AITA for asking for a morning off from my baby on the weekends?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a bustling household where a six-month-old baby girl rules the roost, her 7 AM wake-ups clashing with a sleep regression that’s got her up every two hours. Her mom, a stellar stay-at-home champ, juggles two half-day work shifts, all the cooking, cleaning, and nighttime feeds, while her dad full time worker and part-time student cheerfully foots the bills, both living their dream gig with love and grit.

Weekends usually split the baby load, each parent snagging solo time to recharge. But with mom, a light sleeper with insomnia, fraying from night duty, she’s begging dad to take the early shift both days for an extra hour of sleep. He’s game but craves his own morning lie-in to game and chill, not nap. A weary tiff bubbles up let’s dive into this Reddit rumble.

‘AITA for asking for a morning off from my baby on the weekends?’

My wife and I have a six month old baby girl. She's mostly a SAHM, she works two half days a week and her sister watches the baby. I work full time and go to school one day a week. We've always had an arrangement where she takes care of the household duties (cooking, cleaning, and now baby care) while I happily support her monetarily.

Honestly, we are both living our dream life and my wife does an absolutely spectacular job taking care of me and our little one. On the weekends, we share baby duty. We usually make sure each of us gets our own alone time to do whatever we want. However, our girl has hit a bit of a sleep regression, waking up every two hours--since my wife b**ast feeds,

she's always taken care of the baby full time overnight. She's a light sleeper and unfortunately has insomnia, whereas I am a deep sleeper and wouldn't wake up for baby cries anyways . Recently my wife has been asking me to wake up with the baby both days on the weekends so she can get an extra hour of sleep. Baby wakes up around 7am.

I get the baby dressed and take over for that hour. But sometimes, I want to be the one that gets to sleep in an extra hour. I brought this up to her and she says while she's happy to let me nap during the day, she really needs that hour bc she can't nap like I can. We got into an argument about it

And she said I'm being very insensitive when I know she is very exhausted and cant nap during the day and she struggles going back to sleep every time the baby wakes up. But I'm exhausted too, work wears me out, and school days are long... and I sometimes want the hour in the morning.

I don't want to spend my off time napping, I want to play videogames and chill out. I've gotten mixed opinions on who is in the wrong here, or if there even is anyone in the wrong. AITA for asking us to share mornings off for sleep?

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This bleary-eyed battle brews a classic parenting pickle. Mom’s on 24/7 night patrol, breastfeeding through a sleep regression, her insomnia blocking rest, while dad, a deep sleeper, logs full nights but runs ragged from work and school. His bid for a weekend morning off—eyeing video games, not sleep—hits her plea for an hour to catch up, and tempers flare. Both feel drained, but the load tilts hard.

Sleep deprivation’s no joke in new parenthood. A 2023 study by the National Sleep Foundation shows 76% of parents with infants lose 1-3 hours of sleep nightly, with breastfeeding moms hit hardest. Mom’s solo night shifts, paired with no nap knack, sap her, while dad’s full rest fuels his day. His chill-time wish collides with her survival need.

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Dr. Harvey Karp, a pediatric sleep expert, notes, “Sleep loss in early parenting strains partnerships—sharing the load, even unevenly, keeps both afloat”. Mom’s carrying the night, so dad’s morning lift eases her edge—his gaming can wait. A nap might recharge him, but her body craves a stretch of peace. Empathy’s the glue here, not a tug-of-war.

Try a tweak: Dad takes both weekend mornings for her to sleep till 8 AM, then she gifts him an afternoon hour for games. Swap a night with a bottle—pumped milk or formula—if doable, to split the grind. Praise her heroics, and lean in as a team. Small shifts can soothe this sleepy storm and keep the dream life humming.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit piled on, mostly tagging our dad as the tougher sell. The crowd sees mom’s all-night marathon—feeding, soothing, no sleep—as a heavy lift, leaving her desperate for a morning break. Dad’s full nights and nap ability tip the scales, and many scoff at his gaming goal over her rest, urging him to step up early and let her breathe.

Some nod to his fatigue from work and school, but the vibe leans clear: her exhaustion trumps, and nights aren’t his to claim. Direct help—mornings on, maybe a bottle night—wins cheers, with a stern nudge to see her load and ditch the controller guilt-free later. Teamwork’s the rally cry here.

