Aita For Not Wanting To Babysit My Sisters Kids?

A family dinner turns sour when old wounds resurface, and a sister’s casual request ignites a firestorm of unresolved pain. Eight years ago, a young woman faced betrayal when her sister outed her as bisexual on her birthday, shattering her world and leaving her to pick up the pieces. Now, at 25, she’s built a happy life with her husband, only to be blindsided by her sister’s plea to babysit her kids. The audacity of the ask stings, rekindling memories of being disowned and alone.

The tension is palpable, like a storm brewing over a family reunion. Readers are drawn into her struggle: should she forgive and lend a hand, or stand firm in her boundaries? Her story, raw and relatable, unfolds on Reddit, sparking heated debates about family loyalty and the cost of forgiveness.

‘Aita For Not Wanting To Babysit My Sisters Kids?’

Ages-. Me-25F. Sister-24F. Mom & Dad-58. So I am a bi, and when I was 17 I had a girlfriend. My sister found out by accident and after begging her not to tell my parents, she didn't. And then on MY BIRTHDAY she told my parents. Long story short I was kicked out/disowned , and my lovely aunt took me in and cursed out everyone in my family for doing that.

That year was honestly hell for me, since my sister then gossiped about it at school. Thank god my friends didn't care or I would have gone crazy. So when I was 19 I broke up with my gf, after a year found my now-husband! And I got a house! So everything is good now.

When my family found out I had a then-boyfriend, they were happy I finally turned 'straight' which then made me yell at them and told everyone to never call me. So a few days ago, my sister called me like everything was okay, and asked me to babysit her 2 kids. I declined immediately.

She started begging me saying that she needed to shop and needed a day off, and asked me why I was being so 'difficult'. I told her that she was the one who made my 17-19 years difficult and that she should f**k off and hire a babysitter. She then started yelling at me saying that , that was like 8 years ago and that I shouldn't be holding a grudge.

And then yapped about how family is family.. I told her to hire a babysitter and hung up. My husband supports me for doing that , but now my family have been calling me and saying I'm being unreasonable!. Aita? It's been like 8 years so that's why I'm asking.

Edit- She has apologized to me! Sorry for not adding that in, but it wasnt genuine, it was, 'Sorry for doing that, you know I suck at secrets,'. As you noticed we don't talk☺️. Edit- To address some things: 1. When my life was finally on track, and I had a happy life with my boyfriend (now hus) my parent reached out to congratulate being straight again, I told them to f**k off.

ADVERTISEMENT

My sister also reached out and we did talk before she told me that she was sorry bout it, and that I should have known secrets are not her forte. Which was a big lie btw. She waited till my birthday to tell my parents because we didn't have the best relationship really 😔

So I've avoided her, and it's obvious she feels no remorse, I asked her if she felt any remorse and she told me that she did the right thing, because I would not have become 'straight' had she not made me cut off.

ADVERTISEMENT

So her calling me out of the blue was strange, since I hadn't talked to her for months really before. The reason I have not touched the block button is because I would rather be in contact just in case or an emergency happens.. Idk really know why, guess it's because I just want then to genuinely apologize 😔

Family betrayals cut deep, especially when they upend lives. The woman’s refusal to babysit her sister’s kids isn’t just about scheduling—it’s a stand against a painful past. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments” . Here, the sister’s betrayal eroded trust, and her flippant apology—“I suck at secrets”—did little to rebuild it. The OP’s anger is justified; her sister’s actions at 17 weren’t childish impulsivity but a calculated move on a vulnerable day.

ADVERTISEMENT

The conflict highlights a broader issue: family expectations versus personal boundaries. A 2021 study from the American Psychological Association shows that 60% of young adults report strained family ties due to breaches of trust . The sister’s demand for babysitting ignores the OP’s trauma, assuming “family is family” erases accountability. Her parents’ disapproval further dismisses her pain, prioritizing harmony over healing.

Dr. Gottman’s work suggests that rebuilding trust requires genuine remorse and changed behavior, not excuses. The sister’s claim that outing her was “right” to make her “straight” shows no regret, only entitlement. For the OP, saying no is self-preservation, not pettiness. Moving forward, she could maintain distance while keeping emergency contact, as she does, balancing caution with hope.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for the OP’s stance. The community rallied behind her, with comments dripping with indignation and a touch of humor. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

Msreidsalot − NTA - Unreasonable is kicking out a teenager for being bisexual, unreasonable is expecting any familial relationship after causing that amount of pain to someone. Unreasonable is all the things that they've done. You have plently of reasons to not babysit.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA at all. What the actual hell is wrong with them?. Good on you for standing up for yourself and good on your SO for supporting you.

moburkes − NTA. You don't get to out people AND she was an adult when she did so. You don't owe her babysitting services. Period. Regardless of who she is. If she was your best friend, you don't owe those services, let alone someone who caused you grief.

JustHereToComment24 − NTA change your number and go fully no contact

ADVERTISEMENT

Sheep-of-the-Cosmos − NTA. Babysitters aren't exactly asking for much more above minimum wage, last I checked. And I doubt anyone here will say you owe a person who took a sledgehammer to your life because they couldn't keep their damn mouth shut.

Family is indeed family, but it ain't more important than yourself or the connections you have chosen to made, such as the one you have with your husband IMO, and is also a really g**damn s**tty reason to force someone to help if that very same family is the one to cast you out. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, and all.

RagaMuffinSun − NTA-The phase family is family doesn’t magically erase all the pain she and they have caused you. You shouldn’t be expected to automatically forgive their mistreatment of you because you share some genetics.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA and your sister can go shove her opinions on how you’re supposed to live your life to someone else. She’s lost the right to impose anything on you, favor or otherwise.

Arbor_Arabicae − 'Holding a grudge' is being annoyed that your sister ruined your lipstick. Outing you and getting you kicked out of your own home - and on your birthday no less - is damaging and catastrophic. Where was her 'family is family' when all that was happening?. NTA. Oh, and your aunt is awesome.

[Reddit User] − NTA and you won’t be TA in 50 years. They don’t deserve you.

ADVERTISEMENT

picklerick-is-cool − NTA she told your parents you were bi on your birthday and then they kicked you out

These Redditors brought the heat, cheering her resolve or roasting her sister’s nerve. But do their fiery takes capture the full story, or are they just adding fuel to the family drama?

The OP’s story is a raw reminder that family ties don’t erase past wounds. Her refusal to babysit isn’t about holding a grudge—it’s about protecting her peace after years of rebuilding. While her sister waves the “family is family” flag, the OP stands firm, backed by a husband who’s got her corner. Reddit’s chorus of “NTA” echoes her right to set boundaries, but the path forward remains hers to choose. What would you do if faced with a similar family fallout? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *