AITA For Ruining The Memory My Cousin’s Wedding?

Imagine a teenage summer shattered: a 30-year-old woman recalls the sting of betrayal when her cousin Jessica, then a teen, locked lips with her boyfriend, photos splashing across social media to ruin a vacation. Hurt and bitter, she shut Jessica out, ignoring tearful apologies and family pleas, watching as gossip drove her cousin to a new school. Time dulled the anger, but trust stayed buried, leaving only indifference as years rolled by.

Fast forward to a glitzy wedding invite—Jessica’s big day. Reluctant, the woman caved when her uncle dangled $10,000, only for secret payments to “bond” to follow, unraveling when he passed and the truth hit the family like a rogue champagne cork. Was she wrong to take the cash and play along? Readers, feel the weight of this tangled web—let’s dive into the drama!

‘AITA For Ruining The Memory My Cousin’s Wedding?’

I (30f) have a cousin 'Jessica' (28f) who I was close to growing up but stopped caring after high school. Why? She hooked up with my boyfriend during the summer when I was away and a girl, who hated Jessica, caught them kissing, took pictures and spread it around on social media. I got the news while on vacation and it ruined the experience for me.

I dumped my boyfriend via text and told Jessica to never speak to me again. She would try and come to the house to apologize and explain the situation but I didn't care. By the time school was back Jessica developed a 'reputation' and was harassed constantly about it. We went to the same school and while I could've stood up for her and told the other kids off, I didn't.

I was a hurt and bitter teenager back then but as an adult I can now recognize the uneven and sexist treatment Jessica received. My ex got to continue his life while Jessica had to switch schools by Winter Break. Obviously my aunt and uncle were upset that I didn't do more to try and protect their daughter and wanted me to forgive her, but I refused.

My mom and I had talks about how even though I was the the initial victim sticking up for Jessica would've been the right thing to do but wouldn't force me. After that I just distance myself from Jessica because I just didn't trust her anymore but that didn't stop her from reaching out. I'd ignore her at family gatherings and not respond to any messages she would send out.

In college Jessica's attempts finally stopped so I thought she'd finally given up but a few years later I received a wedding invitation from her and just sent it back. My grandparents told me that this had gone on long enough and that I needed to let the anger go. By then I was truly over my anger over the situation but explained that I was just no longer interested in Jessica and I having a relationship anymore,

and that there were other things that I would rather do than take off work to go to a wedding for someone who I was indifferent to. Jessica really wanted me to come so her father (my aunt's husband), offered to chip in on my Student Loans if I attended the wedding and be happy for her. I initially refused but when I was offered $10,000 I agreed.

Jessica had a nice wedding but unfortunately she started to think that we could be close again and was sad that I didn't want to play catch up after her honeymoon. Well, her dad called me up again and offered more money and so for the next couple of years I was getting paid to hang out with Jessica. Sadly, my uncle passed away in 2020 and I was genuinely sad because he was a nice guy.

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My aunt was going through bank records and found out the money and confronted me, I assumed she knew and said 'Yeah, that's from the time I went/did....with/for Jessica.' I never would've thought that my uncle would do this behind my aunt's back and was shocked. Well, Jessica now knows and other family members are upset with me. AITA?.

Family ties twist into a knotty mess here, with a high school betrayal—Jessica’s kiss with the boyfriend—fueling a decade of distance. The woman, no longer mad but done, took $10,000 to smile at the wedding, then more to fake a bond, only for the aunt and Jessica to reel when the secret spilled. Both sides stumble: Jessica’s teen mistake stung, but the paid charade cut deeper, trust crumbling like a bad cake.

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Family conflict festers when trust breaks—36% of adults report estrangement from kin, per a 2022 YouGov survey (source: yougov.com). Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, says in a 2024 piece, “Rebuilding family bonds demands honesty and accountability; hidden deals breed resentment” (source: psychologytoday.com). Here, the uncle’s cash ploy and the woman’s acceptance sidelined genuine healing, leaving Jessica blindsided.

What’s next? Dr. Orbuch suggests owning the mess—admit the fake-out, apologize, and set clear boundaries. Therapy or tools from sites like Family Bridges (familybridgesusa.org) can help. No one’s owed a bond, but sincerity beats cash-fueled facades.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit crew—candid, cheeky, and ready to rumble! The community split like a torn veil, tossing verdicts on this wedding-day drama:

celestecatherine - ESH. Your cousin for the obvious. Your family for trying to push a relationship. Your uncle for lying to his wife. Your cousin again for using this moment to turn everyone against you. You for faking a relationship. This family is built on lies.

[Reddit User] - Would i take over $10000 to pretend to be friends with someone who f**ked my boyfriend? Even if it hurt that person? And it was 10 years ago?. Yes lmao no question. I truly don't believe anyone who says they wouldnt

the_river_nihil - NTA. That's a ton of cash and I don't blame you for taking it. I'd do far worse things for $10,000, that's for damn sure.

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Fuzzy-Ad559 - Honestly... ESH. She did something wrong, 10 or so years ago. Which I get not wanting to forget what she did and not trusting her but in that case you should have stick to your initial stance and stay away. You don't have to allow her back in your life but showing that your bitterness, anger and morality could be bought away for one day was just... Wow.

Forward-Beyond4739 - ESH. Your cousin made a stupid choice back in high school. Yes, it hurt you. But that was a long time ago. And she basically got s**t shamed into switching schools because of it. You didn't owe her any help, but you admit that she got unfair treatment because of it.

Your uncle sucks for trying to buy you back into his daughter's life. And you for being a fake friend for money. Either you should have just kept her out of your life, or tried to move past what happened. You could have been civil to her without being paid.

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Alternative_Year_340 - NTA I don’t blame you for taking the money, but I think your uncle had really I realistic ideas about what money can buy. How did he think Jessica would feel when she found out he was buying her a relationship? And after he paid the first few times, did it not occur to him that the relationship would ever stop being financial?. *unrealistic

MrPotato2753 - ESH except maybe Jessica for this particular instance. Obviously she sucked in high school but that was IN HIGH SCHOOL. You don’t have to want a relationship with her, but taking money to be her friend behind her back while she believed things are improving is disgusting. Like genuinely horrible. At that point, what she did to you pales in comparison to what you and your uncle did to her.

Opening_Bug_7991 - All this anger over a high school boyfriend that you probably would have broken up with long ago. Was Jessica in the wrong? Of course. But you and others really made sure that she paid for it. And then you took money to pretend to forgive her. And you’re an adult. You are such the a**hole. YTA.

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jmcg874 - I'm going against the grain with NAH. With maybe Jessica being the initial AH for the bf thing years ago. Your uncle was misguided, but trying his best to make things for his daughter and family, and at the same time he was helping you.. You had student debt, so I don't blame you for taking the deal.. Obviously your aunt and Jessica would find this upsetting.. You shouldn't feel bad for doing what was best for you in this situation.

happybanana134 - YTA. You took money to be her fake friend. As an adult. That's worse than the nonsense she pulled as a teenager.

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they hold up? Was the cash a savvy grab, or a low blow to family ties?

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And there’s the messy bouquet toss—a high school betrayal, a paid wedding smile, and a family reeling from secret deals! Our Reddit user cashed in to play nice with cousin Jessica, only for the uncle’s passing to unveil the truth, leaving hurt and anger in the confetti’s wake. Experts call for honesty over hidden payoffs, while Reddit debates cash versus conscience. Family’s a wild ride—old wounds linger, and trust’s tough to rebuild. What would you do if cash tempted you to fake a bond? Drop your takes, tales, or tips below—let’s unravel this wedding wreckage!

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