AITAH for locking my sister and her kids out of the basement (my room)?

Picture a 26-year-old introvert, stuck in her parents’ creepy basement during COVID while her sister and three kids claim the second floor. She pours her savings and sweat into transforming the musky space into a personal clubhouse—epoxy floors, track lighting, even a foosball table. But when her nephew pilfers her energy drinks and wrecks her consoles, she slaps locks on the doors. Her sister flips, demanding the basement become a family room, and things boil over when the woman calls her nephew a “filthy brat.” Their dad sides with her, but the rift festers.

This Reddit saga is a fiery clash of boundaries, entitlement, and family turf wars. Was locking the basement fair, or a selfish grab? It’s a story that hums with hard work, hurt feelings, and the fight for personal space.

‘AITAH for locking my sister and her kids out of the basement (my room)?’

This Reddit post unveils a woman’s stand to protect her hard-won sanctuary. Here’s her story, raw and unfiltered:

To make a long story short, my sister (32) and I (26F) ended up moving back home at the sametime due to COVID. I'm WFH, and he lots her job. Because she has three kids, she made a big stink to keep the entire second floor to her and her kids. I got 'stuck' with the creepy, musky basement because of her.

Only it turned out to be a dream. I'm very introverted, and nobody wanted to go down to the creepy, unfinished, spider-infested basement. So it worked. I spent every month since trying to finish the basement. I finished the floor with epoxy. Fixed the water heater on my own dime. Got a split-unit for heating/cooling. Exterminated. Then I installed some nice track lighting.

Got a mini-fridge and foos ball table. Now it's my own personal clubhouse. Until recently, when I noticed someone was stealing my energy drinks and messing with my game consoles. Nobody confessed. So I bought a lock and key for both doors, gave my dad the only spare (it's his house), and locked up on Thursday, so I could go to an office meeting.

That's when we found out it was my nephew, because he left his stuffed toy in there and apparently whined all day until my dad got home and let him in. Now my sister is raising hell about how I shouldn't get so much space to myself since I don't have kids; that I don't pay enough rent to justify it; that nothing in this arrangement is fair and she is demanding that I leave the space open as a family room.

That was not the arrangement though. The basement is my room, and I'm the one who spent all that time and money fixing it. Nobody wanted to be there until I was finished with it. Things got heated and I called her kid a filthy brat, because he is. He gets mud everywhere. Never washes his hands. And he's broken just about every console she's ever gotten the kids. And now she wants me kicked out of the house. AITAH?

ADVERTISEMENT

Quick Update: So after we all cooled down, I did talk to my father. He said he has zero interest in letting the kids down there. When my sister tried to protest, he pointed out to her that the place is still not safe for kids. There are still rat traps. Exposed wood. He pointed out that she, herself, kept screaming about there being 'mold' (there isn't).

So he doesn't want ANY kids down there. And unless she's willing to pay for an inspector to check (she's not), she has no say. So that shut her up really quick. Then she got into it with me for the 'filthy brat' comment, and I was about to apologize because I was heated. It was messed up. Only dad hopped in at that moment, and chose to have a serious conversation with her about the youngest not washing his hands.

ADVERTISEMENT

He apparently ruined several leftovers in the fridge last week, and 'slimed the butter' (I don't know. I don't WANT TO KNOW), which my dad did want to bring up anyway. Because the kid has a problem, and won't bathe. But I stepped out at that point because it sounded like he was mad. Very few things make my dad mad, than having to throw away perfectly good food. It's one of his triggers. So. Everything is shaping my way. For now.

This sibling showdown is a classic case of entitlement versus earned space. The woman’s transformation of the basement, funded and labored by her alone, turned a neglected corner into her private retreat, a necessity for her introversion and work-from-home life. Her sister’s demand for shared access, after dismissing the space as “creepy,” reeks of opportunism, amplified by her failure to discipline her son’s intrusive behavior. The “filthy brat” jab was harsh but rooted in frustration over repeated violations. The father’s backing, citing safety hazards, underscores the sister’s overreach.

