AITAH for buying off my family home and not giving it back to my uncles and fracturing the family?

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Nestled in the sun-kissed French countryside, a grand villa held a young man’s cherished childhood memories—summers with his grandfather, filled with laughter and love. Nath, now 29, seized a rare chance to buy back this family gem after his uncles sold it for quick cash.

But when they demanded to move back in, claiming family ties, old wounds and new tensions flared. This Reddit saga weaves a tale of legacy, loyalty, and bitter family rifts, where a dream home became a battleground. Let’s dive into this Côte d’Azur clash and explore what it reveals about family and fairness.

‘AITAH for buying off my family home and not giving it back to my uncles and fracturing the family?’

Hello! I am Nath, 29M and this is a story about my family, on my father side.. A bit of background first. We have always been well-off, so to speak. My grandfather founded a flourishing business in the '70s,

and he worked in it along with my father and my two uncles (let's call them Mark and Paul). He also built a beautiful villa in the French countryside near the Côte d'Azur, and I spent every summer there, forming some of the fondest memories I have.

When my grandad decided to retire in the early '00s, my uncles decided to cash out of the family enterprise and my dad bought their part of the business, and they went their separate ways. As I said, I used to spend my summers in my grandad's home, and we formed a special bond. I am named after him, the first grandchild, you know how thing goes.

He was instrumental in shaping me as the person I am today, and I will be forever grateful to him. Back to my uncles: they never married and never settled down, but both fancied themselves as excellent entrepreneurs. Spoiler: they weren't and in 20 odd years they burned through their money with wrong and shortsighted investments.

In 2020, when the pandemic hit, they were basically pennyless, and they asked my grandfather to move in with him in the Villa. Grandad was reluctant but accepted because he was getting old and didn't like to rely too much on the home nurse my dad was paying for. So they moved in the villa and started fancying themselves as the owners.

Time went on, my grandad's health got worse: he started to show signs of Dementia and, in order to settle his affairs before it was too late, he decided to liquidate his estate: he passed the Villa's deed in their name, My dad was not part of it because he got an apartment in the city.

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Every one of his children and grandchildren received an even partition of his money, and the rest of it (the biggest part) was put in a fund. The fund is managed by his best friend, a lawyer, who had the duty of liquidating it on my grandad's death. Grandad never wanted to go to a nursing home, so in exchange for a bigger sum of money on his death,

he had my uncles promise that they will take care of him because they were living in the same house. Of course, had they, in any way, put him in other people's full care (like a nursing home or my dad) the money would not be theirs anymore. Said lawyer also had power of attorney regarding my grandad's health.

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Of course, my uncles started talking about selling the house as soon as they signed the documents, saying that it costed too much (they were spending my grandad's money either way) and it was too big for the three of them alone. They needed the money, that much was clear. My dad even offered to help them in order to keep them in the house, but they refused.

So they sold the villa and got a nice, fat check. They rented an apartment in Italy and moved there with my grandad (who, right now, is totally gone due to his dementia) and hired a full-time nurse to help them (whose pay is split equally between them and my dad).

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The house was sold to a development company which, for reasons unknown, decided not to build over it but to sell it again. I really don't know why they pulled this move, but it's not the subject of my post. Ever since moving in the apartment, my uncles started to complain about how cramped it was (I s**t you not) and the “financial burden” of having to care for my grandad.

My dad always gives them money for grandad-related stuff, but they are always asking for more. My siblings and I always make a point to show up there at least once a week to help them and keep grandad company. I started working 3 years ago as soon as I graduated and used my part of the money to buy myself a car and invest in safe stocks (I am no expert on the matter, but one of my best friends is a financial advisor and I use him).

It has not grown exponentially, I am no millionaire, but I managed to recover the car money and add to it a little bit. Plus, I have my trust fund set up by my dad. It's safe to say that, between family and job, I am comfortable. So, when I saw that the development company was selling the Villa again, I started asking myself “Well, why the hell not!”

As I said, I have my the fondest memories in that place, and I always loved its position, near to the Côte d'Azur but still in a rustic and authentic area. I work from remote, so I have no problem moving to France. For days, it was just a fantasy, until I confided it to my dad. He said that he would love to see the house back in the family and even offered to cover for part of it, as a gift.

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I phoned a couple of contacts I have around banks, and they offered me pretty reasonable interest rates for a mortgage because my dad was available to co-sign with me. I took some time to decide because this will likely shape the next 20–30 years of my life, but I found that I really did want to keep that place.

So I said ok, let's do it. I decided not to tell my uncles because I wanted it to be a surprise for my grandad in one of his rare moments of lucidity.. We signed the documents last March and the deed become mine. I posted about it on my Instagram account with some sill caption about having grown up and being a true homeowner now.

You know, a stupid joke.. My uncles called me like three hours after seeing the post. At first, their tone was congratulatory, “Good for you for keeping the house in the family” and stuff like that.. Then Uncle M dropped the bomb, “So, when can we move in with grandad again?”. I laughed because I genuinely thought it was a joke.

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Spoiler: it wasn't. “Now that the house is back in the family, we can move him again and stay there. The apartment is so cramped”. It followed a very long discussion about the fact that I had a duty to take into my house, because of all the sacrifices they did for the family.. They even pulled the cart of me not caring for my grandad.

I told them, “Well, let's do this: I'll take only grandpa in the house, and you're free to do whatever you want”. Of course, they wouldn't hear of this. Not because they love grandpa (they really don't) but because they want his money and know that his lawyer always checks on things.

