AITA for constantly insisting people try to say my name correctly, to the point it got someone fired?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A government office turned into a battleground over a name when an employee’s push for proper pronunciation led to a coworker’s firing. With a culturally rich but complex name, the employee faced years of dismissive mispronunciations, sparking frustration in a professional setting. The break room, once a place for casual chats, now hums with tension as colleagues grapple with the fallout of HR complaints that ended a career.

The fired coworker’s cavalier attitude—brushing off corrections with “close enough”—fueled the conflict, but the employee’s relentless reporting has colleagues crying foul. Was the push for respect a justified stand, or did it go too far? This story of identity, workplace respect, and consequences pulls readers into a nuanced debate where culture and professionalism collide.

‘AITA for constantly insisting people try to say my name correctly, to the point it got someone fired?’

I have immigrant parents and they gave me a lovely complicated name that many people cannot pronounce. I speak one of the languages okay and the other barely, but have picked up some pronunciation. As for my name let's use a similar sounding example name: Szczepan-Justus Meiyer-Szcześniewski.

It's been a lifelong struggle to have people pronounce my name properly. I've been working a government job for 5ish years. In all that time no one has really bothered to learn to say my name correctly. They'll try and say my name but do it in such a condescending half-arsed effort it comes out like 'shubaduba my-shababaski'.

When I try and correct them, they dismiss it and resume that butchery next time. After 2 years at the job I got frustrated. We're in a professional environment and they should make a professional effort to learn my name. I do the same, I always make an effort to try and pronounce a person's name as best I can to their satisfaction.

So it got to the point every time people would try to say my name in that dismissive manner I'd report it to HR because it felt offensive. One lady finally accrued 3ish years of my complaints (if I tried to correct her, she'd say things like 'it's just a name'

or 'close enough') and with all the complaints she was let go for workplace bullying.  My colleagues are quite upset at me and a few said I should learn to take a joke. To me it just felt like people were being deliberately obtuse over my 'foreign name'..

Edit. This blew up. The full name was an example of how badly it gets butchered not that I insist on being called my full name. To be clear, I'm not reporting people who *genuinely try* to say my name but don't get it right

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Like I said before, it's people who in a dismissive manner say something that barely resembles my name. At the risk of identifying myself, my given name includes Szczepan. If you can say 'fi**sh** **ch**ips' you can say sh-chepan. Not Shchacha or Shapachan.

A workplace name dispute turned a professional environment into a cultural flashpoint. The employee’s insistence on proper pronunciation reflects a deep need for respect tied to their identity, while the coworker’s dismissive attitude signaled disregard, culminating in her firing for bullying. Colleagues’ backlash suggests a lack of understanding about the issue’s weight.

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Dr. Derald Wing Sue, a diversity expert, notes in Microaggressions in Everyday Life, “Mispronouncing names repeatedly, especially after correction, can feel like erasure of identity.” A 2023 study from the Journal of Organizational Behavior found that 50% of employees with non-Anglo names report feeling disrespected by persistent mispronunciations. The employee’s given name, akin to Szczepan, isn’t phonetically complex for English speakers with effort, yet the coworker’s refusal over years suggests intentional neglect.

The employee’s frequent HR reports, while escalating, were a response to unaddressed grievances, but they may have alienated peers. Dr. Sue advises, “Education alongside enforcement fosters inclusion.” The employee could have proposed a name pronunciation workshop, while HR might have intervened earlier with training. Colleagues should make genuine efforts to learn names, using tools like NameCoach. A workplace culture of mutual respect could prevent such drastic outcomes.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit dove into this workplace drama with a roar, serving up a mix of support and shade like a heated office meeting. From cheering the employee’s stand to slamming their approach, the comments are a fiery blend. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

[Reddit User] − NTA - it's f**king rude to dismiss someone correcting the pronunciation of your name, AND unprofessional. If I said that to my boss, it would be an issue.

oasinocean − YTA, I have a hard to pronounce name and when I can tell people are struggling with it, I give them the option to call me by my much simpler middle or last names. You honestly can’t expect people to be able to wrap their tongues around certain sounds that they didn’t grow up with.

