AITA for refusing to share money with my stepsister?

Picture an 18-year-old, orphaned young by his mother’s death, inheriting a life-changing sum from his maternal grandmother to secure his future, like college without debt. His stepsister, 17, with no blood tie to his grandma, demands half the money for her own college, backed by her mother’s claims of family fairness. His dad hints at sharing, but relentless pressure from his stepfamily drives him to his aunt’s house, doubting his firm refusal. Was he selfish, or protecting his grandmother’s wish?

This Reddit saga is a raw clash of legacy, loyalty, and stepfamily strain. Is keeping the money his right, or a family betrayal? It’s a story that burns with grief, greed, and the fight for what’s yours.

‘AITA for refusing to share money with my stepsister?’

This Reddit post unveils a teen’s stand to guard his inheritance. Here’s his story, unfiltered:

Dad has me (18m) and his wife has Ellie (17f who will be 18 in a week). Dad married his wife when I was 10 but they met and moved in together when I was 9. My mom died when I was a baby. I was her only kid. My grandma aka mom's mom died recently and I found out she had left a sizable amount of money for me. My aunt was the one who mentioned it.

She told me grandma had wanted me to be okay, since I had lost mom so young and all that. The money is enough that I could pay for many years of college and have no debt out of it. But I decided to go for a community college near my aunt and cousins. My stepsister is also starting college and she doesn't have much money going into it.

Ellie's mom said I should split the money in half and give Ellie one half, so she can have a good start in life. She said my grandma should have considered her anyway seeing that Ellie and I grew up together and became brother and sister \*at a very young age\*. I said Ellie wasn't anything to do with my grandma and why would she have her inherit over her other daughter and grandkids.

Dad asked me if I would be open to sharing any of my money with Ellie, if I would be willing to help her at all. I said no. Ellie flipped and told me I'm supposed to be her brother and stop any favoritism. I told her it can't be favoritism when she's not related to that part of my family. Ellie and her mom are saying I'm wrong.

Dad hasn't but he has said it would be a good family move to share and to think of Ellie, and how she's the only sibling I'll ever have. He knows I don't consider her my sister so he doesn't push it as much but he did bring it up. Ellie and her mom have not let up at all in the last several weeks. I moved in with my aunt to get away from the whole thing but it keeps coming and it's making me doubt everything.. AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

This inheritance dispute is a stark case of entitlement versus intent. The grandmother’s bequest to her grandson, tied to his mother’s loss, was a deliberate act to secure his future, not a stepfamily fund. Ellie and her mother’s demand for half ignores the lack of relation to the grandmother, while their pressure tactics—guilt and “sibling” claims—show opportunism. The father’s mild push for sharing, though well-meaning, overlooks the emotional weight of the gift. The teen’s refusal and move to his aunt’s protect his autonomy and his grandmother’s wishes.

Estate planner Susan Turnbull notes, “Inheritances reflect personal bonds, not universal fairness” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Family and Economic Issues found that 66% of stepfamily conflicts over inheritance stem from perceived entitlement (Source). Ellie’s college needs are real, but her parents, not the teen, bear that burden.

ADVERTISEMENT

He should stay firm, using the money as intended, and seek legal advice to secure it, perhaps in a trust. “Clarity protects legacies,” Turnbull advises. His dad must shut down the stepfamily’s harassment, while Ellie’s mom could explore scholarships or loans. A family meeting with a mediator might reset boundaries.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit swung in with takes as bold as a locked vault. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

ADVERTISEMENT

Dvilindskys − NTA.. Your grandmother left it To You.. Your dad and step mom should have been setting aside money for you both.. But apparently didn't.. Keep your money, spend it wisely on your schooling and move forward.

whatsername235 − NTA, ask what Ellie's relatives are leaving YOU in their wills. Give her the exact same amount of money.. Hint: it's going to be nothing.

vox_acris − NTA. Your stepsister isn’t entitled to the money and your maternal grandmother obviously didn't consider your stepsister a granddaughter either, otherwise she would have left her something.

