural depth tied to Deaf identity.” Studies show ASL meets all linguistic criteria, used by over 500,000 Americans. The friend’s reliance on misleading sources, like the gorilla myth, fuels harmful stereotypes.

The girl’s defense was spot-on, though dropping the topic was wise to de-escalate. Her friend needs to educate herself—perhaps via Deaf-led resources. The girl could share a quick fact to nudge understanding without obligation.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit lit up like a signed poetry slam—imagine a virtual Deaf café buzzing with passion! Most cheered the girl, slamming her friend’s ableist ignorance.

gertyorkes − NTA. That’s some weird ableist nonsense. It’s totally another language - hell, it’s right there in the acronym.

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protogenic_ − 1000% NTA. I am fluent in American Sign Language as well and it is definitely a foreign language; all fifty states to some extent (some more than others) recognize it as a foreign language. Your acquaintance is mistaken and ignorant of ASL and deaf culture and needs to step off.

SheikahBun − NTA and that girl sounds so draining tbh. 🙄 ASL *is* a language. People use it to communicate. And how does she get off saying it doesn't have a culture??? So, do the deaf/HOH/mute communities just not exist to her???? Does the history and origination of the language not count???. You're NTA but she is.

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Alternative-Bend-396 − Linguist here. Tell your friend I said she's wrong and a bigot. If it was so easy to learn then how come the entire world hasn't learned it by now to accommodate one of the biggest communities?

There are extremely subtle nuances in sign language that can change the entire word. DJ Deaf Tunez has some great comedic skits showing this. There are over 300 known sign languages and it is suspected there's a lot of undiscovered.. Nta.

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Shandrith − NTA! ASL is absolutely it's own language, Deaf culture exists and she needs to have her abelism curbed

OkeyDokey234 − If it’s that easy to learn, let her prove it by learning it.

totallynotalaskan − NTA. ASL is literally classified as its own language, so yes, you *are* bilingual if you can use ASL. Your “friend” is ableist. It’s easy to learn *some* signs, like the alphabet and basic conversation starters (like “Hello, my name is ____”), but it’s actually quite difficult to master.

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I took ASL 101, 102 and 201 in high school as part of my Foreign Language class, and it is *so* not “glorified Morse code”. There’s sentence structure, facial expressions and their context in conversation, directional signing, regional signs that are only found in specific areas, and SO much more.

QuackLikeMe − NTA. Your friend is ignorant about Deaf culture and needs to shut up about things she doesn’t know.

thirdtryisthecharm − NTA. ASL absolutely does have a culture, it's just not an ethnic culture necessarily.

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SpicyMustFlow − Let me just calm down here for a second. WHAT IN THE G-D IGNORANT, ABLEIST- whew, ok ok I'm calm. Yup. So: if ASL wasn't a 'real language' then hearing kids would not be able to fulfill foreign language immersion studies at Gallaudet University in DC.

If sign languages aren't 'real languages', then New Zealand would not have NZSL as an *official* language along with English and te reo Maori. Deaf people absolutely have a culture, a community, and a language of their own. Your friend needs to sit her ignorant b**t down and do some googling.. NTA

But do these Reddit signs convey the full story, or are they just amplifying the drama?

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This ASL clash spins a tale of pride versus prejudice, where a teen’s bilingual identity was challenged by ableist scorn. Her stand for ASL’s legitimacy was bold, but was her friend’s ignorance worth the fight? Language carries culture, and respect matters. What would you do when someone dismisses.

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