AITA for kicking a freshman out of my student-run show because she made a “joke” about Hitler?

In a high school theater buzzing with anticipation, a 17-year-old director faced a storm no script could prepare her for. The stage was set for a gripping drama, but offstage, a group chat message sparked a fire. A freshman’s careless “joke” about Hitler, complete with hearts and kissy faces, left a Jewish cast member shaken, forcing a tough call. The young director’s choice to prioritize her cast’s safety over second chances stirred whispers in the halls, raising questions about fairness, consequences, and trust.

The weight of leadership hung heavy as she navigated the fallout. With a counselor calling her decision bullying and a 14-year-old pleading her case, the drama unfolded beyond the stage. This story dives into a high school clash where emotions run high, and the line between right and wrong blurs, inviting us to ponder: how do you balance sensitivity with accountability?

‘AITA for kicking a freshman out of my student-run show because she made a “joke” about Hitler?’

I (17F) am directing a play for my school this spring. The show is very dark and has some jarring moments. This being said the cast needs to feel comfortable with each other and trust each other. The cast list came out a few days ago when one of my leads we'll call her Lauren (16F) came up to me and showed me a picture of a group chat.

Rylie (not real name) who was casted in my show had sent a picture of Hitler with hearts around him and kissy faces as well as saying he was hot. Lauren is Jewish, and no longer feels safe being in the cast with someone who would send something like that. I emailed Rylie that night letting her know that she has been removed from the cast and I will need her script back.

She asked if we could talk in person so I said sure we'll meet in the morning. We meet up the next morning, I asked if she wanted to go somewhere private but she shook her head. I told her I needed to look out for my whole cast and that everyone needs to feel safe.

Her actions are what caused this consequence and there will be other opportunities in the future. she handed back her script and went back to class. Later during my study period, one of the counselors asked to talk to me. She told me that what I did was wrong. I was bullying this girl, she's only 14, ext.

I stood my ground and said I did what I did. She asked why I couldn't mend the friendship, my reply was 'I'm not here to mend friendships, I'm here to direct a show.'  We went back and forth for a while before she ended the conversation.. So Reddit, AITA for kicking a freshman out of my student-run show because she made a 'joke' about Hitler?

EDIT:. The school knew what she did as well as her parents.. ​. EDIT 2:. It is NOT a dark comedy. It is a drama/horror.. ​EDIT 3: I probably should have explained this a little better. When we talked in person I said 'I'll hear you out.' she just shook her head no and said no.

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Navigating a high school theater production is like walking a tightrope—balancing creativity, trust, and responsibility. The young director’s decision to remove a freshman for an offensive “joke” about Hitler sparked a heated debate, pitting safety against second chances. The freshman’s message, with hearts around Hitler’s image, wasn’t just a misstep—it was a gut punch to a Jewish cast member’s sense of security.

The opposing views are clear: the director prioritized her cast’s trust, essential for a drama tackling heavy themes. Meanwhile, the counselor argued the 14-year-old deserved leniency, citing her age and calling the removal bullying. The director’s stance, though firm, reflects a broader issue: how schools handle culturally insensitive behavior. According to a 2019 ADL report, anti-Semitic incidents in U.S. schools rose 12% from 2017 to 2018, highlighting the need for swift action to foster safe environments .

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Dr. Deborah Gilboa, a youth development expert, notes, “Teens need consequences to learn empathy, but those consequences should leave room for growth” . Here, the director’s choice to remove the freshman was a consequence, not a punishment, ensuring a safe space for her cast. However, the freshman’s refusal to explain or apologize during their meeting suggests a missed opportunity for dialogue. Schools must balance discipline with education, perhaps through workshops on cultural sensitivity, to address such issues constructively.

For the director, standing firm was about leadership, not cruelty. Offering the freshman future opportunities shows a path for redemption. Schools could adopt restorative practices, like mediated discussions, to rebuild trust while addressing harm. This approach fosters accountability without alienating young learners, encouraging reflection over resentment.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, diving into this high school drama with a mix of cheers and raised eyebrows. Their takes were as lively as a theater rehearsal gone wild, offering support, critique, and a sprinkle of humor. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

CuriosiT38 − NTA. You talked with her candidly about the what and why, and making a safe place for your cast is a reasonable objective. Did she apologize to Lauren or the rest of the cast or otherwise try to make amends? I don't understand the Y T A responses as it sounds like you aren't excluding her from future things, just from this one.

kitn − NTA. The anti-Semitic actions of one student were incredibly inappropriate and made another student feel uncomfortable and potentially unsafe. As the person directing the play, it is your responsibility to ensure that the people cast in your play (or otherwise working on it) feel safe and comfortable.

