AITA for banning my husband’s sister from my house until she uses the names of my twins?

In a bustling family that loves to gather for celebrations, one mom has taken a firm stand on preserving her twins’ individuality. As the host of many family events in the grand house inherited from her grandfather, she values the unique identities of her 6‑year‑old daughters, Amy and Nina. Despite their identical looks, she insists that they be recognized as distinct individuals, not just “the twins.”

During a recent family get‑together, tensions flared when her husband’s sister, Jane, repeatedly refused to call the girls by their names. Instead, she lumped them together under a single label. Frustrated by this continued disregard for her daughters’ individuality, the mom decided to ban Jane from her house until she learned to address them properly. This decision has stirred up plenty of family drama and social media buzz.

‘AITA for banning my husband’s sister from my house until she uses the names of my twins?’

Dr. Melissa Harding, a family psychologist, explains, “Parents have every right to establish guidelines that reinforce their children’s identities. When a family member consistently ignores these guidelines, it can feel like a dismissal of the child’s individuality and efforts. Establishing boundaries—such as requesting that someone address your children by their names—is a legitimate way to uphold your values.”

Dr. Harding further notes that, “While some might argue that young children may be generally referred to by collective terms, the context here is a formal family gathering meant to celebrate an important occasion.

If a parent has taken care to individualize their children through thoughtful gestures—like personal gifts and unique styling—it is reasonable to expect others to acknowledge that distinction.” In effect, your decision to ban Jane until she honors your request is not about being petty; it’s about asserting a standard for how your children should be seen and respected.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

show overwhelming support for the mom’s stance. Many redditors argue that insisting on using the twins’ names is a basic matter of respect and individuality. They emphasize that while it might seem like a small detail to some, it is vital for the girls’ self‑identity. One comment even humorously suggests that Jane be referred to only as “MIL’s youngest daughter” from now on, underscoring the absurdity of the situation.

This story highlights the delicate balance between tradition and individual expression within families. While some may view collective labels as harmless, others recognize the profound impact that personalized recognition can have on a child’s development.

Is it reasonable to expect every family member to adapt to these changes, or should tradition hold sway? What would you do if you faced a similar situation in your family? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s start a conversation about the importance of individual identity in family dynamics.