Solaris_0706 − YTA, if she's taking all the night duty because you don't wake up, then you get the morning duty when you do wake up so she can catch up on her lost sleep in the night. You want a morning off, give her a night off.

jdessy − YTA - You don't think she wants to just chill out and do something on her own time? She's working too by not just going to work, but also taking care of the baby. The least you could do is give her some time to sleep in. She's right; you can nap and do whatever, she can't.

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And unless you're going to offer to take over the feeding through formula, the ONLY time she gets a break is if baby is sleeping or she's off to work.. Give up your extra hour of sleep; give it to your wife, who does so much.

BrightnessInvested − I needed night time support from my partner when my child was a newborn. He didn't take it serious and it took more effort from me to wake him up to help than it was to just do it myself. I stopped feeling like a human. The resentment never went away. We divorced when the kid was 2.

Rohini_rambles − RIP OP. You're going to be buried in the YTA judgements here. She works PT, takes care of baby, has to do all the housework, has to do all of the night feedings, can't sleep.... but sure, you'd like an hour.

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You are out of the house all week, and you do what, spend one hour a day 'helping' to take care of your kid? And would like more time to play games? You have no idea what her day looks like, do you? Take three days off, and send her on a mini vacay to sleep somewhere, and see all the stuff that she does on a daily basis, on repeat.

Nearby-Possession204 − YTA - so you get a complete full night uninterrupted sleep because you don’t wake up (deep sleep, whatever) to feed/change your child and you still want more sleep? Your child wakes up at 7am…. That’s pretty conservative really…. Mine are up at 5am…. The joy….

We did take it in turns to sleep in when they were little but that’s because we BOTH took turns at night….. Edit to add - what’s the difference between an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon???? Still wasted hour you can’t play video games and chill……

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angelaheidt − YTA - she's perpetually sleep deprived and an extra 1-2 hours on the weekend can make all the difference. Meanwhile, you get a full night's sleep EVERY SINGLE NIGHT

Excellent_Care1859 − YTA, you would rather play video games then help your exhausted wife get an extra hour of sleep?! Why do people marry people like you?! My husband was constantly trying to take our kids so I could get sleep (especially when I was up nursing every few hours).

[Reddit User] − Give her my contact info I'll keep her happy.

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NunyaBiznessK − I have read your post and some of your responses. I am honestly blown away by how selfish you are and how you don’t seem to see it. But actually I think you are more than aware of it and are perfectly okay with being selfish so long as all your needs are met.

As a former b**ast feeding mother I completely understand where you wife is coming from. Her body aches, her hormones are out of whack, her nutrition might not be great, and she is exhausted mentally and physically. It is a kind of tired that you will never understand.

Your wife need rest. She is verbalizing to you that she needs help. And she’s not asking you to help by feeding the baby overnight with pumped b**ast milk. Because god forbid, you wake up in the night. She’s simply asking you to let her catch up on the rest she’s not getting right now.

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I don’t think you can understand just how quickly someone can lose themselves when they become and mom and b**ast feed. Her entire existence has become 100% about someone else. And she does it every day. And she takes care of you. So who takes care of her? What will it take for you to realize she needs help since her asking for it didn’t seem to be enough?

It’s time to grow up. It’s time to put the needs of your wife and baby ahead of your own because that is what it means to be a parent and a husband and an adult. Stop congratulating yourself for making your own lunches on occasion. Stop patting yourself on the back for giving her a break when you get home.

A break that I am sure is really just her doing laundry, or cooking, or bathing. Those are not breaks. Your child deserves better from you. And your wife cannot be the parent she wants to be when she is exhausted and unsupported. This is how marriages end. Because she signed up to be your wife, not your mommy.

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To put this into perspective for you, think of it this way. If your wife disappeared tomorrow, your entire life and home would be in shambles. If you disappeared tomorrow her life would be pretty much exactly the same except for that all important break when you get home from work.

You shouldn’t be okay with that kind of imbalance in your relationship.. YTA. ETA: wow thank you all for the awards, I’ve never gotten one! I’m glad so many people have had the experience of b**ast feeding but with much more help than OPs wife.

StuffonBookshelfs − INFO: When was the last time your wife got more than 6 hours of sleep in a row?

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This baby-duty dust-up dishes a tired truth: a six-month-old’s sleep regression tests two loving parents, with mom drained by nights and dad worn by days. His yen for a morning off bumps her plea for sleep, but a shared shuffle could steady them. A bit of give early rises, a later break might recharge this duo. Toss your thoughts, feelings, and fixes below let’s rock this cradle conundrum!

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