WIBTA if I had the attorneys take my boyfriends name off of the real estate contract we are preparing to sign?

Picture a cozy rental house, just steps from a grandmother’s welcoming porch, where a young mom has built a life for her daughter. For three years, it’s been a haven of stability—until her boyfriend’s fiery outbursts began to rattle the walls. Now, with a golden opportunity to buy the house at a steal, she faces a heart-wrenching dilemma: should she tie her financial future to a partner who storms off like a teenager when conflicts arise? The stakes feel sky-high.

This Reddit user’s story resonates with anyone who’s weighed love against logic. Her boyfriend’s temper tantrums—throwing things, yelling, and threatening to leave—have left her questioning his place in a $140,000 commitment. As she prepares to meet with lawyers, her instinct to protect her daughter and her future is palpable. Is she wrong to consider cutting him out of the contract, or is this a bold stand for independence?

‘WIBTA if I had the attorneys take my boyfriends name off of the real estate contract we are preparing to sign?’

I've been renting a house from a couple for 3 years. Everything has been wonderful here and now they want me to buy it for a hell of a steal price. And they would like to finance it at a reasonable rate. These people are amazing, I love it here, and it allows me to be within walking distance to my elderly grandmother.

My (27f) SO (42m) moved in with me 1 year ago. (We have been together almost 2 years) If it makes a difference my daughter (9) lives here full time and his son (12) comes every other weekend. Lately things have been feeling a little rocky between SO and myself.

We have had 4-5 fights this year that have resulted in him either A) throwing things and yelling mean s**t. OR  B) taking off in his car like a mad, hormonal teenager. And ALWAYS C) threatening to leave/ move out. We had another of these fights this morning in which he asked whether he should move out.

I told him 'whatever' I'm supposed to meet with lawyers soon to revise the real estate contract and I am thinking that I don't want to sign a contract ($140K) with someone who gets mad and threatens to bail when I try to communicate what is bothering me in a calm way.

Oh, and I have been the only one handling the purchasing. Every big decision, he leaves to me. I get to do all the work and he gets to just kick back and relax.. So, WIBTA if I took him off when revising the contract?

INFO::: We would both be paying for the house. If I did this I would let him know that I am doing it. I am too bad of a liar to get away with it. More info, sorry! We currently split rent. I am supplying the down payment.

And we would continue to split costs, however I would be willing to pay more and charge him 'rent' or some other kind of negotiation. ETA Also I need to reiterate, I WOULD NOT DO THIS WITHOUT TELLING/TALKING TO HIM FIRST. I do not want to be sneaky, or s**ew him out of anything.

Buying a home is a milestone, but tying it to a shaky relationship can feel like building on sand. This woman’s boyfriend’s outbursts—throwing objects and storming off—signal emotional volatility that could jeopardize their shared future. Her decision to handle the purchase alone, including the down payment, reflects her independence, yet his threats to leave during conflicts raise red flags about his commitment. Openly discussing her plan to remove him from the contract is a mature step, but the underlying issues run deeper.

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This scenario highlights a broader issue: the risks of co-owning property without legal protections like marriage. A 2022 report by the National Association of Realtors notes that 31% of cohabitating couples face disputes over shared property during breakups. Unmarried partners lack the clear legal framework spouses have, making sole ownership a safer choice for the woman, especially as the primary caregiver to her daughter.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, writes, “Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to—it tells us when our boundaries are being crossed”. The woman’s frustration with her boyfriend’s tantrums and lack of involvement in the purchase process signals a need for self-protection. His behavior, unchecked at 42, suggests a pattern unlikely to change without effort.

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To move forward, she could propose a lease agreement, as Reddit suggests, allowing him to contribute financially without co-ownership risks. Couples counseling might address his emotional outbursts, but her priority should be her daughter’s stability.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s got no shortage of spice when it comes to this dilemma! The community weighed in with a mix of practical advice and calls to ditch the drama.

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PJ_lyrics − NTA never sign a contract that large with just a BF/GF. It goes to s**t if the relationship is over. Sign it yourself, charge him rent.

pmvegetables − NTA if you're honest about it, but seriously, just end it. You already know you have to, and he's not going to get more emotionally mature if he's like this at 42.

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ouroborosstruggles − NTA. While I understand everyone doesn't do the marriage thing, myself included, be really wary of entering into a binding contract with a boyfriend, not a spouse. Almost 2 years isn't all that long imo,

and you were in the house before he came along. Work out a separate agreement with him where you still maintain sole ownership. Maybe something where you pay the mortgage and he gets the bills/food.

MotherOfKalEl − NTA if you're the one buying it with your money. Take him off the sale contract but put him on a lease.

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kotletki − ESH.. 1. You should discuss this with your boyfriend before you discuss it with the lawyers.. 2. You probably shouldn’t buy property together since you aren’t married. 3. Have your children witnessed the fights you described? That behavior is wildly unhealthy. The two of you should get couples counseling or break up.

[Reddit User] − No that kind of behavior is super immature and could easily turn abusive. Keeping him on the contract could cause a lot of burden to you later. Leaving him off the contract could be like kicking a bees nest though so tread carefully.

ganzas − NTA. Honey, you need to break it off with this guy. He is not emotionally mature and is not treating you like a respected partner in life. Yelling, insults, physically lashing out by throwing thing: these are temper tantrums. They are the result of an inability to be held accountable due to a lack of compassion, imo.

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I'm 26, only a year younger than you: you have your whole life with your daughter ahead of you. You can do so many things, meet so many people, and rebuild and rebuild again. Additionally, this sort of dynamic will not help your daughter understand how to find people who respect her and treat her as worthy of kindness, because you haven't learned it yet either.

I'm so sorry. It sucks and it's not fair. But your life and your daughter's life mean more than placating this person who has repeatedly hurt your trust. Don't put him on the contract.. ​. Video version (cartoon!). Article version: ​I am in love with someone who is damaged. They cannot realistically change and may even be using me as a reason not to change.

Or they are in denial and are abusing my credulity and self-doubt not to look more honestly into themselves.  And you will have to think: there is probably something in my past, a history of putting up with i**olerable situations, which makes me a long-term sucker for this sort of suffering.

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coffee_sleep_repeat − NTA and I think that's a smart choice too. Protect yourself and if you change your mind later he can still live with you, the place will just be yours. You don't even have to tell him and then sign the papers quietly.

[Reddit User] − Nta. If you are gonna be the owner of the house.

courtneydwilcox − YWBTA, if you did it sneaky like that. I would just kick him to the curb, that doesn’t sound like the kind of relationship you want to role model for your child. Just get out. Because one day his fury could turn towards your child.

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These takes highlight a shared sentiment: protect your future, especially when kids are involved. But do these bold opinions hold up in the messy reality of relationships, or are they easier said than done?

This woman’s crossroads—love, trust, and a dream home—mirrors the tough choices many face when balancing heart and head. By considering sole ownership, she’s prioritizing her daughter’s security and her own peace of mind, even if it risks rocking the relationship boat. Her commitment to honesty shows strength, but the path ahead won’t be easy. Have you ever had to make a big decision to protect your future? What would you do in her place? Drop your thoughts below!

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