[Reddit User] − YTA. This is coming from a dude with an 18 letter foreign first name.. Get over yourself. Ain't no one got time for that...you should be ashamed of yourself.

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RedditUser69292739 − YTA. I can’t say my best friend of 15 years name. I have said his name thousands of times and never gotten it right, he has a harder to pronounce African name and a lot of people can’t say it. He accepts that and never gives me a hard time about it.

If your coworkers can’t say your name then you can either give them an easier nickname or accept that your name will be mispronounced the majority of the time. Your coworker kinda sucks for how dismissive she was over not being able to pronounce your name,

but she could have been embarrassed or had a previous speech impediment. Or honestly pissed at being repeatedly reported. Regardless that is a terrible reason for someone to lose their job and your coworkers are 100% justified in blaming you.

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pbkind − NTA people should respect other humans enough to call them by the right name. Especially after being asked for three f**king years. Since HR was involved she was definitely talked to about this multiple times before being let go.

Refusing to get someone's name correct is like saying 'look, I don't care if I misrepresent your existence. My convenience is more important than your comfort.' Her determination to never learn the right way after years of correction is beyond lazy and firmly camped in a**hole town.

[Reddit User] − YTA. By very much. It's one thing to be proud of your heritage, it's another to demand that everyone else treat your name as more than what it is intended: to identify you. For what it's worth I'm Chinese, born in HK and grew up in the US,

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and it's common practice for people like me to have Anglicised names for the sake of our new communities - I would not expect or demand my classmates or colleagues to accurately phonetically pronounce my actual Chinese name.

Well, besides you, since you're demanding that of everyone else, and if you make a mistake you had better apologize profusely on your own behalf and practice everyday until you address me correctly.

[Reddit User] − YTA - you sound like one of those entitled kids that would get mad for anything. Seriously? Every time someone says your name in a way you think its dismissive you file an HR complaint? You sound like a nightmare honestly.

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'Yeah I make a sincer effort to pronounce everyeone's names... carl, nancy, javier, laquisha. And then I get mad when they can't pronounce Szczepan-Justus Meiyer-Szcześniewsk and so I report them to HR' If I was your colleagues, I would hate you too for getting a coworker fired because of your woke-ness. You need to toughen up.

Man_of_Average − YTA for putting everyone around you in a position where they have to struggle to pronounce sounds that are foreign to them or else you'll consider them an a**hole. Having a long name is a nuisance in a professional setting.

Three or four syllables is about as long as can be expected of people even with familiar sounds to get correct consistently. I know it's constantly happening to you because it's your life, but these people are only in a position where they have to pronounce your name occasionally.

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You're over estimating how much time and practice your coworkers have to invest in you. Either come up with something simpler that people can be fairly expected to remember or get over yourself and deal with the fumbled words.

vanastalem − YTA. My first name people get wrong all the time (it's Irish but not super uncommon) and I could care less and will answer to variations of it by patients at work. I also use my middle name which is a common name a lot and many people in my personal life call me by that name.

cpMetis − YTA.. Names are for communication. They are trying to communicate. You aren't. If they put in an effort to get it right and can't, oh well. You'd only be NTA if everyone was actually trying to make fun of you.. Which does not at all sound like that's the case.

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These Redditors split on whether respect or rigidity won out, with some backing cultural pride and others eyeing the firing’s fallout. Do their takes hit the mark, or are they missing the nuance? This name debate has sparked a lively clash.

This name pronunciation saga reveals the power of identity and respect in the workplace. The employee’s push for correct pronunciation was a stand for dignity, but their HR complaints cost a coworker’s job, straining office ties. The coworker’s dismissal of corrections fueled the fire, yet earlier intervention could have cooled it. Education and effort can bridge such divides. How would you handle a name that’s hard to pronounce at work? Share your thoughts below!

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