If I were you, I would tell your father to make this clear to his wife and stepdaughter and not interact with them ä until they understand that they are not entitled to your money and that it is unfair to keep confronting you about it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Key-Sheepherder3355 − Nta. Ellie has 2 parents that can pay for college and 2 wets of grandparents as well. Stay at your aunts and go no contact.

[Reddit User] − NTA. And to be quite Frank it’s none of Ellie or your stepmoms business if your grandmother wanted Ellie ( a child with no relation to her ) to have $ She would have left her some.

DubiousChordate − NTA. Inheritance doesn’t work this way. If your mom and stepdad want Ellie’s education subsidized, they can pay for it. I suggest you use some of the money to get your own place.

ADVERTISEMENT

jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj − NTA Your grandmother could have chosen to divide the money with anyone, but she chose you, for her own reasons. Ellie presumably has relatives on her own side, and her mother and now your father to provide for her. You already don't consider her your sister and she and her mother are trying to bully you into giving them money.

If their 'love' is conditional on you handing over your inheritance what kind of love is it? Your dad can have his opinion, but it's not his place to talk about what you should do with money coming from your mother's side of the family. Also, if he wants to be fair he should have spoken up to get his wife and her daughter off your back.

It is ultimately your choice and frankly I don't think giving them any of the money will 'buy' you anything real in terms of a better family relationship. You don't owe Ellie anything and the way they are approaching this is wrong. If I were you their attitude alone would have me decide not to give her a cent.

ADVERTISEMENT

It's not up to your stepmother to decide what your grandmother 'should' have done. It's not your stepmother's money. Your grandmother did do what she should have done -- which is choose to give her own money to whomever she wanted to for the reasons she felt were right.

I'm sure your grandmother would not want you to be bullied and guilt-tripped into giving away the money she meant for you. Your dad's new wife and her daughter have nothing to do with your grandmother. Shame on your stepmother for even trying to emotionally manipulate you using her.

Heraonolympia123 − Info; if Ellie inherited a load of money from her dad’s side, would she and her mom share it? That’s just me being nosey and doesn’t change the fact you are NTA for not giving your money away. I’m just wondering if they would be so generous with their own money.

ADVERTISEMENT

CutDear5970 − NTA. That money is for you to be set up for your future. My stepkids will have college paid for by their grandmother. My kids have no one to help them. My son enlisted in the Navy and my daughter will have to do her best to get grants & scholarships and use loans for the rest. That’s just how it is.

Jujulabee − NTA. Your grandmother was aware of your step sister and made a deliberate choice to leave money TO HER DAUGHTER'S SON and not to a stranger. Your grandmother's bequest is normal as she has no more relation to your step sister than she would have to a neighbor's child or a friend's child.

The only reason she has any connection is because the husband of her DEAD DAUGHTER married your step sister's mother. Use the money because it is in essence a gift from your bio mother. I am 100% sure that your bio mother would have wanted you to use ALL OF THE MONEY as a way to help you get the best start in your adult life.

ADVERTISEMENT

ETA And I am 100% certain your grandmother would have chosen to leave money to your aunt and cousins rather than your step sister. It speaks volumes about the greediness of your step sister and step mother that THEY want your grandmother’s money while her bio relatives (your aunt and cousins) understand why she might have left you with a larger share to compensate for the loss of your mother.

These Reddit opinions are as sharp as a lawyer’s pen, but do they miss the father’s delicate balance in a blended family?

This story is a fierce blend of loss, legacy, and limits. The teen’s refusal to share his grandmother’s money honors her intent but frays stepfamily ties. Could a mediator or financial aid for Ellie ease the tension, or is his stand the only path? What would you do with an inheritance under pressure? Share your thoughts—have you faced family fights over money meant for you?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *