AITAH if I call off my engagement because of a comment my fiancé made about my late wife?

Picture a widower, 43, rebuilding life six years after his wife’s tragic death in a drunk driving crash, now engaged to a woman after three years together. At a family dinner celebrating their engagement, his mother remarks on his new “spark,” and his fiancé drops a bombshell: “I’m happy she died, otherwise I wouldn’t have him to myself.” The room freezes, his kids reel—his 16-year-old daughter storms out, silent since—and he’s stunned speechless. His son warns that marrying her could harm his sister, pushing him to consider ending it all. Was her comment a fatal slip, or a sign to run?

This Reddit saga is a gut-wrenching clash of love, loss, and loyalty. Is calling off the engagement just, or an overreaction? It’s a story that sears with grief, betrayal, and a father’s duty to his kids.

‘AITAH if I call off my engagement because of a comment my fiancé made about my late wife?’

This Reddit post unveils a man’s turmoil over a devastating remark. Here’s his story, raw and unfiltered:

This engagement crisis is a stark case of buried insecurities erupting into harm. Amanda’s comment, even if meant as a clumsy joke, was a cruel jab at a family’s sacred loss, spoken before the widower’s children and his late wife’s sister. Its impact—alienating his daughter and shocking his son—reveals a profound lack of empathy, especially given her past insecurities about Kayla. The widower’s shock-induced silence, while human, left his kids feeling unprotected, amplifying their hurt. His son’s warning and daughter’s withdrawal signal a family at risk if Amanda remains.

Grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt notes, “Insensitive remarks about loss can fracture trust, especially for grieving children” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 67% of blended family tensions arise from unresolved grief conflicts (Source). Amanda’s failure to apologize or address the fallout suggests deeper issues, while the widower’s instinct to end the engagement prioritizes his kids’ emotional safety.

He should first meet his children privately, validating their pain and apologizing for his silence, as he plans. “Kids need to feel heard,” Wolfelt advises. A direct talk with Amanda, assessing her remorse and motives, is next—her response will clarify her fit in the family. Couples counseling could explore her insecurities, but only if she owns the harm. The family may need therapy to heal.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit weighed in with takes as raw as an open wound. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

These Reddit opinions are as sharp as a broken vow, but do they miss Amanda’s possible insecurity driving her words?

This story is a haunting mix of love, loss, and hard choices. The widower’s urge to end his engagement guards his kids but risks his future with Amanda. Could her apology or therapy save the bond, or is her comment a dealbreaker? What would you do if a partner insulted your late loved one? Share your thoughts—have you faced a moment that broke your trust in love?