AITA for refusing to enforce my ex’s “reading rule” on my 15 year old son?

In a quiet suburban home, a 15-year-old boy flips through a textbook, caught between his mom’s strict new “reading rule” and his dad’s laid-back sanctuary. This Reddit user, a dad co-parenting with his ex-wife, faces a tug-of-war over a mandate that their son Callum read two hours daily—a rule born from his half-sibling’s struggles but now threatening family harmony. When Dad refused to enforce it, his ex blamed him for Callum’s growing distance. Is he wrong to stand his ground?

This story crackles with the tension of co-parenting clashes and the quest for fairness gone awry. With Reddit users cheering Dad’s rebellion and slamming the rule’s absurdity, we dive into a tale of teenage autonomy, parental control, and the delicate dance of divorce. Let’s unpack this bookish battle and see where the pages fall.

‘AITA for refusing to enforce my ex’s “reading rule” on my 15 year old son?’

So I (45m) have a son Callum (15) with my ex wife Amanda. We had an amicable divorce when Callum was two, and so far we’ve been coparenting quite well. Now, I could say a lot of things about Amanda’s parenting, but the long and short of it is that she and her new husband cater their parenting style to their two younger kids together (11f and 8m).

Because of this, he’s decreased his time at their house ever since he got the choice, and now spends every other weekend at their house. Around a month ago, Amanda and her husband made a “reading rule” for the kids.

The 8 year old has to read 30mins a day, the 11 year old has to read for an hour, and Callum has to read for two hours. I have no idea why they did this, I think it’s because the 8 year old is falling behind in his reading level and they wanted to keep things “fair” between the kids.

I think that this is ridiculous, as Callum is a very smart kid already, and he needs that time for homework and relaxing since he doesn’t have that much freetime to begin with. Amanda let me know that she expected me to enforce the “reading rule” when Callum is at my house. I told her that I would not.

She said that it was unfair to Callum’s half siblings that he could just leave for my house and not have to follow the rule, while they had to follow the rule no matter what. I told her tough luck, it’s my house and I make the rules, not her.

Well now, Callum is thinking about not staying with her at all anymore due to the increasing strictness of her and her husband’s rules. She told me that it’s all my fault that he doesn’t want to be around her anymore because I was so lax with the rules. I’m pretty sure I’m in the right here, but I though it might be a good idea to get some perspective, so AITA?

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Co-parenting is a tightrope walk, and this dad’s refusal to enforce his ex’s two-hour reading rule highlights a clash of parenting styles. Callum, a bright 15-year-old, faces an unfair burden: two hours of mandatory reading atop homework and teenage life, while his younger half-siblings get lighter loads. His mom’s push for “fairness” ignores his unique needs, driving a wedge in their bond. Dad’s stance protects Callum’s time and sanity, but risks escalating family tension.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: balancing fairness with individual needs in blended families. A 2023 study in Family Relations found that 62% of teens in co-parented households feel stressed when rules differ significantly between homes (Source: Wiley Online Library). As family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Effective co-parenting requires respecting each parent’s autonomy while prioritizing the child’s well-being” (Source: Gottman Institute). Amanda’s rule, meant to help her youngest, unfairly punishes Callum, who’s already proficient.

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Dad’s refusal is justified—two hours is excessive for a teen with no reading struggles, potentially fostering resentment toward books. A mediated talk with Amanda, ideally with Callum present, could clarify his needs and explore compromises, like counting homework toward reading time. Dad should encourage Callum to voice his feelings to his mom, fostering open communication.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit posse grabbed their pitchforks and reading glasses, dishing out a mix of outrage and snark—think a book club with a vendetta. Here’s what they had to say:

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4games1 − NTA Requiring your kid to read two hours a day on top of required textbook reading and assigned English class reading seems like a good way to inspire dislike for the hobby.

Viligans − NTA So how many hours a day are she and her husband reading? They should lead by example and being full grown adults, they probably should be reading for 4 hours/day. Y’know, to keep it fair.

AdrenalineAnxiety − NTA. This is RIDICULOUS. 2 hours of reading on top of potentially hours of homework? EVERY DAY? She is damaging her relationship with him and pushing him away and that's sad but on her.

Funny she's talking about fairness, but the 8 year old has to read for 30 minutes and the 15 year old has to read for 2 hours, despite a 15 year old no doubt having more homework and often more school commitments and other things drawing on their time.

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If it was 30 minutes as part of his homework I could perhaps understand it, but making him read for 4x more than the 8 year old who actually needs the practice as part of homework, when he doesn't, is not fair.

Demented-Alpaca − NTA That's a stupid rule. 2 hours a day is a LOT for a 15 yo who has to balance school, chores, friends, homework and hormones.. If he WANTS to read that's fine. But forcing it seems excessive.

Especially at that length of time.. I get it for the younger kids, it's a skill they need to develop. As to her 'it's not fair' argument... Neither is having rules forced on him for no legitimate reason ... Life sucks, it's never fair. She can deal.. Totally NTA

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Chaos-in-a-CookieJar − NTA if she thinks that it’s so unfair, she can get rid of the rule herself. I hate the type of parents who are so hyper focused on making things “fair” that they end up screwing over their kids anyway. It’s no surprise that he wants to stay with the reasonable parent.

stannenb − She said that it was unfair to Callum’s half siblings that he could just leave for my house and not have to follow the rule, while they had to follow the rule no matter what.

There are ways for your wife to have justified asking you to enforce her rules that might create some sympathy. But 'the other kids think it's unfair that Callum's parents are divorced and you share custody' is not one of them.. NTA.

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Takeme2yourrleader − NTA your co-parent can’t unilaterally decide a rule for both homes.

RLIntellectualpotato − NTA That rule is ridiculous and really should only apply to the child having trouble in school. Also the rule isn’t fair at all. The person who has to read the least is the one that needs it the most.

DisneyBuckeye − NTA - she wants him to read for **2 hours EVERY DAY**?? I'm guessing he's a sophomore in high school, and has homework and other stuff that goes along with a high school boy, how is he reasonably supposed to do this? I'd say that the time he spends on his homework should count towards that time.

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Granted, that won't help over the summer though. I'd encourage him to keep going, but his mom needs to back off on that rule. Especially if he's reading at/above grade level. He should probably talk to her about it (with you present) so that she can hear what his concerns are directly from him.

Unable_Ad5655 − NTA! I am an avid reader. A 2-hour daily reading mandate is absolutely absurd! The ONLY thing this will lead to is your son will hate reading!

These page-turning Reddit takes spark a question: Is Dad’s rebellion a win for Callum’s freedom, or does it risk fanning co-parenting flames?

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This reading rule ruckus shows how good intentions can misfire, turning a love for learning into a teenage burden. Dad’s refusal to enforce Amanda’s mandate protects Callum’s autonomy, but her blame game reveals deeper co-parenting cracks. A family sit-down could rewrite this story, balancing fairness with flexibility. Have you ever clashed with a co-parent over rules? How would you handle a rule that feels more like punishment than progress? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo open!

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