A couple of days later, they showed up at the house (it's like a 4 hours drive from where they live now) and started berating me. They even tried to get inside, saying I had no right to keep them out of their house. I asked how it was different from the development company, and they said that I was family and family is different.

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They left only after I dialed the police number on my phone. Since then, they started smearing my name on social media and in the family, telling everyone who will listen that I am a piece of s**t because I'd rather have my demented grandad live in a cramped apartment instead of the house he built.. People in the family know them very well and nobody really trusts them.

The uncles even tried to show up at my dad's office, but this backfired. They basically admitted that they are running out of money. See, I didn't know this, but they always had a gambling problem. Back when it was my grandad holding the purse, he managed to keep them in check, but since he started to lose his mind it became worse and worse.

My father presented them with the same proposal I did: let's have him in the Villa and continue to pay the nurse, but again they flatly refused, accusing him of being after the extra money. My uncles even drafted a “legal” letter to the lawyer, demanding him to order me to take them into my house.

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The lawyer laughed in their faces, of course, and told them that it wouldn't be a problem to move my grandad to my house, but he had no power to compel me to take them. Now we are at an impasse: my uncles refuse to let me, my dad and my siblings see our grandfather, only allowing the lawyer to visit from time to time.

They say that it's clear we don't care enough. As a consequence, the family basically split, My dad doesn't speak to them and limits himself to cover the costs of the nurse and the health bills. I find myself living in my dream home (I started renovating it on my own) but at the same time this new chapter,

which should have been a new beginning in my life is turning somewhat sour because all the beautiful memories of a happy family in that house did not live up to the present, in which that same happy family is split and sour.

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EDIT 1: to those who are suggesting to take legal action against the uncles: There are talks of involving the authorities. The attorney tells us that from what he can see and from the reports of the nurse they are not mistreating him and that's what matters, But there are talks in place about it. We would like to avoid a full suit.

This villa saga exposes the messy tangle of family ties and financial folly. Nath’s purchase honored his grandfather’s legacy, but his uncles’ demand to move in reeks of entitlement, fueled by their gambling debts and poor choices. Their refusal to let Nath care for his grandfather alone suggests a grip on his inheritance, not love.

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, “Healthy boundaries in families prevent resentment from festering.” Nath’s stand protects his investment and peace, while his uncles’ smear campaign reflects deflection. Studies show 40% of family disputes involve inheritance or property, often tied to financial mismanagement.

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Nath’s offer to house his grandfather was fair; his uncles’ rejection prioritizes their gain. Legal action, as some suggest, could free his grandfather, but Nath’s hesitation to escalate is wise for now. He should keep lines open with the lawyer and document interactions.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit lit up like a Riviera sunset with this one—picture a family reunion turned shouting match! Most backed Nath, slamming his uncles’ audacity after selling the villa.

Better-Turnover2783 − Since relationships are already destroyed, can you go to the authorities and your grandfather's power of attorney and file elder abuse charges?. They're holding your grandfather hostage and he's no doubt suffering.

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Adult or senior services can remove grandfather from their apartment and may be legally placed with you or a place of your father's choosing.. Get the POA to investigate for mismanagement of funds and have uncles charged too.. Good Luck 

No_Jaguar67 − Your dad should cut them off. See how fast they crumble when the funds turn off. NTA

RemiLeeHardy − NTA. Your uncles SOLD their rights to that house. Their names are no longer on the deed. Im so proud of you for buying that house back and for bringing it back into the family. Definitely bring your grandfather back. I've worked with residents who had dementia.

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They're not completely gone. They're still THEM. But their brains are just not nearly what it once was. But your grandfather would know where he is if he's moved back into the house. If I were you and your father, I'd take your uncles to court for your grandfathers custody.

But make sure youre up for it. Because taking care of a family member with dementia is not easy. Even with the assistance of a nurse. And also make sure the rest of the family are on board to visit grandfather more often as well.

Big_lt − Info. Can you talk to the lawyer (who seems to want your grandfather to be well cared for) and drop literally all of this. Prove that they're not caring for him and now mentally harming him by isolation

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Owenashi − NTA. They got what they wanted out of the house. They can't ask for it back just because they're too dumb when it comes to actually saving money. It's not like they even sold it to you directly. The second they handed it over to the development company, all ties they had to it were severed, even if someone from the family bought it back.

At this point, I'd invest in some security features like cameras if there aren't already some installed. These two may get more desperate to get the house then you'd expect, especially if you begin to successfully pry your grandfather out of their grip.

Nikkikikiriki − You’re not the a**hole. You honored your grandpa’s legacy, took responsibility, and gave the home a future. Your uncles sold it, blew through their money, and now want a handout. That’s on them, not you. Family dynamics suck sometimes, but you earned that home enjoy it.

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Rumbling-Axe − As POA, health related, the lawyer has final say over grandad’s place of living. The uncle’s have zero say if the lawyer chooses to exercise his authority….in the best interests of grandad.. NTA

Wandering_aimlessly9 − Nta. You are holding your uncle responsible for their actions. Something that has never happened before and they don’t like it. Look at you go. Eventually they will move on when grandpa passes bc there will be no more money. I’m so sorry that they are turning your excitement into pain.

Fearless-Speech-1131 − This is....nah...I don't think so

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Adorable_Click9074 − Isn't there a word limit?

But do these Reddit roars hold water, or are they just cheering for the underdog?

This French villa feud blends nostalgia with family betrayal, where Nath’s dream purchase became a lightning rod for his uncles’ greed. His stand was firm, but was it too cold? Family ties bend under financial strain, yet legacy matters. What would you do when family demands clash with your dreams? Share your thoughts—have you faced a family rift over a cherished heirloom or home?

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