AITA for not making my brother and his fiancée a wedding cake after they refused to pay me?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The kitchen smelled of sweet strawberries and betrayal as a 25-year-old baker faced a bitter standoff with her brother and his fiancée. What started as a heartfelt offer to craft their dream wedding cake for 75 guests turned sour when they balked at her fair $400 price tag, expecting a freebie instead. Days before the big day, their refusal to pay—paired with harsh words—pushed her to draw a hard line, even skipping the wedding. Now, her phone buzzes with angry texts, leaving her to question her stand.

This Reddit saga isn’t just about cake; it’s about respect, boundaries, and the cost of family favors. Readers are hooked, wondering if she was right to hold firm or if she iced out her brother too harshly. Was $400 worth the family fallout?

‘AITA for not making my brother and his fiancée a wedding cake after they refused to pay me?’

I (25F) love to bake. It's a big passion of mine and something I love to do as a hobby in my free time. I have an Instagram account that I use to show off my work, which is mainly the cakes I bake and decorate. I make these cakes for family and friends for birthday's or specials occasions (Christmas, Easter etc).

I never charge for these cakes, but am always compensated in some way by my family and friends. They'll usually gift me money or a gift card to my favorite restaurants, or make me a dish in return as a thank you. My younger brother (23M) and his fiancée (23F) were planning their wedding and asked me a few months in advance if I'd be able to make their cake for them?

This would be my biggest order yet. They wanted a three layer cake (wedding was 75 people), in the flavor of strawberry shortcake as it's their favorite. I was hesitant at first but agreed to make the cake, under the condition that I was compensated for it. I explained to them that this was the biggest order I've never had, and was going to take up a lot of my time, labor and be costly. I gave them a VERY fair price for a cake of that caliber.

They agreed. I also made it clear that I wanted to be paid before the wedding. I provided them multiple sketches of what the cake would look like. Made a practice batch of the actually cake so that they could sample, and they loved the cake and approved of everything. Fast forward to last week, 6 day's before the wedding.

I contacted my brother for my payment as I was going to get started on buying the rest of the ingredients for the cake (minus the strawberries I was going to do that closer to the date so they could be fresh). He insured me he'd drop off my cheque the next day. Next day came, brother went MIA and no cheque arrived, so I tried to contact him again.

Next day came, no cheque again. I offered to drive to their house and pick up the cheque, they made an excuse that is didn't work with their schedules. So the day before the wedding I contacted both my brother and his fiancée asking again.

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They blew up on me telling me that I'm a selfish b\*tch for charging them when I don't charge the rest of the family and that they refused to pay, but demanded me to make to cake. I said no, and explained my terms again. They called me a selfish AH and said I better make the damn cake. I again said no.

So the day of the wedding I decided not to attend, due to the amount of disrespect they showed me. Well my brother, his fiancée and her family are now BLOWING up my phone sending me all kinds of n**ty messages. My family are trying to stay out of it, but don't think I should've screwed them like that. AITA for not making the cake after they refused to pay me?. INFO: I was charging them $400.

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This cake catastrophe reveals the messy clash of family expectations and professional boundaries. The baker’s brother and fiancée agreed to pay $400 for a complex three-layer cake, only to renege at the last minute, banking on her goodwill to cave.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, writes in The Dance of Anger that “family members often exploit emotional ties to demand unpaid labor” (Psychology Today, link). Here, the couple’s refusal to pay, coupled with insults, shows a lack of respect for the baker’s time and skill. Her decision to withhold the cake was a clear boundary, not selfishness.

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This reflects a broader issue: undervaluing creative work. A 2024 survey by The Knot found that 35% of couples expect discounted or free services from family vendors, often leading to conflict (TheKnot.com, link). The baker’s $400 fee for a 75-person cake was a steal compared to market rates, which often exceed $800.

