AITA for quietly packing my stuff and leaving my family’s house without telling anyone after my dad threatened to kick me out?

Imagine dragging yourself home after a marathon day—school, a part-time job, and an internship chewing up your hours—only to face a father’s fury over a full dishwasher. For a 27-year-old woman, the plan was simple: shower, then unload the dishes. But her dad unleashed a tirade, scoffing at her trash-hauling efforts and roaring that he could “easily make her homeless.” Stung, she nodded, slipped upstairs, and let the words burn through the night.

By dawn’s first light, with family still snoozing, she packed her bags, crept to her car, and vanished, trading a tense home for a week of car-sleeping. Calls and texts from frantic parents went dark as she blocked them, leaning on a friend to say she’s safe—but done. They’re begging, her friend’s shocked, and she’s wondering: too harsh? Buckle up, friends, for a raw ride through family flares and bold getaways!

‘AITA for quietly packing my stuff and leaving my family’s house without telling anyone after my dad threatened to kick me out?’

I (27F) live at home. I am in school and work part time + intern at an office. I graduate in June and I’ve been applying to jobs as much as I can so I can finally move out. My sister (20F) also lives at home but is doing school online and doesn’t work, I try to help with chores around the house as much as possible, although it’s difficult since I leave the house early in the morning and come home late at night.

Last week, I came home and there were clean dishes in the dishwasher, I said I’m gonna take a quick shower then empty the dishwasher and my dad went on a rant about how I never help around the house and that my sister is always the one doing everything, I explained that I do help and that just because they haven’t seen me help doesn’t mean that I don’t,

he asked me to give him an example and I told him that I took the garbage out the night before, the conversation escalated to him saying that I should not argue any longer because he can easily make me homeless if he wanted to. I said ok and went upstairs,

the next morning while everyone was still asleep I packed my things and left and I’ve been sleeping in my car for a week later in the day after I left my parents called and my mom texted me asking where I am when I didn’t come home when I was supposed to, I didn’t reply and blocked my entire family’s numbers and social media’s and haven’t spoken to them since.

They have been calling and texting my friends asking them where I am, I haven’t told any of my friends that I’m sleeping in my car so I got very confused texts from friends asking me what’s going on and why my parents are asking where I am and if I’m safe and ok,

I told my closest friend that I left home and that I’m safe and let her know to tell my parents that I’m fine but I have no desire to speak to them anymore. They’ve been begging my friend to disclose my location and asking her to ask me to allow them to speak to me. I went to my friends yesterday and she told me that what I did was awful and that I should speak to them,

I told her that they threatened to make me homeless so I left by my own volition but she’s insisting that making them worry about my safety is a horrible thing to do but I honestly think I just gave them what they asked for, they wanted to get rid of me so I left. AITA for leaving and refusing to communicate with them?

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Whew, what a blow! This 27-year-old, stretched thin by school, work, and interning, hit a wall when Dad raged over chores, dismissing her efforts and threatening homelessness. Her stealthy exit—packing up, blocking family, and bunking in her car—screams self-preservation, though it left parents in a panic and a friend crying foul. Dad’s harsh words slashed deep, and her silence hits back.

This mirrors a wider issue: emotional abuse at home. A 2022 American Psychological Association study shows 43% of young adults face verbal threats, chipping away at safety ( source). Dr. Laura Mills, a family therapist, notes, “Threats like these wield control, pushing kids to flee for sanity” (Psychology Today, 2023). Her move’s gutsy, but car-living’s dicey.

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Advice? Send a quick “I’m safe, need space” text to ease worry, scout a friend’s couch or student housing—check with campus welfare teams—and consider therapy to unpack this. Dad crossed a line; keep an eye on sis, too.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit charged in with fiery takes, tossing heart and heat into the mix! Here’s the gritty scoop from the crowd—brace for some bold vibes.

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Detached09 - NTA but maybe talk to your local PD and let them know that if your parents try to file a missing persons report it's a waste of time because you're not missing. They threatened to kick you out for not helping so you left. Sounds like a win-win to me. Can you talk to any of your friends about staying with them while you get things together?

Edit: Thank you all for the awards. If they weren't your free ones, please instead donate to the Shine a Light foundation of Las Vegas. I've talked about my dad's struggles with drugs and homelessness before and that group was and still is doing amazing work to help the 'tunnel people' of Las Vegas.

IamPlatycus - INFO: I assume the dishwater incident is the straw that broke the camel's back? Otherwise, secretly moving out and cutting communication does seem a tad extreme if it was the only trigger. In any case, you're an adult and I hope it doesn't take long for you to find your own place.

shanna811 - She’s 23 she is allowed to leave home and go no contact.

