AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband who sit in his chair all day long watching videos?

Picture a 74-year-old woman, vibrant despite chronic pain, living in a house she owns outright, but tethered to a husband who does little more than sit in his chair from noon to night, glued to his computer or TV. For 9 years, he’s lived rent-free, mowing the lawn grudgingly and offering no chores or conversation. She dreams of joy in her final years, but his demand for $30,000, both cars, and most of her home’s contents in divorce talks pushes her to the edge.

This Reddit saga is a raw cry for freedom from a lopsided marriage. Would divorcing him be selfish, or a reclaiming of her life? It’s a story that burns with independence, frustration, and the weight of unshared burdens.

‘AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband who sit in his chair all day long watching videos?’

This Reddit post unveils a woman’s fight to break free from a freeloading spouse. Here’s her story, unfiltered:

I, F74, have been married to my husband for 5 years. We have been together for 9 years. From the minute he gets up, which is usually around noon, he sits in his chair and goes on his computer doing who knows what until it is time for dinner. After dinner, he goes right back there until 10 pm when he comes into the bedroom to watch TV until 2 or 3 am.

We live in a large 4-bedroom house. He does not participate in any household chores. He does cut our small backyard. It takes 10 minutes, and he complains about it all the time. He does not clean the cars. He just sits in his chair. No conversation. I own the house. I paid for it myself. I do not see any reason to stay married. I do not see what he brings to the table.

I would like to go out of the house occasionally. I am a chronic pain patient; however, I do not let that stop me from enjoying life. So, is it wrong to kick him to the curb so I can find happiness for the last years of my life? He came into the marriage with nothing and that is what I am sending him out with. He has lived rent free in my house since I met him.

ETA: Thank all of you for your comments. I appreciate everyone's input and insight. My husband consulted an attorney today. He told me he wants 30K, both of our vehicles, (one is a 1998 Mercedes SLK, and the other is a 2020 Honda CRV) most of the furniture in the house and kitchen supplies.

Wow!! I will split with him the money we have saved together during the course of our marriage. 30K is a nice starting figure but in reality, he will not get that. He has lived rent free for 5 years. So, if he has paid 1k per month for the last 5 years he would have paid me 60k. But he did not.. I finally feel free. I can breathe.. Peace and happiness to all of you.

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This marital breakdown is a stark case of imbalance and entitlement. The woman’s husband, contributing minimally (a 10-minute lawn chore) while living rent-free for nearly a decade, fails to meet the partnership’s emotional or practical needs. Her chronic pain amplifies the strain of his inaction, while his exorbitant divorce demands—$30,000, cars, furniture—reveal a sense of unearned claim to her assets. Her desire for divorce is a bid for self-preservation, not cruelty.

Marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “A partnership thrives on mutual effort; one-sided contribution breeds resentment” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Marriage and Family found that 68% of divorces in older couples cite lack of mutual support as a key factor (Source). Local laws, like Florida’s homestead rules mentioned online, may complicate eviction, but her pre-marital ownership of the house strengthens her position.

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She should consult a divorce attorney to protect her assets, as his demands suggest opportunism. “Legal clarity empowers,” Chapman advises. A mediator could negotiate a fair split of joint savings, but his lack of contribution limits his claim. She might explore community activities to rebuild joy post-divorce.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit swung in with takes as bold as a lawnmower’s roar. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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fiestafan73 − Girl, you have a hobosexual infestation! Time to fumigate! NTA.

z-eldapin − Change the wifi password.. If that doesn't get his attention, nothing will.

[Reddit User] − No you’re not, he’s not quite pulling his weight or being a partner by any means.

Senior-Fisherman8620 − So basically… he’s a child? Even my kids have to do dishes and laundry and clean toilets. He's like a bad guest that never left. He can’t even be bothered to “romance” you occasionally? Perhaps have a real conversation occasionally.

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Take dinner off your hands every now and then? How can he not feel pathetic and miserable? I would feel. like such a looser. Girl… you deserve to be cherished. To be loved. To be supported. To have someone to take care of you just much as you take care of them.. You don’t have a husband. You have a user houseguest.

Pilea_Paloola − Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? No? Then, there’s your answer. Hire a neighbor kid to help mow and be on your way. He’s freeloading off of you. NTA.

PerfectCover1414 − He found his meal ticket and this is how he is happiest. NTA you be happy for a change.

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Empty_Comedian_7173 − How old is he.

Hopeful_Contest7055 − Yikes. Definitely not. I would definitely kick him to the curb.

jjz519 − I don't know what the laws are where you live, but in Florida (US), the law would make the owner of the house allow the spouse to live there because it is his homestead, even though she bought the house before they were married. Even if he never put a penny towards upkeep.

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I was shocked when I found out when I was selling my house that my husband had to go to the closing and sign off or I couldn't sell it. I thought there was a mistake since I owned it for several years before I even knew him. It turns out that was accurate. He wasn't entitled to any money from the sale, but could stop it if he wanted to.

What a lesson that was for me! In my case, he did sign off for me to sell, but if he didn't you might be sending me care packages in jail. So, before making any public statements regarding your thoughts, you might want to talk to a lawyer about how you can safeguard your possessions.

albatross6232 − Girly pop, you are discovering now what our younger daughters and grand daughter have already discovered: that men are not worth our time and effort when they themselves won’t put in time and effort. Kick him out. Get a little dog or cat to come home to, and enjoy going out with your friends and family without having that existential dread you likely feel every time you go home knowing he will be there. NTA.

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These Reddit opinions are as sharp as a clean break, but do they miss the legal hurdles she might face?

This story is a fierce blend of resolve, regret, and renewal. The woman’s push for divorce seeks to reclaim her home and happiness, but her husband’s greedy demands muddy the path. Could a lawyer or mediator smooth the split, or is a hard exit her only way? What would you do with a partner who’s more guest than spouse? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to cut ties to find peace?

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