Additionally, the behavior of the counselor is highly questionable, leading me to believe she was only told the other side of the events and never sought complete understanding (perhaps 'Riley' said that you had let her go for a stupid joke that she made in a group chat.)

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Intelligent_Stop5564 − NTA.. Your stance is legitimate. The Nazis were responsible for over fifteen million deaths.. Cutesy Hitler memes should not become a thing.. Thank you for standing up for your Jewish classmate.. Good luck with your play.

ripleyxxoo − NTA. The “you went overboard. It was just a joke” crowd in these replies are sus. The truth is there are two aggrieved parties in this situation. One who lost an opportunity because of a bad joke and another who felt unsafe and disrespected because of bad joke.

Keeping Rylie in the play would put her feelings as someone minimizing the Holocaust over someone with cultural trauma, as dramatic as that sounds. You took a side and it wasn’t the Hitler joke one, which is probably the best as a director. As a 14 year old I also said wildly offensive things.

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My age did not and should not mean I didn’t face the consequences of my actions. I could see if she got expelled or suspended but all that happened is she was disallowed from an extracurricular activity. Small price to pay. In another situation, she might not be so lucky.

Jack-Omnium-Artium − NTA. People saying she is just a kid and deserves a second chance are right, but that doesn't mean the second chance has to come with this show. She can take the punishment as an opportunity to reflect on how insensitive behavior can affect those around her, as well as their perception of the type of person she is.

[Reddit User] − NTA if you’re old enough to know who Hitler is, you’re old enough to know not to joke about him like that. Actions have consequences. It’s not like she’s *suspended.* She’ll know in the future words have impact.

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GregTheTerrible − At 14 she's old enough to know actions have consequences. She's old enough to be able to make decisions. Either A. she genuinely has a thing for Hitler, in which case boot the bigot out. This isn't seeing some guy in a teen magazine, this is going for one of the most infamous people of all time. B. she thinks this is a funny thing to joke about in a group setting openly.

It's time for her to learn it isn't. Further you've got a minority cast member coming to you that she no longer feels safe around the possible bigot and rightfully so. So you're presented with 2 options, protect the minority cast member or side with the 'hiter's a heartthrob' cast member. You made the right call. Don't back down. NTA.

[Reddit User] − I think the hardest lesson of my teen years was that a lot of adults are lazy and stupid and genuinely don’t give two shits about safety or justice. Thank you for giving a s**t. You didn’t do anything wrong, nta,

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and if you continue to get pushback on this from the school counselor, I would take this issue even further (principal? School board?) making hitler jokes is NEVER ok and this is a hill to die on, imo.

Jazzlike_Humor3340 − NTA. Hitler with little hearts and kissy-faces? That's not a joke.. If you're going to make jokes about Hitler, you'd better be Mel Brooks. Actually, that gives me an idea. Since you are doing theater, perhaps get a copy of the original version of *The Producers,* and show it to your group.

'If you want to make jokes about Hitler, this is how you do it, and this is an example of using the performing arts as a way of making political commentary through humor.'. (And you're less likely to get flack for *The Producers* than *Blazing Saddles*.)

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jameson8016 − NTA and might I say that 'I'm not here to mend friendships; I'm here to run a show.' is the most theatre metal thing I've ever heard. Lol. But yea, Nazi and Nazi related themed jokes aren't great things to sweep under a rug. Things like that tend to multiply when left unchecked and frankly I'm concerned about your school wanting to ignore it.

These Redditors rallied behind the director’s call, praising her for protecting her cast, though some questioned the counselor’s push for leniency. But do these fiery opinions capture the full story, or are they just fanning the flames?

This high school drama unveils the messy reality of leadership, sensitivity, and consequences. The young director’s choice to prioritize her cast’s safety over a freshman’s “joke” reflects the tough calls teens face in roles of responsibility. While the counselor’s plea for second chances resonates, the need for a safe creative space took precedence. What would you do if you were directing this show and faced with such a choice? Share your thoughts and experiences—how would you balance accountability with giving a young teen room to grow?

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