ADVERTISEMENT

Family therapist Dr. Susan Forward notes, “Entitled family members exploit others’ efforts when boundaries are weak” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 61% of cohabitation disputes in multigenerational homes stem from unequal contributions (Source). The sister’s rent argument ignores the woman’s investment, while her parenting lapses—her son’s hygiene issues—shift blame unfairly.

The woman should keep the locks and offer a calm sit-down to reaffirm the original deal: second floor for sister, basement for her. “Clear agreements hold,” Forward advises. The sister must teach her kids respect for others’ spaces, perhaps with parenting support. The father could formalize the arrangement in writing.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit weighed in with takes as bold as a deadbolt. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

Duckieshoes101 − NTA. You had an arrangement. She got the second floor, you got the basement. The lock is a great idea, I love it. Don’t engage in the argument, it’s not her house, it’s your dad’s. So, as long as your dad isn’t asking for you to leave, just go grey rock over her complaints.

ADVERTISEMENT

Don’t fight, just ensure you’re good with your dad and ignore her. Maybe consider keeping the door locked when you’re there too, if she’s gonna raise a fuss.. Edit to add: awww! I’ve never gotten an award before! Thank you!

50-POTATOS − NTA. She is entitled as hell. Wow. However, the only solution that I can see is moving out, so I would get started on that if I were you.

Ready_South_6727 − NTA. Have Dad write up a contract for your living arrangements since sis, brought home 3kids and herself to a whole second floor alone demanding.. Make sure you claim your WFH office credit on taxes and such.. Make those brats stay out!

ADVERTISEMENT

NightWitch65 − NTA at all. Your sister and her kids are not entitled to your hard work. Shoot her words right back at her: 'It's not fair that you get the entire 2nd floor to yourselves and forced me into the basement until it's convenient for you.' I hate parents who think they're allowed to get away with anything just because they have kids. Your sister is a bigger brat than her kids, it seems. Tell her if she doesn't like it, she can leave.

srgonzo75 − NTA. She is effectively demanding that her children be able to take advantage of your work and investment into your larger family home instead of training her kids not to go into your space.

Common_Obligation489 − NTA your sister is a spoiled brat.

ADVERTISEMENT

MelodyRaine − NTA. Remind your dad that you made all the improvements on the space, and you were given an unfinished, unheated/cooled, infested space in order to cater to your sister and her children.

That you went completely out of pocket to fix the space up, and only now that it's a space worth being in does your sister and her children want entry. So why should you have to give up all the hard work and expense you put into that space just because your sister is making demands?

canvasshoes2 − NTA. Save and protect us from all these people who think others were put here on this earth to pay for and cater to them.. I'm glad your dad has your back. Your sister sounds like a pill.

ADVERTISEMENT

SmoothTie9825 − NTA. Funny how no one wanted to even go down in the creepy, unfinished and infested basement that didn't even have heated water, but your sister made such a fuss that you had to move in down there.

And now when you've put your blood, sweat and tears to fix it up, now she's making fuss again and wanting it creepy basement to be communal. I'm sorry but your sister sounds incredibly entitled, and I hope your dad's got your back.

Screamscaper − You are NTA for preserving your space, ESPECIALLY if you're paying rent (seems implied, I could be wrong). However, keep your anger with your sister and anyone else who thought it was fine for a kid to raid your fridge and use your things. I think the personal insult about the kid was a bit much. Doesn't change my final vote, tho.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit opinions are as sharp as a new lock, but do they miss the sister’s stress as a jobless single mom?

This story is a gritty mix of sweat, space, and sibling strife. The woman’s locked basement defended her haven, but her sharp words cut deep. Could a family contract or apology for the insult mend ties, or is her fortress her only peace? What would you do if family eyed your hard-earned space? Share your thoughts—have you ever fought to keep a sanctuary yours?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *