AITA For Inviting my Twin Sister Wedding Dress Shopping And Not Her Mother?

Imagine stumbling across your mirror image in a bustling mall at 14, only to learn she’s your twin, raised by the family that gave you up. For this Redditor, that chance encounter with her sister Lena sparked a bond, but left a shadow of pain tied to her biological mother’s rejection. Now, planning her wedding, she invited Lena to dress shop, but left out her bio-mom, who branded her “bad luck” at birth. The decision stirred a social media storm.

The bio-mom’s outrage, blasting the OP as “cruel,” feels like a plot twist nobody saw coming. With no relationship to speak of, her demand for inclusion stunned the OP, whose adoptive mom was by her side, beaming. This tale of chosen family versus blood ties pulls readers in: is it wrong to exclude someone who once excluded you? The Reddit verdict is loud and clear.

‘AITA For Inviting my Twin Sister Wedding Dress Shopping And Not Her Mother?’

$I \[33F\] was adopted shortly after birth. I have an identical twin sister, Lena. She was *not* put up for adoption, because I was the 13th baby, and she was only the 12th. She was raised not knowing I existed, as were all of her siblings. I knew, because originally my parents were supposed to adopt both of us.$

$Over the years, things have been rocky, but we're fairly close. We don't talk about her parents and I see them very rarely, but know most of my bio-siblings and nieces and nephews. My fiancé Damien {34M} proposed in June. I invited Lena and one of my nieces, Callie \[16\] to be my MOH and a bridesmaid respectively.$

This wedding dress drama cuts deep, exposing the raw edges of adoption and family boundaries. The OP’s choice to invite her twin sister Lena but not her biological mother wasn’t just logistical—it was a stand for self-respect. The bio-mom’s claim of being slighted reeks of entitlement, especially after abandoning the OP for superstitious reasons. “Adoptees often face complex emotions when reconnecting with birth families,” says Dr. David Brodzinsky, an adoption expert quoted in Psychology Today. His work highlights how such reunions can stir both connection and rejection.

The bio-mom’s absence from the OP’s life—zero relationship, rare contact—makes her outrage seem more about control than care. A study from the Child Welfare Information Gateway notes that 60% of adoptees feel no obligation to birth parents who severed ties. The OP’s bond with Lena, built over years, stands in stark contrast to the bio-mom’s distant role. Her public meltdown on social media only amplifies the disconnect.

This story taps a broader issue: navigating boundaries in blended or adoptive families. Dr. Brodzinsky advises adoptees to “prioritize relationships that affirm their worth.” The OP’s decision to include her adoptive mom and sister reflects this, honoring those who’ve shown up. For the bio-mom, a calm but firm email clarifying boundaries—like, “I’m focusing on those closest to me for this event”—could prevent further drama. Blocking her, as Reddit suggests, might also protect the OP’s peace.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit dove into this one like it’s the season finale of a family drama, tossing out support with a side of shade. The community’s takes are as bold as a wedding toast, and they’re not holding back:

These Redditors cheered the OP’s boundary-setting, calling the bio-mom’s reaction audacious and her “bad luck” excuse absurd. Some urged blocking her to dodge wedding-day chaos, while others saw her outburst as a grab for attention. But do these fiery opinions capture the whole story, or are they just adding glitter to the gown?

This story of a wedding dress outing is a masterclass in choosing your tribe. The OP’s decision to exclude her bio-mom wasn’t about spite—it was about surrounding herself with love that’s earned, not demanded. Her twin’s presence honored their hard-won bond, while the bio-mom’s tantrum only underscored her absence. What would you do if a distant relative tried to crash your milestone moment? Share your thoughts and experiences below!