AITA for telling my mum I love her but the following day of her death, I will throw her things away?
In a cozy Greek home, brimming with love and clutter, a daughter’s annual visit turned into a battle against towering stacks of books and decades-old Tupperware. The air was thick with nostalgia but heavier with frustration as she faced her mother’s hoarding tendencies. This isn’t just about tidying up—it’s a heartfelt struggle between a daughter’s devotion and the chaos threatening to bury her favorite person. Can love coexist with exasperation when every corner hides expired food and forgotten drachmas?
The scene unfolds in a two-story house, where every room groans under the weight of memories and magazines. The daughter, now 32, cherishes her mother’s warm hugs and life lessons but dreads the endless piles that define their space. Readers can’t help but feel her torn emotions—love for her mother clashing with the urge to reclaim order. What happens when a heartfelt cleanup spirals into a painful confrontation?
‘AITA for telling my mum I love her but the following day of her death, I will throw her things away?’
Hoarding isn’t just clutter—it’s a complex emotional labyrinth. The daughter’s outburst reflects the strain of navigating a loved one’s mental health challenge. Her mother’s willingness to part with items, even reluctantly, is a small victory, but the threat to discard everything post-mortem cut deep. Dr. Gail Steketee, a hoarding expert, notes, “Hoarding often stems from emotional attachments or trauma, making letting go feel like losing part of oneself”.
The daughter’s frustration is understandable—she’s wading through physical and emotional debris. Her mother, meanwhile, clings to objects as anchors to memories or identity. This clash highlights a broader issue: hoarding affects 2-6% of people, often straining family ties (American Psychiatric Association). The daughter’s threat, though harsh, stems from fear of her mother’s safety in an unsafe home.
To move forward, patience is key. The daughter could gently encourage professional help, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, which research shows can reduce hoarding behaviors (Journal of Clinical Psychology). Organizing sessions should be short, with breaks for fun—like swimming—to ease tension. Framing donations as helping others, as one commenter suggested, could shift her mother’s perspective.
Ultimately, the daughter should apologize for her words while reinforcing her love. Open communication, paired with professional support, can balance compassion with progress, ensuring the home becomes a safer, shared space.
See what others had to share with OP:
Reddit’s hot takes are as candid as a Greek summer breeze—here’s what the community had to say:
![[Reddit User] − NTA - my parents are also hoarders so I have some sense of what you are dealing with. It’s a mental illness, they think that stuff is precious, but it’s meaningless garbage. You are doing anything to your mother, she needs to understand what an absolute burden she would be leaving you. When I finally hit my breaking point I told my mother after she was gone I was just going to light a match, so you managed to be much kinder than I was.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/265129cmt-15.png)
These opinions range from fiery to empathetic, but do they capture the full complexity of hoarding’s emotional toll?
This story is a poignant reminder that love can coexist with frustration, especially when mental health challenges like hoarding enter the mix. The daughter’s words were a misstep, but her heart is in the right place—trying to protect her mother and their shared memories. What would you do if faced with a loved one’s overwhelming clutter? Share your thoughts and experiences below—have you ever had to navigate a similar family dynamic?
