AITA for kicking my sister out after she refused to babysit my son?

In a cozy suburban home, the air crackled with tension as a family favor turned into a fiery showdown. A 30-year-old mom, juggling work and parenting, leaned on her younger sister for help—only to face a stinging refusal that sparked a household uproar. What started as a simple request for temporary babysitting spiraled into a clash of loyalty, gratitude, and family ties, leaving readers wondering: where’s the line between generosity and obligation?

The story unfolds with raw emotion, as the overwhelmed mom grapples with betrayal and tough choices. Her sister’s refusal to step up, even briefly, ignited a feud that split their family’s opinions. This tale of clashing expectations hooks us with its relatable stakes—how far do you go to help family, and what happens when that help isn’t returned?

‘AITA for kicking my sister out after she refused to babysit my son?’

I (f30) live with my husband (m31) ans our son (m5), my sister (f22) is still in college and has to move out with us three months ago because she had some issues with her roommates. Things were going fine until this argument, also she doesn't work but my parents send her some money for textbooks and groceries although she barely ever has contributed to the household since she moved in with us.

We also live in a different state from our parents and family so I'm basically throwing her in the streets by kicking her out which would make me a big a**hole. So, my son comes back from school at around 3pm/3:30.

My husband works until 6 and I work until 5 although sometimes I have to stay an hour or two extra (this is not normal, maybe three or four times per month when we're behind in a project). We had a babysitter that would wait until he's back (he comes back home via the school bus) and would stay with him until me or my husband come back from work.

However she recently discovered she's sick and told us that she can't continue working as she has to go though treatment, we thanked her for telling us and wished she would get better soon. I asked my sister to babysit our son until we can get a new babysitter giving that she doesn't have classes at that time.

She told me she never agreed to babysit when she moved in here and that I should've told her beforehand so she could find somewhere else to live. I told her that I knew this wasn't out agreement but this was something exceptional since our babysitter has medical issues, it's not neither of our fault and she would prefer a 100 times to not be in this situation.

She still told me she can't babysit because sometimes she has to go to the library or to study with friends and babysitting would limit her hours of studying. I got angry, maybe too angry, so I told her that we never ask anything from her, we helped her because we wanted to be kind with her, and yet she can't even compromise to stay a few hours home just until we find a new babysitter.

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I ended up telling her she has a week to leave because we will not be providing food or a roof to a b**ch like her. One of my son's friend's mom is taking care of my son now, they go back to her home together and I pick him up later. My sister tried to apologize but I told her I don't want to live with her because she showed me her true colors.

She also have told our family and a lot of them are giving me s**t for leaving my sister homeless. My husband, my in laws and friends support me but it feels hash if my family isn't on my side, makes me think I'm an a**hole to be honest. Edit: it wasn't easy to find another person to take care of my son, i had to take two days from work which will be taken from my next paycheck.

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Family dynamics can feel like navigating a minefield, especially when favors and expectations collide. The mom’s frustration is palpable—she opened her home to her sister, only to feel dismissed when she needed a small favor in return. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, “Reciprocity is the backbone of healthy relationships” . In this case, the sister’s refusal to help, even temporarily, broke an unspoken rule of mutual support, leaving the mom feeling unappreciated.

The sister’s perspective, though, isn’t baseless. As a college student, her focus on studies and independence is valid, but her flat-out refusal lacked compromise. This clash highlights a broader issue: generational differences in family obligations. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 68% of young adults prioritize personal goals over familial duties, often straining sibling relationships . Here, the sister’s stance reflects this trend, while the mom expected traditional family loyalty.

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Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes communication: “Express needs clearly and listen without judgment.” The mom could have proposed a part-time babysitting schedule, while the sister could have offered limited help. Instead, harsh words escalated the conflict. For solutions, both could benefit from a calm discussion, setting clear boundaries—perhaps the sister contributes to household chores in exchange for staying. This approach fosters mutual respect without ultimatums.

Ultimately, the mom’s decision to evict her sister was a reaction to feeling undervalued, but a longer notice period might have softened the blow. Families thrive on give-and-take, and rebuilding trust here starts with honest dialogue and small compromises.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for this family saga. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

Broutythecat − NTA. Everyone voting T A because 'parents must never ask for help' must come from very dysfunctional families. This is not you routinely exploiting your sister, its asking for help in a sudden moment of need.

