WIBTA for refusing to leave my home when my fiance’s teen kids come to visit?

Imagine the scene: boxes stacked, a fiance ready to call your place home, and the promise of a new chapter—until a curveball lands with a thud. A Reddit user welcomes her fiance, Sam, to move in, but his teens, Molly (16) and Ella (13), balk, clinging to a dream of their parents reuniting six years after a divorce. They’ve visited her cozy house before, savored her home-cooked meals, and joined fun outings, yet now they and their mom pitch a wild idea: she should vanish to a hotel during their sleepovers.

The request stings like a bee in a picnic basket. Sam insists the kids adjust, but they dig in, threatening to skip visits if she stays. Torn between her right to her own space and their plea for a “dad-only” vibe, she’s left wondering if standing firm makes her the villain. Buckle up—we’re untangling this family knot with a grin and a gasp!

‘WIBTA for refusing to leave my home when my fiance’s teen kids come to visit?’

A woman gears up for her fiance to move in, but his kids and ex push back, asking her to leave her own home during visits. Tensions rise as boundaries blur. Here’s the original Reddit post:

My fiance (Sam) is moving in with me full time at the end of next month when his lease is up. He has two kids 16 (Molly) and 13 (Ella) from a previous marriage. His kids want little to nothing to do with me as they are still hopeful their parents will reunite and they'll be a family again.

Recently the kids have stated they will not be comfortable being here if Sam is living with me full time as they will feel like they do not have a home with their dad anymore when they are with him. The kids have been to my house before and I've tried to make them feel welcome and prepare their favorite meals and plan outings with them.

The kids and their mom are requesting that I leave and get a hotel room or stay with friend/family member when they want to spend the night after Sam moves in full time so he can focus on just the kids and they can feel like my house is their dad's home and be more comfortable here.

Sam says no way, that this time they need to adjust and accept because he's catered to them and their whims since the divorce 6 years ago and he sees them every week. That it's not ok to ask me to leave my home when he's moving in with me and I've been really good to them when I see them. I already tolerate being excluded from a lot!

The kids are refusing to visit if I stay there when they come over and their mom is saying she won't make them because it will be uncomfortable and traumatic for them to see their dad living with me and they are still struggling from the divorce and need to see their parents as a united front. The custody agreement us 50/50 on paper but there is no set schedule.

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I know Sam wants his kids to come over and I don't blame him for that but I refuse to leave my home to make them happy and so it can be like I'm not part of the picture anymore.. WIBTA if I refuse to leave every other weekend??

Blended families can be a wild ride, like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle! This Reddit user faces a doozy: her fiance’s teens, still reeling from a divorce six years ago, want her out of her own home to feel it’s “Dad’s place.” She’s cooked their faves and planned fun days, yet they sideline her, egged on by Mom’s reunion hopes. Sam’s got her back, calling it unfair—bravo, sir!

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This ties to a bigger picture. A 2023 study shows 60% of kids in blended families struggle with adjustment (Source). Dr. Joshua Coleman, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Kids’ loyalty to a past family can clash with new realities” (Source). Here, the teens’ push, possibly fueled by Mom, tests boundaries.

Hold your ground, lady! Sam should chat with the kids—gently squash reunion dreams. Therapy could help them cope. Visit by day, ease them in.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Here come the Reddit squad with spicy, straight-up takes—served with a side of sass! The crew cheers our homeowner, roasting the idea of her packing bags for her own house. Mom and kids catch some shade for this wild ask. Check out these zingers:

PersonalFriend970 − NTA. It’s literally your house?? If they want to spend time with just their dad they should go and get a hotel room tf.

CakeisaDie − NTA. The divorce was 6 years ago. The kids can see their dad or not. Sam can stay with you or not. You leaving YOUR HOUSE is unacceptable.. Sam's ex is a TA for even suggesting that solution.

demaptchen − NTA. Good on Sam. He had the right response. It sucks that his kids and their mom are so disrespectful of you and your relationship with him. But six years since the divorce? My guess is their mom is feeding them lines about getting back together. Remember, any division in the relationship between Sam and the kids is their fault. Not yours. Not Sam's.

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shefalls1278 − This sounds like it might be a “mom” driven thing. Like the mom is telling them “if she goes away, we’ll be a family again.” Or “aren’t you uncomfortable going there?”

The mom should also be squashing the pipe dream of reunification if Sam has given no indication that is happening. Six years is an awful long time. It seems like girls who were 7 & 10 when their parents divorced would be unlikely to really remember what things were really like when their parents were married.

teresajs − NTA. But Sam living with you isn't going to work out. His Ex, and kids, are only going to make him (and by extension, you) miserable.. Sam needs to NOT move in.

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Radiant_Cat618 − NTA but is this relationship really sustainable? One of you is going to wind up resenting the other. I think Sam may need to explain to his kids that he is never going to be getting back with their mother. It’s been 6 years and it just not happening. If the kids insist on excluding you from everything, you need to decide if you really want the rest of your life to include being left out of family activities.

whatsmypassword73 − NTA, this doesn’t seem sustainable and everyone is pretty thrilled to throw you under the bus. You are the outsider and everyone is working hard to ensure it remains like that. I absolutely appreciate that divorced parents need to prioritize their children but this is beyond bananas. It won’t get any better, maybe he needs to find his own place because it would be a cold day in hell before I welcomed people into my home that didn’t have basic respect for me.

LivingDeeLife − NTA. The divorce was SIX years ago. If the children still haven't adjusted they need therapy and your fiance needs to go to court since it seems like his ex is manipulating them. So NTA. If they don't want to be at the house why doesn't he try them out for an event day every weekend instead to get them used to the idea of him being there and that the divorce is final.

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DrFishTaco − NTA- your fiancé needs to contact his lawyer.

TheZambonii − Sorry op, you're still NTA, but Sam definitely is. I don't see how this will work out. The kids really wish they could Parent Trap your SO and the ex, but your SO wants to move on and they're making it difficult along with the ex. Stay strong, stay united, and hopefully get Sam to talk some sense into his kids.

These are hot Reddit opinions, but do they hold water? Six years post-divorce, is this a mom-driven plot or kids’ genuine ache? Can this blend ever gel?

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This whirlwind of home turf, hopeful teens, and a bold stand has us glued to the drama! Our Reddit user’s digging in—refusing to flee her castle for her fiance’s kids—while Sam champions her corner. Six years after a split, the teens’ dream of a reunited family clashes with a new life brewing. It’s a messy mix, but she’s staking her claim with grit and grace! What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Drop your takes, tales, or cheeky nudges below—let’s stir this blended pot together!

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