AITA dorm mate tried to starve herself, fainted, hurt, and blame it on me?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a dorm buzzing with post-lockdown party plans, a woman’s knack for eating big at buffets caught her dorm mate’s curiosity. Sharing her habit of fasting for days before feasting, she warned it wasn’t for everyone—only to find her words twisted when her dorm mate starved herself, fainted, and crashed with a hip injury. Blamed for a “s**tty suggestion,” she stood her ground, refusing to apologize for another’s reckless choice. It’s a tale that mixes celebration with caution, where a casual chat turned into a health scare.

This story dives into the murky waters of personal habits and misplaced blame, sparking a Reddit firestorm. The community rallied behind the woman but raised alarms about her fasting, tossing out health warnings with their support. With humor and heart, this narrative pulls you into a world where good intentions collide with dangerous decisions, leaving you to wonder: who’s really at fault?

‘AITA dorm mate tried to starve herself, fainted, hurt, and blame it on me?’

I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects.

I normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).

We were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.

Before the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.

Turned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.

She was and is still angry at me for my 's**tty suggestion', but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.. AITA?

This dorm drama is a stark reminder of how casual conversations can spiral into serious consequences. The woman’s fasting routine, which she attributes to family genetics, prompted her dorm mate’s dangerous experiment, despite a clear warning not to try it. The dorm mate’s fainting and injury were her own doing, but her blame reflects a refusal to own her choice. The woman’s firm stance against apologizing is fair—she didn’t suggest the fast—but her eating habits raise red flags.

The broader issue here is the risks of extreme dieting and the influence of health-related advice. A 2023 study in the Journal of Eating Disorders found that prolonged fasting, like 2-3 days, can lead to severe health risks, including fainting and organ stress, especially in untrained individuals. The woman’s pattern of fasting and binging aligns with disordered eating, as Reddit noted, which could harm her long-term health.

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Dr. Cynthia Bulik, an eating disorder expert, states, “Extreme fasting isn’t a genetic gift—it’s a behavior that can mask serious disorders” . The dorm mate’s collapse underscores the danger of mimicking such habits without medical guidance. The woman’s warning was a good start, but her openness about fasting may have unintentionally inspired the attempt.

The woman should seek a health checkup, using resources like Mayo Clinic to assess her eating patterns, and encourage her dorm mate to do the same. Clearer communication about the risks could prevent future misunderstandings.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit came in hot, serving up a lively mix of support for the woman and concern for both parties’ health. From calling out the dorm mate’s recklessness to urging the woman to rethink her fasting, the comments are a spicy blend of judgment and care. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

Ximetigo1 − NTA but starving yourself for three days then binging is a pretty bad eating disorder so take care of yourself

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Life_with_lemonz − NTA, but I just wanted to say that I do the same thing. My Dr diagnosed me as having an eating disorder. She calls it binging and restricting. I now fast intermittently. If I know I’m going out for a big dinner I’ll skip breakfast and lunch, but just for that day. Most day’s I’ll only eat between the hours of 12pm and 5pm.

5945883 − NTA but... That's not a healthy habit. I understand skipping a meal to build appetite - that would be intermittent fasting - but fasting 3 days? It's not genetics and you are not gifted, you have trained your body to do that. It's an eating disorder.

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Your friend fainted because her body wasn't used to it, not because she was born without a talent for fasting. Evidently it doesn't weigh on you as much as others, but it's unhealthy. Maybe consider picking up a workout routine and simply workout a little more (but within reason!) when you want to build up appetite or stay in shape - or just... Eat a normal amount of food at events. It's okay, you know. Take care.. Source: a recovered anorexic.

EtheralGarlicbread − Starving and bingeing is not fasting - that's an eating disorder. I hope you and the dorm friend find the help and support you need. NTA.

itsnotbritneybitch − ESH - You both fall under the category of “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”. Yes, she’s an a**hole (and an i**ot) for doing that. However, you could be malnourishing yourself without any symptoms. You should go to a specialist to make sure you’re not harming yourself unintentionally.. You’re not being TA towards her. You’re being TA to *you*.

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calico_may − NTA but you have very disordered eating habits.

WannabeInzynier − I’m very concerned about how dismissive everyone is towards your roommate. I’m reserving judgement, but if she’s so willing to go hungry even if she’s unwell, this is cause for serious concern. If you get to the point of feeling unwell and almost passing out, that is NOT a good sign.

Suggesting a liquid diet is never a good idea- there may be many impressionable and vulnerable people around you who may be listening. Please don’t spread this misinformation and please please see your doctor about your behaviour and make sure your roommate gets help.

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StarryGlow − NTA but jfc stop supporting OP’s eating disorder in the comments ffs

Beautiful-Mood − Hey just wanted to say that’s not normal at all, and it sounds like you and other members of your family have eating disorders. Please take care of yourself, reach out to a medical professional of some kind

iLikeEggs0 − ESH, you probably could have explained that you have a severe eating disorder BEFORE you told her how you can eat so much rather than after, and she shouldn’t be silly enough to do something like that.

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These Redditors backed the woman’s refusal to apologize, slamming the dorm mate’s blame game, but many pressed her to see a doctor for her eating habits. Some saw the dorm mate’s actions as a cry for help, while others labeled both behaviors unhealthy. Do these hot takes capture the full story, or are they just stirring the pot?

This woman’s story is a sharp wake-up call that sharing personal habits can have unintended fallout, especially when health is at stake. Her dorm mate’s collapse was a self-inflicted wound, but the blame she hurled reflects a deeper refusal to take responsibility. Meanwhile, the woman’s fasting raises questions about her own well-being, echoing Reddit’s concern. It’s a tale of caution and consequence, where a party plan turned into a health lesson. How would you respond if a friend dangerously copied your habits? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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