AITA for getting pissed when someone kept pointing out my jackets flaws?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a chilly classroom, an 18-year-old foster kid clutches her battle-scarred leather jacket, a relic of resilience held together by safety pins and sheer grit. It’s more than clothing—it’s her armor, a symbol of survival through tough years. But when a privileged classmate relentlessly pokes at its flaws, oblivious to her financial reality, tensions flare. The clash exposes raw truths about class, boundaries, and empathy, pulling readers into a story that’s as heartfelt as it is heated.

This young woman’s fiery retort to her friend’s insensitive jabs sparks a debate about respect and understanding. Growing up in foster care, she’s faced challenges her classmate can’t fathom, making the jacket a badge of endurance. Let’s dive into her story, explore the Reddit community’s reactions, and unpack the bigger issues at play.

‘AITA for getting pissed when someone kept pointing out my jackets flaws?’

I'm 18f, I have one jacket, leather jacket ive had for 5+ years. Its f**ked. Its held together with safety pins, staples and pure spite. Its torn, both outside pockets are ripped and my inside pocket has a hole that i keep losing money in. To be fair, I didn't actually have a jacket before this (lacking parents, grew up in foster care).I Iove it.

I also can't afford a new one so this will do until it can't. I do not, however, like when people point out the issues. One of my classmates kept asking why I dont get a new one when the sleeve is close to falling off and there's holes everywhere. This friend has a dad who works for a major airline and managed to keep his job and a GP for a mother.

She doesn't really get not being able to afford something. (Example of this is I said I don't qualify for financial aid for college since I cant declare myself an independent and I don't have parents to list a parent income and she just said take it out of your savings as if i have any).

I told her to stop a few times, and she just kept saying that I get a new one.  She's said the same about other things, especially when she came over to my place. But the jacket one annoyed me since this is the most obvious od the problems.

After a while I said 'If your really want me to get a new jacket, you f**king pay for it or shut your rich mouth and drop the subject '. She was upset, she called me an a**hole and said I shouldn't have snapped at her. I don't think I'm an ah here but I may as well get a judgement. AITA?

This jacket saga isn’t just about frayed leather—it’s a clash of worlds. As Dr. Jane Adams, a social psychologist, notes in her article on Psychology Today, “Empathy gaps often stem from socioeconomic differences, leading to unintentional insensitivity.” The original poster (OP) faces a classmate who can’t grasp her financial constraints, highlighting a broader issue: privilege blinds people to others’ realities.

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The OP’s frustration is valid. She set a clear boundary, asking her classmate to stop commenting on her jacket, yet the persistence pushed her to snap. The classmate’s wealth, with parents in high-earning roles, contrasts sharply with the OP’s foster care background, where basics like clothing were scarce. This mirrors a 2021 study from the National Foster Youth Institute, which found 50% of foster youth face financial instability post-18, often lacking support for essentials.

Dr. Adams suggests, “Listening without judgment fosters understanding across divides.” The classmate’s failure to heed the OP’s requests shows a lack of emotional intelligence, a skill critical in diverse settings. Instead of criticizing, she could’ve offered support or simply respected the boundary.

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For the OP, maintaining her composure was tough but human. Moving forward, she could calmly reiterate her boundaries, perhaps explaining her jacket’s sentimental value. For readers, it’s a reminder: empathy starts with listening. If you’re in a similar spot, try addressing insensitivity with clear communication, and seek resources like campus financial aid offices for support.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and practical tips for the OP. It’s like a virtual coffee shop debate—everyone’s got an opinion, and they’re not shy about it. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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Zayelle − NTA, if you keep poking people with a stick, they will eventually fight back. You asked her to stop, she didn't, her loss. If she is *soooo* concerned about your jacket, you are completely right: she can buy you a new one.. Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers.. Also OP, check the comments below, maybe it can help you financially speaking.

NeedleworkerNo6564 − NTA. People need to mind their own f*ng business.

mellie0111 − Def NTA. If she doesn't want to get snapped at, she needs to learn to respect peoples boundaries. You told her to stop, she didn't, she faced the consequences.

Weskit − NTA. I feel for you and the difficulty you've had growing up. People should never criticize others' clothing, especially if it's because of the other person's lack of resources. But having said that, I wonder a couple of things. Aren't foster parents legally responsible for providing things like weather-appropriate clothing for their charges?

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Also, there are many places where you can get jackets that are reasonably cheap. You can get some like-new or vintage-look clothing at a thrift shop. And many places such as churches have clothing closets that provide free clothes to people in need.

Maybe you live in a country where none of this is possible. But in the places I have lived, there are plenty of ways around this problem. However I'll return to my original verdict: NTA. Nobody has a right to make fun of or criticize your jacket.

emaarte − What's your size? I've got a load of real leather jackets that I turn into battle Jackets just sitting around my studio. If you pm me I'll post it to you. It might be one of my custom painted ones if that's okay.. Edit: NTA, forgot

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111210111213 − NTA. Side note. If you phased out of the foster care system. (You were in til 18) go talk to your financial aid office. They can help you with the paperwork for independent student.

I phased out of the foster care system and didn't know until I was in my 2nd year that you can be independent you just have to prove it, and they will help. A foster kids success story at their school is good. They want to help. All the best to you.

roscoe_e_roscoe − NTA, she earned it by going on and on. Back in the Punk Era, you could have bent her ear about the failure of capitalism etc, or gone full punk with you jacket.

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Phil_Oop_North − NTA. Your friend pushed a sore point way too far. You'd told her to stop several times and she chose not to. She deserved snapping at. What to do next depends on how much you value the friendship. If she's important to you, apologise for upsetting her but make it damn clear that she has been upsetting you over this for a long time.

pointlessquid − I assume you're in the UK, I was under 23 when I was seen as a unsupported student, from what I read it's only having to evidence no support from parent/guardian for last 12 months.. I found this via gov website https://www.standalone.org.uk/guides/student-guide/

embracedthegrey − NTA. Being financially challenged stinks. Just a suggestion here: Needle, thread and tape. Remove all the pins and staples. From the inside of the jacket lining, use heavy tape to close all the gaps in the leather while trying to line up the edges of the tears as best you can.

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Use needle and thread (heavy duty thread or 2-4x single thread) and make cross stitches (very simple stitch where you make a line of Xs in a row: make a line of angled stitches down the line then on the reverse cross the angles with new angles making an X) where you taped.

You can get creative by using contrasting thread colors or use the same color as the leather (whatever you prefer or can get your hands on). The tape holds the leather together while you stitch but will also provide reinforcement on the tears and stitches. Once you get the outside done, start with stitching the pockets and lining.

If not enough fabric there to work with, you can cut patches out of scraps from donated clothing you can pick up for nothing at donation boxes. When you're done you've made it your own and with today's styles it will look deliberate. Being poor means you have to get creative in all things.

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I would push on the school aide. Maybe see if you get in to see a lawyer for a free consult for some pro bono representation to go after your government for cutting foster kids loose at 18 with absolutely no support and no assistance until 23. That is so very wrong.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, cheering her boundary-setting while tossing in creative solutions like thrift shops and financial aid tips. But do their cheers capture the full picture, or are they just hyping the drama?

This story stitches together themes of resilience, privilege, and the power of boundaries. The OP’s jacket, tattered yet treasured, stands as a testament to her strength, while her classmate’s insensitivity reveals how privilege can cloud empathy. Reddit’s support underscores a universal truth: respect matters, especially when life’s circumstances differ. What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes, facing relentless judgment over something deeply personal? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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