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My family is normal and therefore we scramble to help each other when need be. Then again reddit has been teaching me that family dynamics in the US are apparently weirdly cold, individualistic, selfish, and transactional, so maybe over there we would be the weird ones.

Frosty_Emotion_1431 − NTA you were not asking her to babysit indefinitely just literally to help out while you looked for an alternative. She was all fine and dandy with living with you for free while not contributing at all to the house hold,

and the first time you asked her for temporary assistance with something she made it clear that she has zero intention of helping out ever. You are under no obligation to help someone out who would not reciprocate when you need them.

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Ok-Attorney-2599 − NTA I see so many posts like this and it’s insane to me. Does she have to help you? No, but you also don’t have to help her and that’s how relationships work, you help each other when you need it because you care about the other person.

I think she did show her true colors, you literally asked her to temporarily help out in a bind, which could’ve just been a few weeks and she didn’t want to be inconvenienced for even 2 hours a day in exchange for you not only letting her live there for free but you’re also eating the added costs of an extra person in the house, so your paying the added utility and grocery costs.

FuckUGalen − Your family is welcome to fix her 'homelessness' issue. NTA

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Mrfleas − NTA. However you are angry because your sister lives the life of a child but is an adult I your house. I suggest you breathe and then have a talk with her. Ask her why you are obligated to help her but she doesn't feel the need to reciprocate when you are in need of help?

Then, if you choose to let her stay, tell her it will no longer be a free ride because what you once did out of love feels unappreciated so now it must be more transactional. You can also tell her you give her one month to move because this is no longer working for you and in order for you not to resent her, you cannot live with her.

What makes you a villain is the one week. That is hard to do. Tell your parents and other family members that you feel taken advantage of and when they take a side, it shows who they favor in your eyes so please stay out of it. Your sister bit the hand that fed her because your parents did not teach her to be grateful.

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MrJoe21 − NTA. S**ew those saying otherwise. You already gave her a huge favor by giving her FREE RENT AND FOOD. Youre just asking for temporary help and she doesnt even have class at that time. That is just way too small compensation for what youre providing her.

barefootwondergirl − ESH. You were in a tough situation, your babysitter left you for medical reasons and you needed short term help until you lined up a new sitter. Even if your sister paid some of her expenses, it is reasonable to ask her for help for a couple weeks while you look for a new sitter.

As others have said, it could have been for some days of the week while you relied on other help (like you are now) for the remainder. I don't think it's reasonable for your sister to refuse to help you *at all* but I echo others that calling her a b*tch is extreme and undermines your position.

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Kicking sister out with a week's notice is also harsh, a month is usually standard. If I were you, I would tell your sister that her apology is accepted, but you still want her out within 30 days. All the family members saying you were wrong are welcome to help her with her housing situation.

Just let her know that you have reorganized your life and household to house her, and at the first request for temporary help, she made it clear that she does not want to reciprocate. You should apologize for the name calling, but be firm about moving her out in 30 days.

Cocoasneeze − NTA. You've done her a huge favour, she's living completely free with you, and you asked her help when you needed it, and she flat out refused. So now she can find a place to stay where she doesn't have to help out other people who are helping her out. Tell your family who are messaging you, that they're free to step up to help her, if they don't, it's none of their business.

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jrm1102 − NTA - Maybe you were a little harsh and a week is a little short notice but shes a freeloader. She’s not contributing and when asked to help she refused and said she would have lived somewhere else. Well, now she can.

MerlinBiggs − NTA. You gave her a home and she won't help out when you are in need. She had it coming.

These Redditors rallied behind the mom, praising her generosity while roasting the sister’s lack of gratitude. Some called for calmer talks, others cheered the tough love. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

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This tale of family favors gone sour reminds us how quickly support can turn to resentment when expectations misalign. The mom’s hurt and the sister’s defiance reveal the delicate balance of give-and-take in close-knit households. While Reddit’s crowd leaned hard into siding with the mom, the real lesson lies in communication over confrontation. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you navigate family obligations when the stakes get personal?

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