Dr. Lerner suggests setting clear terms upfront and sticking to them, as the baker did. For future family requests, she could require deposits or written agreements to avoid misunderstandings. Her stand reinforces that passion projects deserve fair compensation, encouraging readers to value their own work.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit crowd rolled up with pitchforks and applause, serving a delicious mix of support and snark. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the comments, hot off the press:

mdthomas − They knew exactly what they were doing. For anyone who is giving you a hard time about it, tell them 'You're certainly welcome to make a free wedding cake for them!'. NTA

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UsuallyWrite2 − NTA And for a 25YO woman, you have a remarkably good ability to set and enforce a boundary and not be guilted into doing things. I think many people in your situation would have made the cake out of a sense of guilt and then just been resentful afterwards for being out all the time and money.

Then they’d be posting here wondering if they’re the AH for being mad and asking for the money over and over after the fact. Your way or the other way, people would be mad. Because they’re entitled users. You shut it down on the front end.. Well done!

DbasedNYC − Your brother and his now wife are entitled AHs but you're definitely NTA. You were upfront about the charges and $400 for a 75 person wedding cake is pretty inexpensive. They AGREED to this and then tried to guilt you into doing it for free - AT THE LAST MINUTE.

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The fact that her family is piling on shows the familial level of entitlement going on there. This is the type of thing that would cause me to go either LC or NC. It doesn't sound like you'd be missing out on much.

NEUX2007 − NTA. All I read here is they're calling you a selfish AH because they have to pay for something that costs a lot of time and money.

Forward_Squirrel8879 − NTA - It doesn't matter that you usually don't charge or whether the amount you were charging was reasonable. They agreed to pay for the cake and agreed to the price that you set. If they had a problem with it, they could have negotiated with you or gone elsewhere for their cake. Instead, they waited to pushback until the last minute hoping you would give in under pressure/risk of looking bad..

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Send variations of this message to anyone who is bothering you/asks about this: 'When \[brother\] and \[SIL\] approached me months ago about making their wedding cake I agreed to make it but told them that I would need to charge based on the size and complexity of what they were asking for.

They said that they understood why I was charging and they agreed to the price that I set. Over the last few months I sent them sketches of the design for their approval and even made them a sample cake so that they could make sure they liked the flavor.

Throughout this entire process they never once questioned my decision to charge them and confirmed that they would pay closer to the wedding. It was only in the days before the wedding that they told me they refused to pay.

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I felt this was disrespectful of my time and that they were attempting to manipulate me into making the cake for free. Not having a cake at their wedding was a consequence of their actions. They had months to look into other options if they were unwilling to pay me for my work.'

chaos_coordinator_X3 − NTA- I’m so glad you stuck to your guns. In the future- require full payment at least 4 weeks before, no tasting or sketching till it’s made (offer a refund if they don’t like what you can offer).. Just print out the texts, and mail them to all the family. F**k them all

[Reddit User] − NTA. there's a massive difference between baking for fun/small business and a wedding cake for 75 people. That's like seeing someone sketching in a notebook and demanding they paint you an 8 foot tall photo realistic oil portrait for free, 'because you haven't charged money in the past.'

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Witty_Reporter_9912 − NTA, at a minimum they need to pay for all the ingredients it's not cheap that's a huge cake.

UneducatedPotatoTato − NTA 1. It’s easy enough to rationalize that you depend on that money to be able to buy the necessary supplies 2. It’s an AH move on their part to agree to pay you and then backtrack and try to weasel out of it

It seems like they were trying pull a fast one and call your bluff. Like they fully expected you to still make the cake even though they had no intention of paying you. And shocked pikachu face when you stood your ground.

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The only thing that isn’t clear is whether you were up front that if you didn’t get paid, you absolutely wouldn’t make the cake. Not that it should need to be said as it’s common sense. But they seem to be lacking in that department.. This is why doing favors and providing services to family is always a headache.

LuLouProper − NTA, and your 'friends and family' rate should be 3-5X higher.

These Redditors cheered the baker’s backbone, slamming the couple’s entitlement and shady tactics. Some saw it as a deliberate ploy to exploit her; others urged her to keep shining as a boundary-setting queen. But do these fiery takes capture the full flavor of the drama, or are they just frosting on the cake?

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This tale of a baker standing her ground against family pressure is a slice of real life, showing that love doesn’t mean free labor. Her refusal to bake without payment highlights the importance of valuing one’s craft, even when family expects a handout. It begs the question: where do you draw the line when family mixes business with personal ties? Share your thoughts and experiences below—what would you do in her shoes?

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