AITA for refusing to pay for my cousins ER visit?

Envision a sunny day at a local park, laughter ringing out as family gathers for a baby shower, celebrating a couple’s first child due in October 2025. Kids scamper across the grass, the vibe is light, and love fills the air—until a cousin’s sudden bee stings turn joy to panic. An ambulance whisks him away, and relief follows: he’s okay! But the mood sours when he slaps the expecting couple with a $3,000 ER bill, claiming their party put him there.

They offer a little help, but balk at footing the whole tab with a baby on the way. Now family’s pointing fingers. Were they stingy, or stung by an unfair ask? Let’s buzz into this wild family flap!

‘AITA for refusing to pay for my cousins ER visit?’

My fiancée and I are expecting our first child in October. A few weekends ago we had a small baby shower at a local park. Both our families came over and it was a fun time. My cousin (27M) came with my aunt and while we didn’t interact too much I know he was playing with our younger cousins plus my nieces out on the grass.

My cousin unfortunately learned that he’s severely allergic to bees in the worst way possible. He got a couple stings on his foot and my aunt was trying to help him feel better. But as time went on he was just getting worse. He was dizzy said his heart was racing and you can see how badly he was sweating.

Next thing I know I’m hearing from my mom that my aunt just called 911 and the ambulance got there to take him away. We were all very scared for him but luckily we heard from her a few hours later that he’s going to be okay.

I spoke to my cousin some time after to ask how he’s been doing and he told me the ambulance plus the ER visit have f**ked him up. They’re charging close to $3k or around there and he’s saying I gotta pay it off.

I asked him why in the hell would I do that and he says it’s because of us that he got stung for being there at the park in the first place. I told him I’m really sorry that’s happening but no one forced him to come to our baby shower. We don’t have that kind of money to be spending when we have a baby on the way.

I understand right now he’s not working much so we can give him a small amount to help pay but no he expects us to cover the whole bill. Most of my family except my parents and sister are against me for not wanting to help him out since it was our party where he got stung.

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My moms in conflict with her sister (my aunt) over this. It sucks he’s in this mess with having to pay but frankly I don’t see how that’s our responsibility to pay, we already offered to help but not for the whole amount. That’s where everyone thinks we are being assholes. Guess just wanna ask if we are with how things are going.

This prickly park predicament stings with bad luck and bold demands. The couple hosted a sweet baby shower, but bee stings—a wild card of nature—sent their cousin to the ER. His $3,000 bill is a tough pill, yet pinning it on the hosts feels like a stretch, especially with a baby due. Offering some help was kind, but the full amount? That’s a hive of a different kind.

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Dr. Robert Brooks, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Personal responsibility matters—expecting others to cover unforeseen costs from natural events risks fracturing trust” (source: Dr. Robert Brooks). The cousin’s allergy, unknown until now, isn’t the couple’s fault; parks buzz with bees, not party planners’ orders. His demand overlooks their own financial load.

This ties to a bigger buzz: medical costs and blame. In the U.S., 60% of adults face surprise medical bills, often straining families (source: Kaiser Family Foundation). The cousin could explore Medicaid, hospital aid, or generic EpiPen options to ease the sting. For the couple, stick to a small gift—pay bills directly, not cash, and note it’s not liability.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Here’s the Reddit hive’s hot buzz—sharp, sassy, and ready to swarm! From jabs at bee control to cheers for standing firm, these takes don’t hold back. Dive into the honey!

MeowGirly − Nta. You were at a public park. He didn’t have a slip and fall on your sidewalk. He was at a park and got stung

noccie − NTA. You didn't bring the bees to the party.

personofpaper − NTA.. Imagine holding someone responsible for *outside*.

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C0pper-an0de − NTA! It’s not your fault he’s allergic to bees, and it’s not your fault he was stung in a *public* park. It’s very generous of you to offer to pay for part of it. You are under no obligation morally or legally to pay $3k.

Alert-Potato − NTA - you are absolutely not an a**hole for not paying these medical bills. If he hadn't come to your baby shower, he might have gone his whole life without ever finding out he's allergic to bees.

Or it's possible that he could gone grocery shopping that afternoon and been stung by a bee in the parking lot and still ended up with the same bills. It isn't his fault he's allergic, but it is his responsibility to manage the bills now that he knows.

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I presume based on the fact that he's facing prohibitive medical bills that you're in the US. He needs to apply for Medicaid, and include the ambulance and ER visit when the application asks for recent medical costs. He also needs to apply for the hospital's financial aid, and for aid through the ambulance service. Since he isn't working, he has plenty of time to tackle these things.

If you feel generous and want to help after he receives his reduced bills and Medicaid has either denied him or covered a portion, pay the bills directly. Do not offer him money. Also of note, Teva now offers a generic Adrenaclick (epipen alternative). I just picked up this year's two pack last week for $12.

[Reddit User] − NTA - It’s absurd to think you owe a penny. Unless you had bees flown in. You didn’t have the bees flown in, did you?

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Alarmed_Ste − NTA. But OP be careful giving money. Send an email stating it's a gift an no way involved in the medical incident. It can be taken as an admission of guilt in some cases an used against you in court.. Even in stupid cases like this.

MysticalTurnip − NTA. What world do we live in where basic medical attention causes rifts in families? :(

EffectOk5328 − INFO. Were the bees encased in a gender reveal piñata?

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InannasPocket − NTA. Sheesh, the audacity of some people!. You don't control the bees or your cousin's apparently unknown allergy just by hosting a party outdoors. Tell them you'll give him a cut of any earnings you make from your newfound magical control of insects /s.

Reddit’s buzzing with support, mocking the idea of bee-wrangling hosts and urging bill relief tips. Some warn: don’t gift cash without care—it might sting back! Did the couple dodge a bullet, or should they sweeten the pot? This tale’s got more buzz than a beehive at a picnic!

This baby shower turned bee-sting saga hums with chaos, cash, and family friction. A couple’s joyful day flipped to fear when a cousin’s allergy flared, landing a $3,000 bill at their feet. They offered a dab of help, but with a baby coming, the full tab feels like a swarm of nonsense. Family’s split, but where’s the line between kindness and duty? Were they right to buzz off the big bill, or should they chip in more? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Drop your thoughts, tales, or tips—let’s get this hive humming!

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