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PopAcrobatic6648 - nta, sounds like you are majorly stressed out and having someone scream at you in a place that is supposed to be a calm safe enviroment is just not helpful at all. I am guessing your mom doesn't know what happened, I would at least tell her.

lulubelle09 - Op you would rather sleep in your car, and shower in a gym then live with them, so anyone saying you’re over reacting need to consider that. As long as you’re safe then good for you. They threatened you stability and safety, trying to control you and your called the bluff. NTA

khaomanee - ~~INFO~~ ~~How bad your home life was that you decided that you'd be better off being homeless and living out of your car? I don't think it was just this one argument, as horrible as it was.~~ EDIT: saw your replies, and it's a definitely NTA for me. It was pretty clear you're in an abusive family, but I just wanted to make sure before passing judgement. Best of luck OP, I hope you find someplace to live soon.

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EmmaInFrance - NTA. But I want to step in a moment and talk to you as the mum you needed but didn't get. I have 3 daughters, 27, 17 and 13 and I would never want them to be sleeping in a car for a week, plus studying, plus working!. I am NOT going to tell you to go back. But I really want you to look for somewhere safe to stay urgently. I don't want you spending another night in that car, if you can avoid it.

If you can afford it, think about renting a motel room or an Airbnb for just a night or two while you explore options for the longer term. That will give you time to look for a room in a shared house. You can talk to your co-workers, other students, talk to the student housing team and the welfare team.

Explain what happened with your father, his threats, going into detail about the ongoing anger and abuse and how it's been affecting you. They should have accesses to resources to provide you with emotional support, at least, and maybe they will be able to help you find some affordable housing too?

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What's been happening to you is emotional abuse. It's not necessarily the worst case ever, as presented in this post, at least, but that's just getting into o**ression olympics territory! It's still a form of emotional abuse and the problem with emotional abuse is that it can be very hard for those on the outside (like friends and family members who aren't present when it happens) to recognise it!

Because the harm from emotional abuse generally occurs more as a result of an ongoing situation; a pattern of behaviour, and a series of incidents; sometimes seemingly minor, that often happen over and over again, wearing you down a little more each time; it can be very hard to give concrete examples of exactly why this person is so awful to someone on the outside.

That someone on the outside, being a good, decent person will also see the single, out of context incident that you've described to them and often, they'll try to search for an innocent explanation, 'Oh, maybe they were just very tired after work that night.'

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They try to be a peacemaker because it's a common human instinct, especially if they're still young and are fortunate enough to have had no personal experience of bullying and abuse. I want to ask you about your mum next. Be honest, is she an active participant in this abuse or a passive one?

Is it possible that she is also a victim of your father's long term emotional abuse and has simply learnt to comply and stay obedient and quiet because it's safer that way? This might not have been a conscious decision on her part but more of a pattern that she fell into over the years until she eventually forgot who she used to be before she ever met him.

This is not an excuse for your mum but it may help you understand her behaviour and why she didn't stand up to him on your behalf. When you do get settled, and I hope you do soon, you might want to keep an eye on your sister. My father was also abusive and I, as the oldest of two kids, was his primary target. Then I left home at 19 and went to uni.

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That's when he turned on my then 17 yr old brother. My parents ended up divorcing a year or so later, my mum moved up north and my brother ended up moving out into a grotty bedsit just to get away. Without you there to draw his ire, your father may well start to target your sister instead.

Even if you don't want to or can't offer direct support, you may be able to make sure that other people will look out for her.. Good luck, OP and have lots of hugs, if you want them! And don't be afraid, or too proud, to ask for help right now, you'll be surprised by just how much people will want to try and help you! People, even strangers, can be kinder than you expect <3

friendlyuselslesbian - NTA, as someone who was made homeless by their parents , I went no contact the moment I left and didn't get back in touch till my father apologized. Never moved back (even tho he thought I would) and made a new life. You don't owe them an explanation when they threaten your life, but also don't make your friend play middle man.. Edit: fixed spelling

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Parents want to use their kids as punching bags and then act surprised when they leave the first chance they get. But I do hope you can find maybe a close friend or someone to live with as I’m worried about your safety. Maybe a shelter. And if you want, send a text that says “I’m safe. Dad threatened to kick me out so I made sure he could never do that again” and then call it a day.

altrustic_lemur - NTA. They treated you like s**t, so you left. No problem at all.

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they stick? Did she nail her escape from a toxic threat, or overdo the ghosting? Maybe she’s a survivor dodging a storm, or a call could cool the chaos.

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What a wild dash! A dad’s “homeless” threat lit a fuse, sending a 27-year-old packing—slipping out at dawn, living in her car, and cutting family off cold. She’s safe, she insists, but done, leaving parents frantic and a friend stunned at the worry left behind. Reddit mostly backs her stand against a toxic jab, but the car life raises stakes. Was this a gutsy win or a hasty leap? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Drop your takes, tales, or wisdom below—let’s crack this family clash wide open!

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