AITA for making a wedding dress for one sister but not the other?

Picture a 26-year-old woman, a skilled seamstress, crafting a wedding dress for her biological sister, Molly, using cherished fabric from their late mother. Her stepsister, Abby, now engaged, wants the same, but the woman hesitates, offering to make a dress for free if Abby buys her own fabric. When Abby demands the mother’s fabric, and their father and stepmother pile on, citing cash woes, the woman stands firm, guarding her sentimental heirloom. Tensions flare, and she’s left questioning her choice.

This Reddit saga is a tender weave of love, loss, and family friction. Was her refusal fair, or a slight against her stepsister? It’s a story that glows with memory, loyalty, and the tug of fairness.

‘AITA for making a wedding dress for one sister but not the other?’

This Reddit post unveils a woman’s struggle to balance family ties and personal boundaries. Here’s her story, raw and unfiltered:

I (26F) have 2 sisters. Molly (29F), is biologically related to me while Abby (27F), is my stepsister. I have no problem with either of my sisters and love them dearly but I am a lot closer to Molly than I am to Abby, since Abby and I were almost teenagers when we met..

For context, a few years ago my mother passed away and I was handed some large rolls of fabrics, and since Molly’s wedding was coming up, I offered to make a dress for my sister free of charge using the fabrics. Just recently Abby got engaged and asked me to make her wedding dress as well. I agreed on the condition that she provided her own fabric.

When Abby asked if I had any of my mothers' fabric left, I said I did but felt uncomfortable making a dress for my stepsister using my mothers' fabric.. She got upset at this and said that it felt unfair. After this encounter, I got a few calls from my stepmother and father begging me to let Abby use the fabrics since some wedding fabrics can be expensive and they were strapped on cash.

I told them that there were a lot cheaper fabric alternatives and offered to help them find a few but they would always hang up. So I’m curious if I’m the AH in all this, I feel like I’m justified as I’m still making Abby a free wedding dress and not taking in labor costs.

Molly did pay me for her wedding dress despite my refusal, but I didn’t want to make Abby do the same.. TL;DR I made my bio sister a wedding dress with our mothers' fabrics but am refusing to use the same fabric for my step sisters wedding dress.

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This family clash is a poignant case of sentimental value versus perceived fairness. The woman’s bond with her late mother, embodied in the fabric, ties her and Molly in shared grief, making its use for Molly’s dress deeply meaningful. Abby, a stepsister with no connection to the mother, sees the fabric as a cost-saving perk, not a legacy, and her push—backed by their parents—ignores its emotional weight. The woman’s offer to make a dress for free is generous, underscoring her care for Abby despite their lesser bond.

Family therapist Dr. Pauline Boss notes, “Heirlooms carry grief; their use must honor the giver’s memory” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Family Issues found that 59% of stepfamily conflicts involve unequal treatment perceptions (Source). Abby’s hurt is valid but misdirected; the parents’ pressure risks resentment by dismissing the woman’s loss.

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She should hold her boundary, calmly explaining the fabric’s significance, perhaps showing Abby alternative fabrics in person. “Clarity reduces conflict,” Boss advises. Abby could explore budget dresses if finances are tight. The parents must respect the woman’s autonomy over her mother’s legacy.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit stitched together takes as bold as a wedding veil. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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DialPlumeria − NTA- it was your mother's fabrics and she did not know your mom.. What if you want to get married and want the Fabrics for your dress? Say 'sorry but these have sentimental value to me and I want them for my future dress, and to hand them down to my potential daughters '. Your dad and step-mom can buy her her own fabrics but they seem to be stingy.

ElderberryFearless86 − Future question from a well meaning person: Oh, how sweet,Molly, you had your mom’s fabric in your dress! Will you be able to do that, too, OP?. Op: No, my stepsister wanted to save a few bucks so it went to her. NTA. Your gift is the dress making, not the material, Abby should appreciate that for the huge gift it already is.

Lacroix24601 − NTA. Abby (should have) had no expectations to use the fabric from her stepdad’s ex wife. No harm in asking, but pushing the point & getting her mom/your stepmom and father (!) involved is the a**hole behavior here.

It wasn’t like your mother helped raise Abby and therefore there was a relationship/link. You are kind to Abby for saying yes, I’ll make your dress, just provide the fabric. Seems to me like they just want a free dress.

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lisab2266 − NTA. The fabric has sentimental value for you but for Abby, it’s just free fabric. You are willing to make her the dress for free which is a huge gift in itself and shows that you do care. I don’t think your family understands the loss you feel when losing a mother. Don’t let them bully you into giving in as you will regret it and potentially end up resenting your family.

Pinkie_Flamingo − NTA. Your stepsister's budget is not more important than the sentimental value of that fabric.

ElderberryFearless86 − NTA. The fabric is sentimental for you and Molly, but just a cost savings for Abby.

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[Reddit User] − INFO: did your mom know/like Abby?

Consistent-Leopard71 − NTA. The fact the Abby, your father and stepmother all feel entitled to the fabric from your late mother is troubling. Instead of being grateful that you are willing and able to make a wedding dress for her free of charge, she is demanding free fabric as well. You have done nothing wrong here.

moxoxa8 − NTA. You offered to do everything for free and just ask for the fabric. It makes sense that you wouldn't wanna use the fabric your mom left you.

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Lanky_Cauliflower − NTA It would be a bit different had Abby been the stepchild of your mother and had a close relationship with her, but she is not. I’m sure you have already done this, but explain to your father and stepmother that you didn’t just use the fabric for your sister because it was free to you, you used it for the sentimental value of it, being fabric from your mother.

I’m sure it was a sweet way your sister was able to feel your mother’s presence on her wedding day. Abby would not feel the same. Are you married? If not, and you plan to marry at some point in the future (even if it is not sometime in the near future), explain to them that you would like to feel the same closeness as your sister was able to feel to your mother on your wedding day, since she will not be physically present on your wedding day.

If Abby is really that strapped for cash, then she does not have to take you up on the very generous offer of making a custom wedding dress, and can go find something cheaper off the rack.. Edit: missing a word.

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These Reddit opinions are as sharp as a seamstress’s needle, but do they miss Abby’s perspective on feeling excluded?

This story is a delicate blend of love, loss, and limits. The woman’s stand to protect her mother’s fabric honors her grief but stings her stepsister. Could a heart-to-heart or fabric shopping trip ease the rift, or is her boundary the only way? What would you do with a family heirloom under pressure? Share your thoughts—have you ever clashed over a memory-laden keepsake?

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